LEEYUAN
guess the word ? :D
>> leeyi
HOLA!
greetings from england people.
it's bloody cold.
and i would probably like it if i wasn't so alone.
you know what i mean?
):
okay, i haven't really cried since i left singapore.
methinks it hasn't really hit me yet.
yesterday, it kinda did.
was writing in the rj notebook i bought in rj that day with charlotte, and i suddenly missed everyone dreadfully.
i miss my mommy so much.
and my sis.
and my bro.
and my daddy
-wails.
oh, and clare, SHIT YOU SHOULD BE HERE.
the malls are seriously nice lah.
as in, i was walking around with yiyang and i kept thinking,"clare would really like it here"
and like, i'll be oh, i'll be lots more hyper if clare, or anyone i knew well was here.
i am SO desolated.
i don't think i've ever felt so lonely and insecure in my life.
being overseas really isn't all that cut out to be.
really.
i want to go home.
got my maid to do all the stuff i dont want to do.
my room is in an utter mess, by the way.
i just do not posess the skill of housekeeping.
shucks.
england is so far away.
i suddenly wish i went to australia instead.
dang.
the plane flight was a horror.
british airways was so damned cramped.
and next to me was this huge angmoh woman who was absolutely radiating heat.
poor me sitting by her.
was dying of heat for almost half the flight.
and that's 7 hours.
no play-play.
couldnt really sleep, felt so worried about the damned luaggage.
my shoulders felt like they were splitting from all that damned hand luggage.
GAH.
oh, the houses here are all .. brickish.
very quaint.
and that's bad.
because quaint is almost synonimous with SMALL.
ugh.
and i was smsing clare and everything.
one moment i saw slightly bigger houses, i'll sms clare in delight.
then the next, it's like, "shit, they're small again."
haha.
and i was fervently wishing that the house i was gonna stay in was like, big.
and the driver dropped me in front of a rather small house.
and i was all, "awwww."
and turns out, the driver was wrong and he brought me to a dump.
the house isnt even just small.
it's minuscule.
it's miniature.
it's microscopic.
and the lady wasn't home yet.
so the stupid driver left me with all my baggage outside the house, freezing away.
and so i started smsing my mom and everybody else complaining and whining.
i even told my mom i was going to sue the school for letting me stay in this place.
but okay.
it wasnt so bad inside.
i calmed down a little.
my hostess is quite nice lah.
she's scottish.
ha ha.
she brought me to the stables where her daughter was having riding lessons.
the ride was pleasant.
it was in this countryside place.
and you can see that high up in the hills, the houses were really big.
and nice.
was green with envy.
ha ha, i don't think i quite connect with them mother and daughter though.
as in, they're very into animals.
they like the ponies and the chickens and the deers.
so when we were passing the countryside and all,
they'll be like, "oh, look at that pretty horse."
or, "that's a lovely shetland pony.
and i was just trying to give interested 'mmm's.
when all i was thinking was, "ooh OOH, ferrarri!"
(yes, i did see a ferrari. two in fact, one in front of another, probably belonged to those privileged individuals living in the big houses)
yes, i dont think we connect.
they're still nice people though.
okay, i really miss everyone SO much.
i miss my mom.
):
i miss my home.
gahh.
and i keep thinking,"if only clare were here."
and thing is, i have the feeling that if say, my sis were here with me, then i probably wouldnt be feeling so goddarned homesick.
as in, she'll be whining/crying/moaning about home and mommy.
and i'll be the one who goes, "stop it lah, seriously."
but now that i'm the only one here.
nobody's gonna do my moping for me.
yes, 'tis true.
i'm moping.
and i still have to get my stupid bank account thing done.
that thing's troubling me oh-so-much.
i wish my mom had come for one week, so i wouldnt have to worry about that so much.
ugh.
will have to get the stupid letter or whatever from the office.
louie said she'll give me at most 1 week before i break down.
okay yeah, i almost did yesterday.
but then my sis called me.
and we talked.
long.
and now we're both screwed because my sister thinks the phone bill is in the thousands now.
GAWD.
what a heart attack it gave me.
i really have to get my stupid sim card activated now.
and i have to say my hellos to josceline.
so many things to do.
i feel so lost, seriously
dear me.
if only my mom could come over now.
):
i miss everyone tons.
i miss the cj people.
as in, xiangting they all.
i miss clare bri and charlotte.
OH, i just miss everyone.
ugh.
this is deteriorating into a mush fit.
i am so sad.
been a pretty long entry, this.
people, i miss you all badly.
got lessons later.
am so nervous, since i missed 2 weeks.
ah ):
greetings from england people.
it's bloody cold.
and i would probably like it if i wasn't so alone.
you know what i mean?
):
okay, i haven't really cried since i left singapore.
methinks it hasn't really hit me yet.
yesterday, it kinda did.
was writing in the rj notebook i bought in rj that day with charlotte, and i suddenly missed everyone dreadfully.
i miss my mommy so much.
and my sis.
and my bro.
and my daddy
-wails.
oh, and clare, SHIT YOU SHOULD BE HERE.
the malls are seriously nice lah.
as in, i was walking around with yiyang and i kept thinking,"clare would really like it here"
and like, i'll be oh, i'll be lots more hyper if clare, or anyone i knew well was here.
i am SO desolated.
i don't think i've ever felt so lonely and insecure in my life.
being overseas really isn't all that cut out to be.
really.
i want to go home.
got my maid to do all the stuff i dont want to do.
my room is in an utter mess, by the way.
i just do not posess the skill of housekeeping.
shucks.
england is so far away.
i suddenly wish i went to australia instead.
dang.
the plane flight was a horror.
british airways was so damned cramped.
and next to me was this huge angmoh woman who was absolutely radiating heat.
poor me sitting by her.
was dying of heat for almost half the flight.
and that's 7 hours.
no play-play.
couldnt really sleep, felt so worried about the damned luaggage.
my shoulders felt like they were splitting from all that damned hand luggage.
GAH.
oh, the houses here are all .. brickish.
very quaint.
and that's bad.
because quaint is almost synonimous with SMALL.
ugh.
and i was smsing clare and everything.
one moment i saw slightly bigger houses, i'll sms clare in delight.
then the next, it's like, "shit, they're small again."
haha.
and i was fervently wishing that the house i was gonna stay in was like, big.
and the driver dropped me in front of a rather small house.
and i was all, "awwww."
and turns out, the driver was wrong and he brought me to a dump.
the house isnt even just small.
it's minuscule.
it's miniature.
it's microscopic.
and the lady wasn't home yet.
so the stupid driver left me with all my baggage outside the house, freezing away.
and so i started smsing my mom and everybody else complaining and whining.
i even told my mom i was going to sue the school for letting me stay in this place.
but okay.
it wasnt so bad inside.
i calmed down a little.
my hostess is quite nice lah.
she's scottish.
ha ha.
she brought me to the stables where her daughter was having riding lessons.
the ride was pleasant.
it was in this countryside place.
and you can see that high up in the hills, the houses were really big.
and nice.
was green with envy.
ha ha, i don't think i quite connect with them mother and daughter though.
as in, they're very into animals.
they like the ponies and the chickens and the deers.
so when we were passing the countryside and all,
they'll be like, "oh, look at that pretty horse."
or, "that's a lovely shetland pony.
and i was just trying to give interested 'mmm's.
when all i was thinking was, "ooh OOH, ferrarri!"
(yes, i did see a ferrari. two in fact, one in front of another, probably belonged to those privileged individuals living in the big houses)
yes, i dont think we connect.
they're still nice people though.
okay, i really miss everyone SO much.
i miss my mom.
):
i miss my home.
gahh.
and i keep thinking,"if only clare were here."
and thing is, i have the feeling that if say, my sis were here with me, then i probably wouldnt be feeling so goddarned homesick.
as in, she'll be whining/crying/moaning about home and mommy.
and i'll be the one who goes, "stop it lah, seriously."
but now that i'm the only one here.
nobody's gonna do my moping for me.
yes, 'tis true.
i'm moping.
and i still have to get my stupid bank account thing done.
that thing's troubling me oh-so-much.
i wish my mom had come for one week, so i wouldnt have to worry about that so much.
ugh.
will have to get the stupid letter or whatever from the office.
louie said she'll give me at most 1 week before i break down.
okay yeah, i almost did yesterday.
but then my sis called me.
and we talked.
long.
and now we're both screwed because my sister thinks the phone bill is in the thousands now.
GAWD.
what a heart attack it gave me.
i really have to get my stupid sim card activated now.
and i have to say my hellos to josceline.
so many things to do.
i feel so lost, seriously
dear me.
if only my mom could come over now.
):
i miss everyone tons.
i miss the cj people.
as in, xiangting they all.
i miss clare bri and charlotte.
OH, i just miss everyone.
ugh.
this is deteriorating into a mush fit.
i am so sad.
been a pretty long entry, this.
people, i miss you all badly.
got lessons later.
am so nervous, since i missed 2 weeks.
ah ):
Friday, January 28, 2005
leaving for the airport in a while.
i am so ..... !!!!!
i don't really know what i'm feeling.
yeah well, thanks to everyone who smsed/called to wish me.
:D
(my god, that sounded so cliche. haha)
but thanks all.
we'll meet in june alright?
-laughs.
to phoon, clare, bri.
when you three are congregated at melbourne and having tons of fun together, i demand that you all take a moment of your time to lament, "gee, if only lee were here."
OKAY?
that is an order.
-stern.
okay, i just learnt that my homestay hostess has a daughter.
A DAUGHTER!.
my god.
a daughter is worst than a son.
i hope she's 7.
if she's 15 and a bitch, i'm outta there before the week is up.
wish me luck.
(:
i am so ..... !!!!!
i don't really know what i'm feeling.
yeah well, thanks to everyone who smsed/called to wish me.
:D
(my god, that sounded so cliche. haha)
but thanks all.
we'll meet in june alright?
-laughs.
to phoon, clare, bri.
when you three are congregated at melbourne and having tons of fun together, i demand that you all take a moment of your time to lament, "gee, if only lee were here."
OKAY?
that is an order.
-stern.
okay, i just learnt that my homestay hostess has a daughter.
A DAUGHTER!.
my god.
a daughter is worst than a son.
i hope she's 7.
if she's 15 and a bitch, i'm outta there before the week is up.
wish me luck.
(:
am horrifically tired.
i think sleeping for the next two hours isnt a bad idea.
aunt woke me at 11
):
not enough sleep.
talked to bri on msn last night till 4am.
reminiscing and making promises.
haha.
our pinky promise, and the fourth finger one.
:D
had lunch with aunts tina and pearlyn plus mom.
i will miss raffles hotel very much.
was feeling rather maudlin, actually.
(maudlin is always in my vocabulary nowadays)
being at raffles hotel reminded me of unbound.
and that therefore reminded me of steph eliza and jo.
especially steph who was my lights person.
oh, those days.
):
i hope it won't be too emotional later on.
i can't afford to cry too.
eyes too small as it is already.
somemore, i'm going by myself.
and it's dark still at 5 in england.
i'll be a blind rat there if my eyes are swollen.
i think sleeping for the next two hours isnt a bad idea.
aunt woke me at 11
):
not enough sleep.
talked to bri on msn last night till 4am.
reminiscing and making promises.
haha.
our pinky promise, and the fourth finger one.
:D
had lunch with aunts tina and pearlyn plus mom.
i will miss raffles hotel very much.
was feeling rather maudlin, actually.
(maudlin is always in my vocabulary nowadays)
being at raffles hotel reminded me of unbound.
and that therefore reminded me of steph eliza and jo.
especially steph who was my lights person.
oh, those days.
):
i hope it won't be too emotional later on.
i can't afford to cry too.
eyes too small as it is already.
somemore, i'm going by myself.
and it's dark still at 5 in england.
i'll be a blind rat there if my eyes are swollen.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
i don't believe this.
i'm sitting at my desk, at one bloody am waiting for the stupid accomodations officer to email back about the damned airport collection form.
it's so surreal.
i don't even know why i'm waiting so patiently for her to reply.
stupid woman.
what's taking so long?
-grumbles.
and besides, what kind of a name is 'airport collection' anyway?
for your 411, that thing they're gonna collect is ME.
gah.
collection indeed.
GAH.
i'm sitting at my desk, at one bloody am waiting for the stupid accomodations officer to email back about the damned airport collection form.
it's so surreal.
i don't even know why i'm waiting so patiently for her to reply.
stupid woman.
what's taking so long?
-grumbles.
and besides, what kind of a name is 'airport collection' anyway?
for your 411, that thing they're gonna collect is ME.
gah.
collection indeed.
GAH.
you know, even though i'm going to england already, i still really REALLY want to go to acjc.
reading brendan's blog always gives me that huge urge.
there's a bitch in acjc who many people do not like.
(i just read her blog. i don't like her too)
i wanna be part of the hate.
oh, woe.
pierced my ears.
my mom's gonna have something to say about that extra stud.
oh well, it's just one.
but happiness.
i officially have 4 holes in my ears.
certainly a cause for celebration.
:D
my mom's nice friend gave me a huge red packet.
she is so nice.
i love that my mom has all these big shot lawyer friends.
make that really nice, big shot lawyer friends.
it's good to have rich friends.
ha ha.
shit, i want to be in acjc.
it sounds so fun.
i bet my cousin's having a blast.
boo.
reading brendan's blog always gives me that huge urge.
there's a bitch in acjc who many people do not like.
(i just read her blog. i don't like her too)
i wanna be part of the hate.
oh, woe.
pierced my ears.
my mom's gonna have something to say about that extra stud.
oh well, it's just one.
but happiness.
i officially have 4 holes in my ears.
certainly a cause for celebration.
:D
my mom's nice friend gave me a huge red packet.
she is so nice.
i love that my mom has all these big shot lawyer friends.
make that really nice, big shot lawyer friends.
it's good to have rich friends.
ha ha.
shit, i want to be in acjc.
it sounds so fun.
i bet my cousin's having a blast.
boo.
i'm wondering if i should go pierce my ears first at the doc's before meet xin for our friendship piercing, or should i just pierce all at one go?
hmm.
my life has degenerated into such idleness.
that's all the idleness i can have now.
by next week, my life goes in full gear.
and it doesn't stop till i start to earn my own money.
quite intimidating.
i scare myself sometimes.
i keep wondering if i'll ever see all of my circle of close friends together again.
we're all gonna be in different continents.
how final that sounds.
hey all, please please be back here around june/july?
that was a futile request.
i know only bri will possibly be back.
and that's only a possibility.
will see charlotte at least.
just hit me yesterday that from tommorrow,
i'll be spending most of my days in england for at least 4 years.
4 years, my god.
my life's about to start.
:D
hmm.
my life has degenerated into such idleness.
that's all the idleness i can have now.
by next week, my life goes in full gear.
and it doesn't stop till i start to earn my own money.
quite intimidating.
i scare myself sometimes.
i keep wondering if i'll ever see all of my circle of close friends together again.
we're all gonna be in different continents.
how final that sounds.
hey all, please please be back here around june/july?
that was a futile request.
i know only bri will possibly be back.
and that's only a possibility.
will see charlotte at least.
just hit me yesterday that from tommorrow,
i'll be spending most of my days in england for at least 4 years.
4 years, my god.
my life's about to start.
:D
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
i wanna marry a russian billionaire.
charlotte and i were discussing the merits of being russians and procreating with them.
well, actually charlotte was lamenting how the whole nation is gorgeous, and i consequently decided that procreation would be a good plan to have if i really want that hot son of mine.
(and believe me, i do)
and of course, that is not discounting the fact that clare and i already have that russian billionaire pact.
it is a good pact.
it ensures a good life.
and besides, 'russian billionaire' just sounds so damn good.
i should ensnare one.
then marry that one.
my son will then be statuesque and beautiful.
he will be a good mix between russian and chinese. (..mmm)
and his name will be very long and nobody can pronounce it.
HAHA!
:D
and my surname can also be changed into a long sounding one with a lot of Zs and Xs and Vs in it.
and i will then cease to have a no-brainer name.
people will have to squeeze their brains just to contemplate pronouncing my name.
and when they do attempt to, their tongues will end up in knots!
joy joy happy happy.
something tells me having a monosyllabic name has scarred me pretty badly.
haha.
i am already prepared for many mispronunciations of my name.
i'll bet everyone in england will call me "you-waaan".
-slaps forehead.
i think i'll just chug ahead and announce on loudspeaker for everyone to just call me lee.
simple, short and sweet.
then not only will they remember me because my name is short and sweet,
they will remember me because i am such a freakette.
(:
ha ha.
i hope there's gonna be one russian in my cohort, at least.
and i hope it's a he.
and he is hot.
and rich.
charlotte thinks these second/third/fourth generation rich brats aren't good to have around though.
charlotte goes for the self-made millionaires.
(:
lee?
AH, lee just goes for the millionaires.
whether they be his millions, or his daddy's millions.
as long as they are millions.
and they are sitting pretty in a bank vault.
COME TO MOMMA!
ooh.
-jiggles.
ha ha ha.
charlotte and i were discussing the merits of being russians and procreating with them.
well, actually charlotte was lamenting how the whole nation is gorgeous, and i consequently decided that procreation would be a good plan to have if i really want that hot son of mine.
(and believe me, i do)
and of course, that is not discounting the fact that clare and i already have that russian billionaire pact.
it is a good pact.
it ensures a good life.
and besides, 'russian billionaire' just sounds so damn good.
i should ensnare one.
then marry that one.
my son will then be statuesque and beautiful.
he will be a good mix between russian and chinese. (..mmm)
and his name will be very long and nobody can pronounce it.
HAHA!
:D
and my surname can also be changed into a long sounding one with a lot of Zs and Xs and Vs in it.
and i will then cease to have a no-brainer name.
people will have to squeeze their brains just to contemplate pronouncing my name.
and when they do attempt to, their tongues will end up in knots!
joy joy happy happy.
something tells me having a monosyllabic name has scarred me pretty badly.
haha.
i am already prepared for many mispronunciations of my name.
i'll bet everyone in england will call me "you-waaan".
-slaps forehead.
i think i'll just chug ahead and announce on loudspeaker for everyone to just call me lee.
simple, short and sweet.
then not only will they remember me because my name is short and sweet,
they will remember me because i am such a freakette.
(:
ha ha.
i hope there's gonna be one russian in my cohort, at least.
and i hope it's a he.
and he is hot.
and rich.
charlotte thinks these second/third/fourth generation rich brats aren't good to have around though.
charlotte goes for the self-made millionaires.
(:
lee?
AH, lee just goes for the millionaires.
whether they be his millions, or his daddy's millions.
as long as they are millions.
and they are sitting pretty in a bank vault.
COME TO MOMMA!
ooh.
-jiggles.
ha ha ha.
good day spent in rj.
it was just nice mooching around there.
they have a gorgeous library.
but somehow i was more impressed with the sji one.
i don't know why.
maybe it's because the woman chased me out of the rj library after i'd walked but five steps into it.
ha ha.
later on, went to get my visa.
(YES, I'VE GOT MY VISA. PRAISE THE LORD)
charlotte was being a little sweetums and accompanied me there.
then somehow we ended up at suntec.
so went marche there.
it was the most peaceful and serene time i've had in ages.
just sat there with charlotte, talked and gazed out the glass panels.
it was, in a word, blissful.
i'm not sure why.
it just felt so good.
i hope charlotte goes to rj after first three.
it's so cool.
and i'll be so proud of her too.
my flight's at 1130 fri.
haha, it's pretty late.
so i expect only the people who really love me will bother.
:D
it was just nice mooching around there.
they have a gorgeous library.
but somehow i was more impressed with the sji one.
i don't know why.
maybe it's because the woman chased me out of the rj library after i'd walked but five steps into it.
ha ha.
later on, went to get my visa.
(YES, I'VE GOT MY VISA. PRAISE THE LORD)
charlotte was being a little sweetums and accompanied me there.
then somehow we ended up at suntec.
so went marche there.
it was the most peaceful and serene time i've had in ages.
just sat there with charlotte, talked and gazed out the glass panels.
it was, in a word, blissful.
i'm not sure why.
it just felt so good.
i hope charlotte goes to rj after first three.
it's so cool.
and i'll be so proud of her too.
my flight's at 1130 fri.
haha, it's pretty late.
so i expect only the people who really love me will bother.
:D
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
WANJING! oh my god, how'd you find your way here?
so you know who i am?
do i know you?
!!!!
i can't believe you actually tagged me.
-gapes.
i'm sounding like an absolute loser now.
i'm going soon.
heard you're in law too.
see you!
no wait, keep in contact.
tell me if i'm supposed to know you.
i live my life in a daze so i just might know you, but i don't know it yet, you know?
:D
love love.
tag me more!
so you know who i am?
do i know you?
!!!!
i can't believe you actually tagged me.
-gapes.
i'm sounding like an absolute loser now.
i'm going soon.
heard you're in law too.
see you!
no wait, keep in contact.
tell me if i'm supposed to know you.
i live my life in a daze so i just might know you, but i don't know it yet, you know?
:D
love love.
tag me more!
tommorrow, charlotte and i crash rj.
brilliant.
tommorrow, just for one day, i will be amongst the elite.
terrific.
ooh, am just so hyper thinking of it.
yiyang told me that my cohort has a lot of malaysians and singaporeans.
dang.
i want international friends.
hahaha.
oh, and she also told me about this russian guy whose dad owns a airline.
and he has a private jet.
whoa, that's some serious moolah going on.
it reminded me of clare's and my russian billionaire pact.
got me into a good giggling fit for 15 mins.
cheered me up immensely.
those were the days, man.
i absolutely adore phoon.
that was a random though.
haha.
brilliant.
tommorrow, just for one day, i will be amongst the elite.
terrific.
ooh, am just so hyper thinking of it.
yiyang told me that my cohort has a lot of malaysians and singaporeans.
dang.
i want international friends.
hahaha.
oh, and she also told me about this russian guy whose dad owns a airline.
and he has a private jet.
whoa, that's some serious moolah going on.
it reminded me of clare's and my russian billionaire pact.
got me into a good giggling fit for 15 mins.
cheered me up immensely.
those were the days, man.
i absolutely adore phoon.
that was a random though.
haha.
my eyes still feel odd.
damn.
my wound is still rotting away.
double damn.
my mom called to tell me there isn't a straight plane ticket from british airways that costs 740 bucks and is very strict about luggage weight.
triple damn.
oh, and woke up too late for SA.
multiple damns.
haha, oh well.
am comforting myself with a jane feather book.
the book cover is so pretty.
-sighs happily.
my flight timing will be damn wierd.
and i will reach london at like, 5 in the morning.
oh gaaawd.
imagine going to sleep on at plane at 12,
sleeping for 13 hours, only to find self landing at 5 in the morn.
something tells me my body clock's not gonna make much sense of that.
am gonna be a confused and lonely zombie then.
i hope my visa comes soon.
the girl in ctc, she is wanjing.
i hope i recognise her.
i hope she's nice.
i hope she bitches well.
i hope she's my kinda person.
she's from choir.
at least i know we both sing like birds.
):
oh boy, i hope i like her.
and vice versa.
i am so jumpy about stuff now.
it feels very wierd.
damn.
my wound is still rotting away.
double damn.
my mom called to tell me there isn't a straight plane ticket from british airways that costs 740 bucks and is very strict about luggage weight.
triple damn.
oh, and woke up too late for SA.
multiple damns.
haha, oh well.
am comforting myself with a jane feather book.
the book cover is so pretty.
-sighs happily.
my flight timing will be damn wierd.
and i will reach london at like, 5 in the morning.
oh gaaawd.
imagine going to sleep on at plane at 12,
sleeping for 13 hours, only to find self landing at 5 in the morn.
something tells me my body clock's not gonna make much sense of that.
am gonna be a confused and lonely zombie then.
i hope my visa comes soon.
the girl in ctc, she is wanjing.
i hope i recognise her.
i hope she's nice.
i hope she bitches well.
i hope she's my kinda person.
she's from choir.
at least i know we both sing like birds.
):
oh boy, i hope i like her.
and vice versa.
i am so jumpy about stuff now.
it feels very wierd.
Monday, January 24, 2005
my stats today are tragic.
i can't look at them.
where IS everybody?!
haha.
i have a festering wound on my sacred body.
it hurts like nobody's bleedin' business.
and it's disgusting.
note the word, festering.
i think i can almost see maggots.
-groans.
i gross myself out sometimes.
why don't i heal fast?
ugh.
i can't look at them.
where IS everybody?!
haha.
i have a festering wound on my sacred body.
it hurts like nobody's bleedin' business.
and it's disgusting.
note the word, festering.
i think i can almost see maggots.
-groans.
i gross myself out sometimes.
why don't i heal fast?
ugh.
rarr!
i'm in SUCH a bad mood.
nothing to do with the company and how i spent my day.
bri, louie, mag and eliza were lovely.
really, they were.
and school is always a happy place.
i'm just annoyed at stuff.
how i'm missing two bloody week of school and i really don't want to.
on a whole, i'm just bloody freaked that i'm gonna miss out on the study and the friends.
shit.
like really, human nature.
you miss out on study, you feel lost, you feel annoyed, and you feel pissed.
and then you give up.
i'm seriously sick of screwing up.
like bri says, screwing up isn't funny anymore.
and it really isn't.
you just don't fuck around on tertiary education.
and you especially don't fuck around on such expensive education.
the thought of screwing up and not giving all that moolah their due respect just makes me sick.
nobody disrespects money, okay.
and i'm bloody freaked about the people too.
like hello.
i missed 3 days of cj and i didnt connect with the people after that.
and NOW.
i miss two weeks.
two friggin' weeks!
i'm going to be so absolutely friendless.
and when you're friendless, you feel disengaged, you feel bored, and you feel disinterested.
and then you start dreaming in class.
which is BAD, because that brings me back to the problem of already missing two weeks of class.
I AM SO JACKED.
i hate feeling lost.
not in control.
it sucks.
i'm in a very bad mood.
i just want to leave.
okay, and i'm sorry if i severely alienated anyone.
but whatever.
not in the mood to deal.
i'm in SUCH a bad mood.
nothing to do with the company and how i spent my day.
bri, louie, mag and eliza were lovely.
really, they were.
and school is always a happy place.
i'm just annoyed at stuff.
how i'm missing two bloody week of school and i really don't want to.
on a whole, i'm just bloody freaked that i'm gonna miss out on the study and the friends.
shit.
like really, human nature.
you miss out on study, you feel lost, you feel annoyed, and you feel pissed.
and then you give up.
i'm seriously sick of screwing up.
like bri says, screwing up isn't funny anymore.
and it really isn't.
you just don't fuck around on tertiary education.
and you especially don't fuck around on such expensive education.
the thought of screwing up and not giving all that moolah their due respect just makes me sick.
nobody disrespects money, okay.
and i'm bloody freaked about the people too.
like hello.
i missed 3 days of cj and i didnt connect with the people after that.
and NOW.
i miss two weeks.
two friggin' weeks!
i'm going to be so absolutely friendless.
and when you're friendless, you feel disengaged, you feel bored, and you feel disinterested.
and then you start dreaming in class.
which is BAD, because that brings me back to the problem of already missing two weeks of class.
I AM SO JACKED.
i hate feeling lost.
not in control.
it sucks.
i'm in a very bad mood.
i just want to leave.
okay, and i'm sorry if i severely alienated anyone.
but whatever.
not in the mood to deal.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
i'm damn sad.
today was my last day of tuition.
as xinhui very aptly pointed out, i'm probably the only person who likes tuition more than school.
okay, i REALLY liked tuition lah.
i will miss them all in chinese tuition very much ):
not that there is many of them left, but oh well.
i cannot wait to leave, actually.
like bri said, a new life is exciting.
and i never really liked my old life.
but now that i think of it, it wasn't that terrible either.
i'm a very confused kid, i am.
i still cannot wait to leave.
will be meeting bri in school tommorrow.
crashing SA on tues.
crashing RJ on wed.
and in between those days, i'm searching out xinhui for our friendship piercing.
(oh which bri hasn't yet decided and clare chickened on me)
i think this week will be quite fulfilling.
ha ha.
i'm sick of saying that i'll miss people already.
so if i stop saying it completely, just be safe in the knowledge that i'm missing all and everyone.
i just dont feel like saying it anymore.
so cliche.
my mom reminded me today that i'm always setting the precedence for everything.
yeah.
how hard i had to fight for my 8210 in p6.
and then my sister and brother gets their handphones without even a peep.
and now i fight so hard for going overseas,
and next time if any of them wants it, they'll have an easier time.
(which is not to say, an easy time. but easier, definitely)
i like, fight for our rights!
YEAH. and our freedom!
-blinks.
ooh.
i'm a freedom fighter!
God is great!
ha ha ha!
:D
today was my last day of tuition.
as xinhui very aptly pointed out, i'm probably the only person who likes tuition more than school.
okay, i REALLY liked tuition lah.
i will miss them all in chinese tuition very much ):
not that there is many of them left, but oh well.
i cannot wait to leave, actually.
like bri said, a new life is exciting.
and i never really liked my old life.
but now that i think of it, it wasn't that terrible either.
i'm a very confused kid, i am.
i still cannot wait to leave.
will be meeting bri in school tommorrow.
crashing SA on tues.
crashing RJ on wed.
and in between those days, i'm searching out xinhui for our friendship piercing.
(oh which bri hasn't yet decided and clare chickened on me)
i think this week will be quite fulfilling.
ha ha.
i'm sick of saying that i'll miss people already.
so if i stop saying it completely, just be safe in the knowledge that i'm missing all and everyone.
i just dont feel like saying it anymore.
so cliche.
my mom reminded me today that i'm always setting the precedence for everything.
yeah.
how hard i had to fight for my 8210 in p6.
and then my sister and brother gets their handphones without even a peep.
and now i fight so hard for going overseas,
and next time if any of them wants it, they'll have an easier time.
(which is not to say, an easy time. but easier, definitely)
i like, fight for our rights!
YEAH. and our freedom!
-blinks.
ooh.
i'm a freedom fighter!
God is great!
ha ha ha!
:D
i turned on chinese mtv and saw a stefanie sun mtv
i have fallen in love.
the guy in the mtv is fuckin' g o r g e o u s.
mah lord.
-swoons.
I WANT TO MARRY A FRENCHMAN NOW.
i hope ctc organizes a school trip to paris.
i really do.
chinese mtv is overrun with gorgeous males.
i saw feixiang.
he is damnably gorgeous for someone so old.
damn, should watch chinese mtv more.
i have fallen in love.
the guy in the mtv is fuckin' g o r g e o u s.
mah lord.
-swoons.
I WANT TO MARRY A FRENCHMAN NOW.
i hope ctc organizes a school trip to paris.
i really do.
chinese mtv is overrun with gorgeous males.
i saw feixiang.
he is damnably gorgeous for someone so old.
damn, should watch chinese mtv more.
i've run out of things to say.
actually, okay.
i'll probably think of something as i go along.
oh, I STILL CAN'T FIND MY DIARY.
this is some very bad karma.
suppose somebody has it now.
reading it.
flipping it's sacred pages.
-slaps forehead.
ohhhhh.
here you, return my diary to me.
-glares.
i just don't know where the the goddamn thing is, dammit.
i want it back!
-whines.
it has a lot of pictures and essays and stuff in it.
oh, plus i wrote a lot of really maudlin crap in there.
if anybody but me sees it, i will just DIE.
stupid thing.
oh, haha.
xiangting gave me a heartattack last night when she tagged my board.
eeyer.
haaa, at least she tagged like mad afterwards and now my tagboard is bombarded with all those random sentences like 'i see shooting stars!' all under different names, since xiangting thinks it's wierd if it's all in her name.
i will miss her ultimate lameness so much.
haha
:D
just snipped off a large chunk of my fringe.
am already wondering if i just made a huge mistake.
ooh, i just remembered some stupid thing i told clare yonkies ago.
i told her that we had to grow our hair damn long so that when we're overseas and it's cold, our hair could double up as scarves.
HAHA.
i sound so deprived.
no wonder clare almost choked to death after i said that.
actually, okay.
i'll probably think of something as i go along.
oh, I STILL CAN'T FIND MY DIARY.
this is some very bad karma.
suppose somebody has it now.
reading it.
flipping it's sacred pages.
-slaps forehead.
ohhhhh.
here you, return my diary to me.
-glares.
i just don't know where the the goddamn thing is, dammit.
i want it back!
-whines.
it has a lot of pictures and essays and stuff in it.
oh, plus i wrote a lot of really maudlin crap in there.
if anybody but me sees it, i will just DIE.
stupid thing.
oh, haha.
xiangting gave me a heartattack last night when she tagged my board.
eeyer.
haaa, at least she tagged like mad afterwards and now my tagboard is bombarded with all those random sentences like 'i see shooting stars!' all under different names, since xiangting thinks it's wierd if it's all in her name.
i will miss her ultimate lameness so much.
haha
:D
just snipped off a large chunk of my fringe.
am already wondering if i just made a huge mistake.
ooh, i just remembered some stupid thing i told clare yonkies ago.
i told her that we had to grow our hair damn long so that when we're overseas and it's cold, our hair could double up as scarves.
HAHA.
i sound so deprived.
no wonder clare almost choked to death after i said that.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
i forgot.
there were a lot of stars last night.
the sky was very pretty.
not everyday (or night, as it is) do you see a sight like that.
i always converse with myself.
and i can actually keep myself very occupied when i do.
my conversations get so scintillating, sometimes i just can't sleep.
i wonder if i'm the only one.
probably am.
feeling a pang.
it's wierd.
somehow all my years of trying my darndest to be emotionally detached just fucked up on me.
i'm so jacked.
why do people have to have feelings?
phoon, right there with ya now.
behold the new lee with even less emotions.
let's hold hands and both be emotionless till the end of time.
i'm wearing your ring, phoon.
it's very nice.
i don't think i ever want to take it out.
maybe that's also because i seem to have misplaced the shiny silver box.
cannot risk losing the ring.
i view losing the first rock you get a sign of bad karma
(it's symbolic, you know)
did i mention that i'm very superstitious now?
my eyes feel wierd.
they're itchy and teary all the time.
and my nose is always bleeding.
everything's screwing up on me.
TA. MA. DE.
like charlotte said yesterday.
it's sad when you're jaded at 16.
i think i need to start telling myself that i've got some serious problems going around with me.
i'm just getting too caught up in the moment.
breathe steady, think deep.
this is what i want.
this is what i need.
hey, that rhymes.
ha ha.
there were a lot of stars last night.
the sky was very pretty.
not everyday (or night, as it is) do you see a sight like that.
i always converse with myself.
and i can actually keep myself very occupied when i do.
my conversations get so scintillating, sometimes i just can't sleep.
i wonder if i'm the only one.
probably am.
feeling a pang.
it's wierd.
somehow all my years of trying my darndest to be emotionally detached just fucked up on me.
i'm so jacked.
why do people have to have feelings?
phoon, right there with ya now.
behold the new lee with even less emotions.
let's hold hands and both be emotionless till the end of time.
i'm wearing your ring, phoon.
it's very nice.
i don't think i ever want to take it out.
maybe that's also because i seem to have misplaced the shiny silver box.
cannot risk losing the ring.
i view losing the first rock you get a sign of bad karma
(it's symbolic, you know)
did i mention that i'm very superstitious now?
my eyes feel wierd.
they're itchy and teary all the time.
and my nose is always bleeding.
everything's screwing up on me.
TA. MA. DE.
like charlotte said yesterday.
it's sad when you're jaded at 16.
i think i need to start telling myself that i've got some serious problems going around with me.
i'm just getting too caught up in the moment.
breathe steady, think deep.
this is what i want.
this is what i need.
hey, that rhymes.
ha ha.
Friday, January 21, 2005
HAPPY 17TH, CLARE!
:D
kissy kissy.
just came back from the bbq.
it was fine.
i like clare's sofa.
she's 17 and i'm barely 16.
everytime this year, i'll always be lamenting this.
i'm going to miss chinese tuition so much.
been going there since p6.
i really like my tutor.
today was supposed to be my last day.
but my tutor promised to treat my class to mac's on sunday for my farewell.
I'M SO THERE.
haha
(:
since this year's started, i've realised exactly how spoilt i am.
i mean, i always kinda knew that, but now i REALLY know.
i'm so waited on hand and foot.
maybe that's why going overseas like that by myself doesnt scare me a single bit.
when davis said today that if he had to go all by himself he'd probably be damned freaked, i just got zinged by this feeling that maybe i'm not scared at all because i am so pampered i can't even imagine what it possibly could be like.
i mean, yeah my dad's told me, my mom's told me.
but you have to really get ZINGED by it to get it.
not that i don't want to go now.
but i'm beginning to doubt if i can really do it.
okay, i know i can.
anybody can if they wanted to.
but shucks.
you know what i mean.
):
i wish i hadn't cancelled last year.
(it's not like i wanted to anyway)
if only clare was going with me.
i am so drained.
but i just had to come online.
should curb this habit.
it's quite bad, this addiction to coming online.
:D
kissy kissy.
just came back from the bbq.
it was fine.
i like clare's sofa.
she's 17 and i'm barely 16.
everytime this year, i'll always be lamenting this.
i'm going to miss chinese tuition so much.
been going there since p6.
i really like my tutor.
today was supposed to be my last day.
but my tutor promised to treat my class to mac's on sunday for my farewell.
I'M SO THERE.
haha
(:
since this year's started, i've realised exactly how spoilt i am.
i mean, i always kinda knew that, but now i REALLY know.
i'm so waited on hand and foot.
maybe that's why going overseas like that by myself doesnt scare me a single bit.
when davis said today that if he had to go all by himself he'd probably be damned freaked, i just got zinged by this feeling that maybe i'm not scared at all because i am so pampered i can't even imagine what it possibly could be like.
i mean, yeah my dad's told me, my mom's told me.
but you have to really get ZINGED by it to get it.
not that i don't want to go now.
but i'm beginning to doubt if i can really do it.
okay, i know i can.
anybody can if they wanted to.
but shucks.
you know what i mean.
):
i wish i hadn't cancelled last year.
(it's not like i wanted to anyway)
if only clare was going with me.
i am so drained.
but i just had to come online.
should curb this habit.
it's quite bad, this addiction to coming online.
we're doing my packing now.
OH. MY. GOD.
i can't believe i'm really really leaving.
keep feeling i still have unfinished business here.
like, you know.
stuff i haven't done.
this is really starting to make me feel like a terminal patient.
i just wonder what stuff i haven't done.
i bet it's all frivolous, you know.
like, things i can tick of at my fingertips are:
buying phoon's corset.
getting clare stuff.
talking to xiangting they all.
listening to more gossip from melissa.
oh, and telling daryl the scintillating gossip melissa told me that concerns him.
HAHAHA.
if melissa actually reads this, she's gonna flip.
-laughs.
at least even if she flips, i'll be gone before she can find me.
shucks, i suddenly wish i could be there when she finds me.
okay, i shouldn't say that.
will jinx myself.
be careful with what one says.
i'm very superstitious now.
and that brings me to another unfinished business.
i need to see steph and get my chicken.
AH, all that unfinished business.
somehow, it doesnt feel like i'm coming back in june.
actually, that's still a pretty long time.
i know this is what i want.
but it still feels funny finally leaving.
AYE CLARE, YOU LAH.
IF YOU WERE LEAVING WITH ME, I WOULDNT BE THIS WAY.
-snorts.
OH. MY. GOD.
i can't believe i'm really really leaving.
keep feeling i still have unfinished business here.
like, you know.
stuff i haven't done.
this is really starting to make me feel like a terminal patient.
i just wonder what stuff i haven't done.
i bet it's all frivolous, you know.
like, things i can tick of at my fingertips are:
buying phoon's corset.
getting clare stuff.
talking to xiangting they all.
listening to more gossip from melissa.
oh, and telling daryl the scintillating gossip melissa told me that concerns him.
HAHAHA.
if melissa actually reads this, she's gonna flip.
-laughs.
at least even if she flips, i'll be gone before she can find me.
shucks, i suddenly wish i could be there when she finds me.
okay, i shouldn't say that.
will jinx myself.
be careful with what one says.
i'm very superstitious now.
and that brings me to another unfinished business.
i need to see steph and get my chicken.
AH, all that unfinished business.
somehow, it doesnt feel like i'm coming back in june.
actually, that's still a pretty long time.
i know this is what i want.
but it still feels funny finally leaving.
AYE CLARE, YOU LAH.
IF YOU WERE LEAVING WITH ME, I WOULDNT BE THIS WAY.
-snorts.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
whaaa, was really high today.
went to school to do my withdrawal stuff.
was expecting some really draggy and scary stuff.
hopped to class, got my file, told everybody there i was quitting.
('quitting school' is currently my favourite phrase)
down to 4th level for jes's class.
jes wasn't there.
didn't deter me anyways, happily told some kid there to tell jes that i'm quitting school.
that done, down to 3rd level.
xinhui's class and xiangting'g class.
said my last goodbyes to xinhui, couldnt find xiangting.
BUT then i saw silin, alvernia and xiangting at the 1st level.
yelled down to them that i was quitting school.
haha, was typically just very happy.
announcing to anyone and everyone i recognised that i was quitting.
grabbed people and told them, "i'm quitting school! BYE!"
life is good.
all the stuff done with, had to get down to the grim stuff.
getting the withdrawal form.
thought i had to see brother paul.
didn't have to in the end.
thank bloody god for small favours.
haha, did see brother paul though.
i quickly hid behind a piano.
i feel like the poor, vulnerable and pathetic indigenous village people in the face of those scary large western powers when i see brother paul.
he represents all that is BIG, WESTERN and INTIMIDATING.
hoho.
got my withdrawal.
liberation!
strutted jauntily out of the front gate.
so guang ming zhen da.
I FELT SO GOOD.
ha ha ha.
then made use of my newly learnt skill, and i took the bus home!
:D
i'm a happy camper.
had a hectic day though.
thoroughly exhausted now.
applying for the visa was nerve-wrecking.
this other guy was there too.
he was ahead of me.
he's got a scholarship to westminster.
fucking genius.
it reminded me of that faker justin han.
-laughs.
am really tired now.
i didn't like having my x-ray taken.
felt so violated.
plus that robe stank to high heavens.
aren't clinics supposed to be clean, dammit.
will miss everyone so much.
to all those cj people who made my life live-able, I LOVE YOU ALL.
really.
i even love the whole of xinhui's class.
every single one of them.
because crashing their class was the one thing that kept me alive during breaks.
i love the whole bunch of our stnicks people most of whom i hadn't talked to until last week.
kept me alive during cca time (even if i didnt exactly have a cca)
melissa was nice to bitch and gossip with.
i sure won't forget her.
(:
oh, and i really wonder why didn't someone like teach me my bus route earlier.
somehow the walk from the bus-stop to the gate is really nice.
the wind is so good.
or maybe it's cos my spirits were high.
:D
-jumps around.
went to school to do my withdrawal stuff.
was expecting some really draggy and scary stuff.
hopped to class, got my file, told everybody there i was quitting.
('quitting school' is currently my favourite phrase)
down to 4th level for jes's class.
jes wasn't there.
didn't deter me anyways, happily told some kid there to tell jes that i'm quitting school.
that done, down to 3rd level.
xinhui's class and xiangting'g class.
said my last goodbyes to xinhui, couldnt find xiangting.
BUT then i saw silin, alvernia and xiangting at the 1st level.
yelled down to them that i was quitting school.
haha, was typically just very happy.
announcing to anyone and everyone i recognised that i was quitting.
grabbed people and told them, "i'm quitting school! BYE!"
life is good.
all the stuff done with, had to get down to the grim stuff.
getting the withdrawal form.
thought i had to see brother paul.
didn't have to in the end.
thank bloody god for small favours.
haha, did see brother paul though.
i quickly hid behind a piano.
i feel like the poor, vulnerable and pathetic indigenous village people in the face of those scary large western powers when i see brother paul.
he represents all that is BIG, WESTERN and INTIMIDATING.
hoho.
got my withdrawal.
liberation!
strutted jauntily out of the front gate.
so guang ming zhen da.
I FELT SO GOOD.
ha ha ha.
then made use of my newly learnt skill, and i took the bus home!
:D
i'm a happy camper.
had a hectic day though.
thoroughly exhausted now.
applying for the visa was nerve-wrecking.
this other guy was there too.
he was ahead of me.
he's got a scholarship to westminster.
fucking genius.
it reminded me of that faker justin han.
-laughs.
am really tired now.
i didn't like having my x-ray taken.
felt so violated.
plus that robe stank to high heavens.
aren't clinics supposed to be clean, dammit.
will miss everyone so much.
to all those cj people who made my life live-able, I LOVE YOU ALL.
really.
i even love the whole of xinhui's class.
every single one of them.
because crashing their class was the one thing that kept me alive during breaks.
i love the whole bunch of our stnicks people most of whom i hadn't talked to until last week.
kept me alive during cca time (even if i didnt exactly have a cca)
melissa was nice to bitch and gossip with.
i sure won't forget her.
(:
oh, and i really wonder why didn't someone like teach me my bus route earlier.
somehow the walk from the bus-stop to the gate is really nice.
the wind is so good.
or maybe it's cos my spirits were high.
:D
-jumps around.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
have just completed my expenditure proposal for my dad.
i'm not very good at this.
my mom is sorting through my stuff.
some of them, i haven't yet seen before.
this is really it.
a few days more, and i'm gone.
am happy, very happy.
but kinda .. sad too.
oh well, pre-leaving jitters i guess.
am REALLY going to miss everyone immensely.
like, i suddenly love everyone.
like really EVERYONE.
i love so many people, i can't even remember all.
haha, shucks.
i am so sincere.
haven't seen so many people in yonks.
charlotte i haven't seen since grad.
imagine that.
charlotte, my love for you is tan90
:D
am learning your lingo well, aren't i?
haha.
ugh,
now i have to write the withdrawal letter to brother paul.
and i'll have to pass it to him tommorrow.
am rather fidgety now.
yikes.
i'm not very good at this.
my mom is sorting through my stuff.
some of them, i haven't yet seen before.
this is really it.
a few days more, and i'm gone.
am happy, very happy.
but kinda .. sad too.
oh well, pre-leaving jitters i guess.
am REALLY going to miss everyone immensely.
like, i suddenly love everyone.
like really EVERYONE.
i love so many people, i can't even remember all.
haha, shucks.
i am so sincere.
haven't seen so many people in yonks.
charlotte i haven't seen since grad.
imagine that.
charlotte, my love for you is tan90
:D
am learning your lingo well, aren't i?
haha.
ugh,
now i have to write the withdrawal letter to brother paul.
and i'll have to pass it to him tommorrow.
am rather fidgety now.
yikes.
okay, was actually rather grouchy today.
one thing i can't stand, it's plain stupidity.
not just stupidity, but that kind of utter thickness that really pisses the living fuck outta me.
these people can never appreciate the finer things in life.
how unfortunate for them.
cultureless barbarians.
-spits in contempt.
OH, but anyway, things got a whole lot better after school.
our history teacher forgot to come to our class until the last five mins.
so we practically had a free period.
then after that, school ended.
at 1pm.
bleedin' slack lah, today.
sat around and listened the phantom of the opera soundtrack on manyan's mp3 for one hour.
then off to find silin, alvernia, xiangting they all.
i think melissa (who i have never spoke to till last friday) is humongously interesting to talk to.
nice fellow-gossiper.
not like that xiangting.
just sit and listen only.
haha (:
was supposed to stay back for shooting, but there wasnt shooting today.
so alvernia left.
then xiangting, silin and melissa convinced me to join volleyball.
but turns out we couldnt join.
so for the rest of the afternoon, we sat at the grand stand and talked.
i think the only good point about cj is the grand stand.
it's the one and only redeeming point.
really really nice and windy.
haha, had a damned good time bitching non-stop with melissa.
i don't think i've talked so much since school started.
was a relatively good day today.
AND IT GOT MUCH BETTER.
when my mom collected me from school, she told me i'd gotten my college acceptance.
hallelujah! praise the lord!
goodbye cj, HELLO ctc
:D
only it really felt very sudden.
will miss everyone velly mucho.
from clare, bri, PHOON, charlotte, amanda, jes, karen, eileen,
to xiangting, silin, melissa, xinhui, yifang.
hahaha, am naming all the company i rely on in cj and the other dearly beloveds.
OH, I LOVE ALL OF YOU.
will have to go back stnicks too to see eliza and steph.
and get my chicken from steph too.
it's going to be my good luck charm, that chicken.
oh, and orange bowl too.
will have to stuff myself silly.
haha (:
one thing i can't stand, it's plain stupidity.
not just stupidity, but that kind of utter thickness that really pisses the living fuck outta me.
these people can never appreciate the finer things in life.
how unfortunate for them.
cultureless barbarians.
-spits in contempt.
OH, but anyway, things got a whole lot better after school.
our history teacher forgot to come to our class until the last five mins.
so we practically had a free period.
then after that, school ended.
at 1pm.
bleedin' slack lah, today.
sat around and listened the phantom of the opera soundtrack on manyan's mp3 for one hour.
then off to find silin, alvernia, xiangting they all.
i think melissa (who i have never spoke to till last friday) is humongously interesting to talk to.
nice fellow-gossiper.
not like that xiangting.
just sit and listen only.
haha (:
was supposed to stay back for shooting, but there wasnt shooting today.
so alvernia left.
then xiangting, silin and melissa convinced me to join volleyball.
but turns out we couldnt join.
so for the rest of the afternoon, we sat at the grand stand and talked.
i think the only good point about cj is the grand stand.
it's the one and only redeeming point.
really really nice and windy.
haha, had a damned good time bitching non-stop with melissa.
i don't think i've talked so much since school started.
was a relatively good day today.
AND IT GOT MUCH BETTER.
when my mom collected me from school, she told me i'd gotten my college acceptance.
hallelujah! praise the lord!
goodbye cj, HELLO ctc
:D
only it really felt very sudden.
will miss everyone velly mucho.
from clare, bri, PHOON, charlotte, amanda, jes, karen, eileen,
to xiangting, silin, melissa, xinhui, yifang.
hahaha, am naming all the company i rely on in cj and the other dearly beloveds.
OH, I LOVE ALL OF YOU.
will have to go back stnicks too to see eliza and steph.
and get my chicken from steph too.
it's going to be my good luck charm, that chicken.
oh, and orange bowl too.
will have to stuff myself silly.
haha (:
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
okay, am blogging again.
i should really go find my stupid notebook so i'll stop resorting to blogger as my confidante and keep having to stop saying some of the things i want to say because those infomation go under the title saying "classified".
haha, am bitching with phoon now.
well, actually, i'm doing the bitching and phoon's listening.
feeling so much better.
okay, felt so bad a moment ago i went to fix myself a drink.
(we just got a whole load of different liquers and spirits recently)
so did phoon.
so we're kinda having a conversation break now.
so anyway, my first choice was kahlua.
it looked so good and exotic and hawaiian.
fixed myself a bit with the brandy glass.
but pleahh.
too damn sweet.
so i fed it to my window sill cactus.
the lucky plant.
found my mozart white choc.
it's damn nice.
gives new meaning to choc liquer.
everyone should get it.
i think it was bought in australia.
phoon is drinking tia maria on the rocks.
she says its damn nice.
i would get it, except i dont want to walk all the way to the bar counter again.
haha, my god.
i can't believe i'm writing this.
sounds so poseur.
haha.
oh well, what better way to drown our sorrows?
but wait, phoon doesnt have any sorrows.
unless she counts her having to wear an eyepatch for the time being (poor dear is convinced she is disfigured for life)
oh, i am so sad.
i want to be in ctc now.
):
okay, tonight, phoon is teaching me about getting tipsy.
she says you get woozy and sad.
so funny.
i thought tipsy people were always happy.
i never got tipsy.
so lousy.
i didnt even turn pink after downing five shots of that super strong chinese liquor in china.
so worrying.
i don't think my liver works.
my sister thinks so too.
):
i need a liver transplant.
shucks.
now, phoon and i are drowing our sorrows together.
i am holding my glass up to my computer screen since we aren't face to face.
cheers, phoon.
i should really go find my stupid notebook so i'll stop resorting to blogger as my confidante and keep having to stop saying some of the things i want to say because those infomation go under the title saying "classified".
haha, am bitching with phoon now.
well, actually, i'm doing the bitching and phoon's listening.
feeling so much better.
okay, felt so bad a moment ago i went to fix myself a drink.
(we just got a whole load of different liquers and spirits recently)
so did phoon.
so we're kinda having a conversation break now.
so anyway, my first choice was kahlua.
it looked so good and exotic and hawaiian.
fixed myself a bit with the brandy glass.
but pleahh.
too damn sweet.
so i fed it to my window sill cactus.
the lucky plant.
found my mozart white choc.
it's damn nice.
gives new meaning to choc liquer.
everyone should get it.
i think it was bought in australia.
phoon is drinking tia maria on the rocks.
she says its damn nice.
i would get it, except i dont want to walk all the way to the bar counter again.
haha, my god.
i can't believe i'm writing this.
sounds so poseur.
haha.
oh well, what better way to drown our sorrows?
but wait, phoon doesnt have any sorrows.
unless she counts her having to wear an eyepatch for the time being (poor dear is convinced she is disfigured for life)
oh, i am so sad.
i want to be in ctc now.
):
okay, tonight, phoon is teaching me about getting tipsy.
she says you get woozy and sad.
so funny.
i thought tipsy people were always happy.
i never got tipsy.
so lousy.
i didnt even turn pink after downing five shots of that super strong chinese liquor in china.
so worrying.
i don't think my liver works.
my sister thinks so too.
):
i need a liver transplant.
shucks.
now, phoon and i are drowing our sorrows together.
i am holding my glass up to my computer screen since we aren't face to face.
cheers, phoon.
today, i finally learnt how to take the bus home.
HAHA.
i am enlightened!
i am empowered!
ah, sheesh.
never knew there was an underpass near my house.
and i've been living here all my life.
am such a failure, i know.
haha.
i do not want to go back to cjc.
not for any specific reason.
just that i don't want to.
heart is breaking now ):
ctc has officially started their school year.
and my nice senior was looking and couldnt find me (well, duh)
am horribly depressed.
every call my mom gets, i'm hoping its james loh telling me that i can book those plane tickets.
OH, CALL ME NOW JAMES LOH!! NOW.
):
i want to go to ctc now.
like, so my life can re-start again.
it's like floundering now.
i dont have to listen to classes, but i have to.
get it?
and like, there's a killer history test tommorrow.
one which i rightfully shouldnt have to take.
maybe i should just stop quibbling with myself and just march right up to the office for the withdrawal form tommorrow.
then tommorrow will be my last day.
oh, bliss.
if it happens, that is.
BAH.
okay? BAH BAH BAH.
that's all i really want to say now.
I SHOULD BE IN CTC NOW.
NOT BLOODY REJOICING BECAUSE I'VE LEARNT HOW TO COME HOME FROM CJC.
NOT DYING OVER LIT TUTORIALS.
NOT WORRYING ABOUT HISTORY READINGS.
NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH CJC AND ALL THE PEOPLE IN IT.
(well, okay. not ALL the people, since there are some i'm very fond of)
okay, i am just drowning in my own sorrow.
HAHA.
i am enlightened!
i am empowered!
ah, sheesh.
never knew there was an underpass near my house.
and i've been living here all my life.
am such a failure, i know.
haha.
i do not want to go back to cjc.
not for any specific reason.
just that i don't want to.
heart is breaking now ):
ctc has officially started their school year.
and my nice senior was looking and couldnt find me (well, duh)
am horribly depressed.
every call my mom gets, i'm hoping its james loh telling me that i can book those plane tickets.
OH, CALL ME NOW JAMES LOH!! NOW.
):
i want to go to ctc now.
like, so my life can re-start again.
it's like floundering now.
i dont have to listen to classes, but i have to.
get it?
and like, there's a killer history test tommorrow.
one which i rightfully shouldnt have to take.
maybe i should just stop quibbling with myself and just march right up to the office for the withdrawal form tommorrow.
then tommorrow will be my last day.
oh, bliss.
if it happens, that is.
BAH.
okay? BAH BAH BAH.
that's all i really want to say now.
I SHOULD BE IN CTC NOW.
NOT BLOODY REJOICING BECAUSE I'VE LEARNT HOW TO COME HOME FROM CJC.
NOT DYING OVER LIT TUTORIALS.
NOT WORRYING ABOUT HISTORY READINGS.
NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH CJC AND ALL THE PEOPLE IN IT.
(well, okay. not ALL the people, since there are some i'm very fond of)
okay, i am just drowning in my own sorrow.
Monday, January 17, 2005
i like talking to phoon.
i feel so enlightened after talking to her.
she's now telling me the ranks of her conquests out of ten.
ten being the toughest to get.
HAHA.
am lovin' that the person i detest most was a 2
a 2, okay!!
that's when 1 means 'fuck before becoming stead' according to phoon.
haha, that easy little slut.
-laughs meanly.
okay, that was very mean.
but i've been so deprived of bitching since this year started.
i will allow myself to be horrifyingly mean now.
and that's all the mean stuff i was gonna say anyway.
my god, i have SO changed for the better.
:D
i love phoonty so much!
-squeals.
haha.
she is so funny.
every night i talk to her, she's changed a love target.
boy do i miss her.
especially since i delight in all her escapades.
funny how we get along so much better when we're on different continents.
haha, eighty years from now, when i'm old, wrinkled, and almost crumbling into dust, i will very proudly tell my grandkids of my dear friend phoon who was so amazingly good at getting people she wanted.
can see it already.
me crouching in a rocking chair with a whole bunch of little (good-looking) kids gazing at me with open mouths while i creak out in my old, wavering little whine and wave my withered finger in the air telling the story of phoon.
and the moral of the story would be, ''phoonty wants, phoonty gets."
HAHAHAH.
and all the little kids will nod their heads in amazement and vow to be like her.
:D
so cute.
oh, crud.
i am musing.
and musing here is also very mushy.
how embarrassing.
haha.
:D
i feel so enlightened after talking to her.
she's now telling me the ranks of her conquests out of ten.
ten being the toughest to get.
HAHA.
am lovin' that the person i detest most was a 2
a 2, okay!!
that's when 1 means 'fuck before becoming stead' according to phoon.
haha, that easy little slut.
-laughs meanly.
okay, that was very mean.
but i've been so deprived of bitching since this year started.
i will allow myself to be horrifyingly mean now.
and that's all the mean stuff i was gonna say anyway.
my god, i have SO changed for the better.
:D
i love phoonty so much!
-squeals.
haha.
she is so funny.
every night i talk to her, she's changed a love target.
boy do i miss her.
especially since i delight in all her escapades.
funny how we get along so much better when we're on different continents.
haha, eighty years from now, when i'm old, wrinkled, and almost crumbling into dust, i will very proudly tell my grandkids of my dear friend phoon who was so amazingly good at getting people she wanted.
can see it already.
me crouching in a rocking chair with a whole bunch of little (good-looking) kids gazing at me with open mouths while i creak out in my old, wavering little whine and wave my withered finger in the air telling the story of phoon.
and the moral of the story would be, ''phoonty wants, phoonty gets."
HAHAHAH.
and all the little kids will nod their heads in amazement and vow to be like her.
:D
so cute.
oh, crud.
i am musing.
and musing here is also very mushy.
how embarrassing.
haha.
:D
am so shagged.
they changed the timetable.
so instead of ending at 3, we could only leave school at 4 30.
bugger.
at least there wasn't pe today.
BUT, there's double pe tommorrow.
so that really isn't any better.
i hate pe.
i don't understand how anyone can run more than 2.4km and not die.
heck, i dont understand how people can even think of running so much.
like, what's the deal?
you run and run, for WHAT?
so senseless, these runners.
but i still admire them.
daryl told me today he joined cross country.
like, wow.
i mean, there's a reason they call it cross country right?
like, you have to run so much it's like .. crossing a country.
and like, a country is big. (at least, i think they should be)
so WOW, that's a lot of running you have to do.
am thoroughly impressed.
do not understand it much, but still impressed anyway.
okay, enough with my warped logic.
think i'm gonna join shooting.
i still think guns are cool.
fact that i already know there are st nicks people joining shooting makes it even better.
now, they just have to tell me it's only once a week and i'm SO there.
i am such a slacker.
(:
okay, am sad.
just thought of this.
should rightfully be attending my first class in england now.
):
am really sad.
this is such a boring entry.
OH, my mom brought me to some MPH sale yesterday.
so now i've got myself 3 huge bags full of books.
the thought of it makes me happy.
am such a bookworm
:D
then my mom dragged me to the robinson's sale to buy winter clothing.
i hereby declare that robinson's has the ugliest winter clothing around.
most of them jackets, you can totally imagine on a spitting chinaman.
yuck.
i think i will just go to a|x and topshop to look-see instead.
saw a corset.
thought of phoon.
but the corset was so repulsive i couldnt even bear looking at it.
so oh well, will have to look elsewhere for phoon's corset.
oh, but phoon?
i am NOT going to a sex shop to get it.
does singapore even have a sex shop anyway?
didn't think singaporeans would be interested.
we have the lowest sexual activity rate in the world, you know?
like, once a week on average only.
haha, bit of trivia for all
:D
and charlotte, do you realise that the last time i saw you face to face was during grad?
and grad is like a decade away already.
WE REALLY SHOULD MEET UP.
i miss you and your remarks immensely.
):
they changed the timetable.
so instead of ending at 3, we could only leave school at 4 30.
bugger.
at least there wasn't pe today.
BUT, there's double pe tommorrow.
so that really isn't any better.
i hate pe.
i don't understand how anyone can run more than 2.4km and not die.
heck, i dont understand how people can even think of running so much.
like, what's the deal?
you run and run, for WHAT?
so senseless, these runners.
but i still admire them.
daryl told me today he joined cross country.
like, wow.
i mean, there's a reason they call it cross country right?
like, you have to run so much it's like .. crossing a country.
and like, a country is big. (at least, i think they should be)
so WOW, that's a lot of running you have to do.
am thoroughly impressed.
do not understand it much, but still impressed anyway.
okay, enough with my warped logic.
think i'm gonna join shooting.
i still think guns are cool.
fact that i already know there are st nicks people joining shooting makes it even better.
now, they just have to tell me it's only once a week and i'm SO there.
i am such a slacker.
(:
okay, am sad.
just thought of this.
should rightfully be attending my first class in england now.
):
am really sad.
this is such a boring entry.
OH, my mom brought me to some MPH sale yesterday.
so now i've got myself 3 huge bags full of books.
the thought of it makes me happy.
am such a bookworm
:D
then my mom dragged me to the robinson's sale to buy winter clothing.
i hereby declare that robinson's has the ugliest winter clothing around.
most of them jackets, you can totally imagine on a spitting chinaman.
yuck.
i think i will just go to a|x and topshop to look-see instead.
saw a corset.
thought of phoon.
but the corset was so repulsive i couldnt even bear looking at it.
so oh well, will have to look elsewhere for phoon's corset.
oh, but phoon?
i am NOT going to a sex shop to get it.
does singapore even have a sex shop anyway?
didn't think singaporeans would be interested.
we have the lowest sexual activity rate in the world, you know?
like, once a week on average only.
haha, bit of trivia for all
:D
and charlotte, do you realise that the last time i saw you face to face was during grad?
and grad is like a decade away already.
WE REALLY SHOULD MEET UP.
i miss you and your remarks immensely.
):
Sunday, January 16, 2005
i've become addicted to coming online.
should stop that.
have nothing to do when i come online anyway.
i'm still coughing after weeks of taking cough syrup.
what's this, man.
stupid cough syrup.
only been helping my insomnia.
drat the damn thing.
plus i wake up every morning and my throat's dry as hell.
should stop taking it already.
will miss the ability to sleep easily though.
the weekend is passing so quickly.
it's monday again tommorrow.
pardon me as i renew once again my declaration of hatred for cj.
i keep telling myself that i'm quitting soon just to let me live through day by day.
and actually, it doesnt matter even if i stop going now.
but i really need those econs tutorials and lectures for a headstart.
my mom doesnt want me to quit so fast either.
and i listen to my mommy all the time.
(i just don't want to admit that i don't really want to face his royal holiness, brother paul, that hulking white tent of bitchiness)
haha.
i want to go back to a girls' school.
i hate boys.
still cannot accept the fact that sometimes in lectures, the head blocking my view is that of a male's.
stupid tall boys with their even taller spikes on their stupid heads.
it just still seems so surreal.
):
am thinking that maybe i'm a closet lesbian.
phoon thinks so.
she wonders if i'll marry a man and proceed to have a torrid affair with my hot, tall russian maid.
(and that, i quote verbatim)
haha. oh, yuck.
the very thought of it.
-pulls face.
trust phoon to think up a situation so horrendously pornographic it actually becomes funny.
am feeling mightily doleful now.
oh well, have things to do.
might as well do them well as long as i'm still in cj.
should stop that.
have nothing to do when i come online anyway.
i'm still coughing after weeks of taking cough syrup.
what's this, man.
stupid cough syrup.
only been helping my insomnia.
drat the damn thing.
plus i wake up every morning and my throat's dry as hell.
should stop taking it already.
will miss the ability to sleep easily though.
the weekend is passing so quickly.
it's monday again tommorrow.
pardon me as i renew once again my declaration of hatred for cj.
i keep telling myself that i'm quitting soon just to let me live through day by day.
and actually, it doesnt matter even if i stop going now.
but i really need those econs tutorials and lectures for a headstart.
my mom doesnt want me to quit so fast either.
and i listen to my mommy all the time.
(i just don't want to admit that i don't really want to face his royal holiness, brother paul, that hulking white tent of bitchiness)
haha.
i want to go back to a girls' school.
i hate boys.
still cannot accept the fact that sometimes in lectures, the head blocking my view is that of a male's.
stupid tall boys with their even taller spikes on their stupid heads.
it just still seems so surreal.
):
am thinking that maybe i'm a closet lesbian.
phoon thinks so.
she wonders if i'll marry a man and proceed to have a torrid affair with my hot, tall russian maid.
(and that, i quote verbatim)
haha. oh, yuck.
the very thought of it.
-pulls face.
trust phoon to think up a situation so horrendously pornographic it actually becomes funny.
am feeling mightily doleful now.
oh well, have things to do.
might as well do them well as long as i'm still in cj.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
xiangting, you are such a cow.
look at my tagboard.
they are all mocking me.
-wails.
couldn't wake up today.
so in the end, was the late one while clare who i was convinced would be late was waiting for me.
oh well, haha.
damn the five day week.
clare and i were very rudely turned out of school.
then went to sji for judo.
sji is damn nice.
the library is the most goddamn beautiful thing i've ever seen.
if i were in that school, i'd be a librarian.
i think it's quite amazing how those big men do cartwheels like they're tiny, lithe gymnasts.
i never thought davis capable of all those movements either.
i must profess my surprise and admiration the next time i see him.
haha.
judo is not the sport for me.
too much contact.
plus the sounds from people hitting the mat is murderous.
even though the judo girl kept insisting it doesn't hurt at all, that's one thing i never want to find out.
wanted to stay to watch though, but karen and clare just plain threatened me and walked out.
so we went to marche and stuffed ourselves silly.
i went mad with grief there and started singing one night in beijing.
karen and clare were pretending not to know me.
then i folded an origami crane from the paper napkin.
clare and karen took their bags and prepared to take flight.
haha, i'm such an embarrassment sometimes.
i've bought my economics and history stuff!
will start reading them tommorrow.
am so proud of myself.
saw a picture of silin's guy.
really not bad.
i declare that she has good taste.
oh, and jiayun too.
since they discovered him together and like, decided to share him or something.
heh.
i talked to my old tuition friend on msn last night.
i know that sounds like its nothing much.
but she changed her email address and was actually on my list, except i didn't know it was her.
SO, it kinda felt like i'd found a long lost friend.
haha :D
look at my tagboard.
they are all mocking me.
-wails.
couldn't wake up today.
so in the end, was the late one while clare who i was convinced would be late was waiting for me.
oh well, haha.
damn the five day week.
clare and i were very rudely turned out of school.
then went to sji for judo.
sji is damn nice.
the library is the most goddamn beautiful thing i've ever seen.
if i were in that school, i'd be a librarian.
i think it's quite amazing how those big men do cartwheels like they're tiny, lithe gymnasts.
i never thought davis capable of all those movements either.
i must profess my surprise and admiration the next time i see him.
haha.
judo is not the sport for me.
too much contact.
plus the sounds from people hitting the mat is murderous.
even though the judo girl kept insisting it doesn't hurt at all, that's one thing i never want to find out.
wanted to stay to watch though, but karen and clare just plain threatened me and walked out.
so we went to marche and stuffed ourselves silly.
i went mad with grief there and started singing one night in beijing.
karen and clare were pretending not to know me.
then i folded an origami crane from the paper napkin.
clare and karen took their bags and prepared to take flight.
haha, i'm such an embarrassment sometimes.
i've bought my economics and history stuff!
will start reading them tommorrow.
am so proud of myself.
saw a picture of silin's guy.
really not bad.
i declare that she has good taste.
oh, and jiayun too.
since they discovered him together and like, decided to share him or something.
heh.
i talked to my old tuition friend on msn last night.
i know that sounds like its nothing much.
but she changed her email address and was actually on my list, except i didn't know it was her.
SO, it kinda felt like i'd found a long lost friend.
haha :D
Friday, January 14, 2005
cj makes me doubt myself.
it's bad for my mental health.
):
it's bad for my mental health.
):
clare is like totally dao-ing me now.
she has made new friends.
she has forgotten me.
puii.
today was fine.
as in REALLY FINE.
mostly lectures and not tutorials.
ended early too.
like, finally.
after school walked desolately to the bus stop.
156 is such a bitch.
it takes so long to come.
and i still don't understand how come i don't see my damn home when i take the bus.
it's supposed to stop somewhere near, okay.
PAH.
but anyways, just as i was assigning the stupid bus to hell, xiangting and company came up.
and they asked me if i wanted to go back to school with them.
like, OOH! of course.
:D
so we happily trooped off to stnicks.
i swear, i haven't been so happy since last week when i was in yj with clare who i officially proclaim the love of my life.
was like SO high.
been subdued and quiet all week in cj.
i swear cj saps my energy level.
i don't even feel like talking there.
so now, yeah everyone there thinks i'm the biggest loner and shy girl of the century.
but since i was with the much loved st nicks group, was talking nineteen to the dozens.
much more than i usually do in st nicks actually.
haha, i was just beaming all over the place.
i bet everyone was just as happy because we were all very jolly people today.
bitching about cj and the people in cj.
TOO FUN.
funny how it is that when you're in cj, it just sucks.
but when you talk about it, it's funny as hell.
i like the whole group of them.
shall persuade them to come back almost every week with me.
oh ):
something though.
something that was supposed to be a joke isnt really one anymore.
hopefully after a good night's sleep, it becomes a joke again.
and everyone who was in the group today and heard all my wailing and ranting and whining, NOT A WORD to anyone, ya'll hear?
-glares fiercely.
i hope at least one of them reads my blog.
):
am currently wailing and complaining to clare.
clare just keeps telling me," ni wan le, ni wan le."
THANKS LAH.
what a bitch life is sometimes.
this isn't funny anymore.
-spits.
oh well, was still pretty much a decent day today.
i miss st nicks so much.
am going for judo tommorrow.
ooh (:
haha, i hope it's fun.
if not, i'll just slip out and go to town.
she has made new friends.
she has forgotten me.
puii.
today was fine.
as in REALLY FINE.
mostly lectures and not tutorials.
ended early too.
like, finally.
after school walked desolately to the bus stop.
156 is such a bitch.
it takes so long to come.
and i still don't understand how come i don't see my damn home when i take the bus.
it's supposed to stop somewhere near, okay.
PAH.
but anyways, just as i was assigning the stupid bus to hell, xiangting and company came up.
and they asked me if i wanted to go back to school with them.
like, OOH! of course.
:D
so we happily trooped off to stnicks.
i swear, i haven't been so happy since last week when i was in yj with clare who i officially proclaim the love of my life.
was like SO high.
been subdued and quiet all week in cj.
i swear cj saps my energy level.
i don't even feel like talking there.
so now, yeah everyone there thinks i'm the biggest loner and shy girl of the century.
but since i was with the much loved st nicks group, was talking nineteen to the dozens.
much more than i usually do in st nicks actually.
haha, i was just beaming all over the place.
i bet everyone was just as happy because we were all very jolly people today.
bitching about cj and the people in cj.
TOO FUN.
funny how it is that when you're in cj, it just sucks.
but when you talk about it, it's funny as hell.
i like the whole group of them.
shall persuade them to come back almost every week with me.
oh ):
something though.
something that was supposed to be a joke isnt really one anymore.
hopefully after a good night's sleep, it becomes a joke again.
and everyone who was in the group today and heard all my wailing and ranting and whining, NOT A WORD to anyone, ya'll hear?
-glares fiercely.
i hope at least one of them reads my blog.
):
am currently wailing and complaining to clare.
clare just keeps telling me," ni wan le, ni wan le."
THANKS LAH.
what a bitch life is sometimes.
this isn't funny anymore.
-spits.
oh well, was still pretty much a decent day today.
i miss st nicks so much.
am going for judo tommorrow.
ooh (:
haha, i hope it's fun.
if not, i'll just slip out and go to town.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
having a totally amusing and frivolous conversation with phoon now.
so anyway, we were talking about how we must remain friends for always.
and like i've said before, i HAVE to be at phoon's wedding.
have to see what kind of superman can love and marry phoon for eternity.
(well, at least we hope it's for eternity)
and phoon also wants to see what kind of man can stand my cynicsm.
and then, i decided that my future son (who's gonna be very hot) is going to marry phoon's daughter (who is going to be very pretty).
and now, i proudly and officially proclaim that my son and phoon's daughter are BETROTHED.
haha (:
phoon says this:"gee, i m looking forward to telling my daughter that i betrothed her to ur son over msn."
YEAH, me too.
-laughs.
phoon and i are currently discussing the man who should be the creator of my future god-daughter cum daughter-in-law .
phoon has lousy taste.
all her candidates are only suitable for recreation, NOT procreation.
girl, -complains.
this is serious business, man!
i'm gonna have a heart to heart talk with phoon to educate her on making the right choices.
-grim.
hahahah.
phoon is teaching me how to woo people.
it seems like very tiring business.
too many steps.
so much trouble.
i've changed my mind about wanting to woo people.
(:
phoon says my taste is as bad as her's.
HAHA.
HIGH FIVE, PHOON!
i so totally agree.
and i hardly ever give phoon the satisfaction of agreeing with her.
so anyway, we were talking about how we must remain friends for always.
and like i've said before, i HAVE to be at phoon's wedding.
have to see what kind of superman can love and marry phoon for eternity.
(well, at least we hope it's for eternity)
and phoon also wants to see what kind of man can stand my cynicsm.
and then, i decided that my future son (who's gonna be very hot) is going to marry phoon's daughter (who is going to be very pretty).
and now, i proudly and officially proclaim that my son and phoon's daughter are BETROTHED.
haha (:
phoon says this:"gee, i m looking forward to telling my daughter that i betrothed her to ur son over msn."
YEAH, me too.
-laughs.
phoon and i are currently discussing the man who should be the creator of my future god-daughter cum daughter-in-law .
phoon has lousy taste.
all her candidates are only suitable for recreation, NOT procreation.
girl, -complains.
this is serious business, man!
i'm gonna have a heart to heart talk with phoon to educate her on making the right choices.
-grim.
hahahah.
phoon is teaching me how to woo people.
it seems like very tiring business.
too many steps.
so much trouble.
i've changed my mind about wanting to woo people.
(:
phoon says my taste is as bad as her's.
HAHA.
HIGH FIVE, PHOON!
i so totally agree.
and i hardly ever give phoon the satisfaction of agreeing with her.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
i'm going mad.
i have no one to talk to.
and i am so screwed for history tmr.
cannot find nuts for stages of imperialism.
fuck it.
i am blogging twice everyday.
so loser.
but then again, what have i done this year that hasn't been the definition of loser?
was just talking to clare and recounting some things to her.
and i couldnt even remember what things happened on which day.
so i'll be like, "so anyways, that day, i forgot which day ..." for every damn thing i'm trying to say.
and that's really sad, because as clare points out so aptly,
"lee, how many days have you been there? you've been there only 5+3-3 .. 5 days."
see, my days are all so miserable, they are merging into one huge tragic nightmare.
i can't tell day one from two.
matter of fact, i don't happen to know the day and date today.
was re-reading last entry.
come to think of it, am quite grateful that my class hasn't got any gorgeous individuals.
there won't be any unbalancing of my equilibrium then.
good thing, that.
clare isn't gonna call back.
i just know it.
that despicable, lying little rat.
i have no one to talk to.
and i am so screwed for history tmr.
cannot find nuts for stages of imperialism.
fuck it.
i am blogging twice everyday.
so loser.
but then again, what have i done this year that hasn't been the definition of loser?
was just talking to clare and recounting some things to her.
and i couldnt even remember what things happened on which day.
so i'll be like, "so anyways, that day, i forgot which day ..." for every damn thing i'm trying to say.
and that's really sad, because as clare points out so aptly,
"lee, how many days have you been there? you've been there only 5+3-3 .. 5 days."
see, my days are all so miserable, they are merging into one huge tragic nightmare.
i can't tell day one from two.
matter of fact, i don't happen to know the day and date today.
was re-reading last entry.
come to think of it, am quite grateful that my class hasn't got any gorgeous individuals.
there won't be any unbalancing of my equilibrium then.
good thing, that.
clare isn't gonna call back.
i just know it.
that despicable, lying little rat.
i have made a resolution to stop being a whiny prick about CJ. (whether i can keep to it is another matter)
still gonna say i detest it though.
went for shooting club today!
(GUNS ARE COOL)
haha, the rifle was shit heavy.
and they made us do a test on safety precautions that i was completely clueless about.
thank goodness yimin the shooting goddess of npcc was right in front of me.
copying field day.
like, so many people were there at shooting club.
daphne and xiangting and yimin were all there
cheered me up immensely.
i miss xiangting and all her stupid lame riddles.
):
oh yeah, audrey was there too.
was so afraid she would try to shoot me.
clare told me to run and hide.
haha.
davis convinced me to go see judo on saturday.
haha, sounds quite fun.
even though davis said they'll teach you how to fall only.
xin gave me a heartattack just now.
am still recovering from it.
(yifang and her evil grins make me shiver)
i will not let anybody come between me and me going home early.
-grim.
have a ton of homework
have dad to see later.
wish me luck.
on msn with clare bri and phoon.
sharing our day's events.
haha, i miss them all.
i find i cannot remember a lot of names.
very embarrassing, when i need to ask people things.
wish i had eyecandy ):
want to crash rj with charlotte next thursday.
but cj is so goddarn strict about absentees.
other schools dont even care much,
dont see why a lousy jc like cj have to be so anal over it.
puii.
i hate cj.
still gonna say i detest it though.
went for shooting club today!
(GUNS ARE COOL)
haha, the rifle was shit heavy.
and they made us do a test on safety precautions that i was completely clueless about.
thank goodness yimin the shooting goddess of npcc was right in front of me.
copying field day.
like, so many people were there at shooting club.
daphne and xiangting and yimin were all there
cheered me up immensely.
i miss xiangting and all her stupid lame riddles.
):
oh yeah, audrey was there too.
was so afraid she would try to shoot me.
clare told me to run and hide.
haha.
davis convinced me to go see judo on saturday.
haha, sounds quite fun.
even though davis said they'll teach you how to fall only.
xin gave me a heartattack just now.
am still recovering from it.
(yifang and her evil grins make me shiver)
i will not let anybody come between me and me going home early.
-grim.
have a ton of homework
have dad to see later.
wish me luck.
on msn with clare bri and phoon.
sharing our day's events.
haha, i miss them all.
i find i cannot remember a lot of names.
very embarrassing, when i need to ask people things.
wish i had eyecandy ):
want to crash rj with charlotte next thursday.
but cj is so goddarn strict about absentees.
other schools dont even care much,
dont see why a lousy jc like cj have to be so anal over it.
puii.
i hate cj.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
something just occured to me.
do i know anyone in rj?
am suddenly very intrigued by that.
do i, do i, do i?
just read qiaoying's blog (see what i mean by voracious reading?)
i like her description of ny.
i recommend it to everyone.
very funny.
ha ha.
i think i should go find out if anyone i know is in rj.
would be so cool if i did.
please let there be at least ONE person whom i know of who's in rj.
shucks, even if so, still cannot act cool and say something to the effect of:
"i miss A and B, my two rafflesian friends!! hope they are having a damned nice time in raffles junior college!!"
if only.
i like to feel smart by association.
hoho! i proudly proclaim that my old tuition friend caiyu is in hcjc.
hwa chong, man.
don't play-play.
look at me beam in pride.
this is so pathetic.
i'm a cj worm trying to associate with shining examples of humanity.
bah, humbug.
do i know anyone in rj?
am suddenly very intrigued by that.
do i, do i, do i?
just read qiaoying's blog (see what i mean by voracious reading?)
i like her description of ny.
i recommend it to everyone.
very funny.
ha ha.
i think i should go find out if anyone i know is in rj.
would be so cool if i did.
please let there be at least ONE person whom i know of who's in rj.
shucks, even if so, still cannot act cool and say something to the effect of:
"i miss A and B, my two rafflesian friends!! hope they are having a damned nice time in raffles junior college!!"
if only.
i like to feel smart by association.
hoho! i proudly proclaim that my old tuition friend caiyu is in hcjc.
hwa chong, man.
don't play-play.
look at me beam in pride.
this is so pathetic.
i'm a cj worm trying to associate with shining examples of humanity.
bah, humbug.
another normal day in catholic junior college.
i detest tutorials.
lectures are the way to go!
nice seats, (the lecture theatre for lit today was lovely) cool air.
and best of all, no talking.
minimizes contact and interaction.
not that i am adverse to interaction.
just that, i am officially a complete LOSER.
and if no one else can talk, all the better for me, because then i wouldn't stick out like a sore loser thumb.
this is my life.
how much sadder can it get really?
horrifying PE.
thank god for davis telling me before the procedure and scaring me enough to have me skip today's.
also, thank you lord for letting me really be sick, therefore saving me from the trouble of lying.
PE is scary.
the girls have to do pushups.
where is the world coming to?
i always thought of pushups as a solely male exercise.
how i detest gender equality.
down on feminism!
just think, if we still followed the old 'females stay at home' rule, then no PE!
and no cjc.
okay, a bit out of point.
ANYWAY, have not changed my mind about cj.
and i dont think i ever will.
and i love wendy's account about the sad person in her class who cycles to town.
brightened up my day for the moment there.
i wait patiently for the day that i am out of cj.
no.
actually, i will not wait patiently.
i will rush it.
hurry come already, will you?
-mutters.
saw andrea in cj today.
cant believe she doesnt like yj.
was suggesting to her to take my place while i take her's and i can go to yj, of which i feel happier in.
hear this, I LOVE YJ.
YISHUN JUNIOR COLLEGE.
):
i detest tutorials.
lectures are the way to go!
nice seats, (the lecture theatre for lit today was lovely) cool air.
and best of all, no talking.
minimizes contact and interaction.
not that i am adverse to interaction.
just that, i am officially a complete LOSER.
and if no one else can talk, all the better for me, because then i wouldn't stick out like a sore loser thumb.
this is my life.
how much sadder can it get really?
horrifying PE.
thank god for davis telling me before the procedure and scaring me enough to have me skip today's.
also, thank you lord for letting me really be sick, therefore saving me from the trouble of lying.
PE is scary.
the girls have to do pushups.
where is the world coming to?
i always thought of pushups as a solely male exercise.
how i detest gender equality.
down on feminism!
just think, if we still followed the old 'females stay at home' rule, then no PE!
and no cjc.
okay, a bit out of point.
ANYWAY, have not changed my mind about cj.
and i dont think i ever will.
and i love wendy's account about the sad person in her class who cycles to town.
brightened up my day for the moment there.
i wait patiently for the day that i am out of cj.
no.
actually, i will not wait patiently.
i will rush it.
hurry come already, will you?
-mutters.
saw andrea in cj today.
cant believe she doesnt like yj.
was suggesting to her to take my place while i take her's and i can go to yj, of which i feel happier in.
hear this, I LOVE YJ.
YISHUN JUNIOR COLLEGE.
):
Monday, January 10, 2005
am just past a mush fest.
was feeling very uncertain and insecure.
haven't felt that for years.
am glad that i have clare and charlotte and bri and all.
okay, come to think of it, am still meandering in my mush pit.
am supposed to have a talk with my dad later. again.
do not know when later is supposed to come.
am very drugged.
which will be either a good thing or a bad thing depedng on which side you look at it.
a drugged lee is a very mild lee, and that ensures a relatively peaceful time if there is to be another round of negotiations.
however, am certainly a little bit too drugged.
might just fall alseep anytime.
just read charlotte's blog about wallflowers.
as 'd said, am feeling very much the epitome of a wallflower girl.
is a slightly alien feeling, after the comfort of stnicks.
but somehow still familiar.
i'm a loser at heart, i think.
i take to being ignored quite well.
and besides, i hadn't always had abcl.
and in between abcl and andrea&daphne, i was SUCH a loner.
but nevermind.
ancient history, that.
am much too tired nowadays to try to make friends.
as such, the hypocrisy and superficiality of pleasant small talk with new acquaintainces is much too taxing.
simply cannot be bothered.
am also proud to say that i have abstained from bitching the whole of today.
bitching is always fun, but loses its interest when there is no adequately cruel bitching partner.
am not used to saying honey edged criticism, so simply didnt bother at all.
another thing to chalk up against clare.
brings me back to topic of the month.
how to live without clare.
i truly wonder.
have been doing some voracious blog reading.
have developed a perverse interest in how everyone is taking to jc.
it hurts, but i keep going back for more.
ugh, that makes me sound vaguely sado-masochistic.
love it when i see derogatory remarks about cjc.
especially like reading brendan's accounts of acjc.
reminds me that life isn't so one-dimensional (that is to say, bad)
nice to see how the other side is living.
am missing charlotte's very own brand of cutting remarks.
will have to meet up someday.
somehow people in cj just dont have the oomph my friends have.
do not really understand them.
maybe that is why charmainelowe was a close friend for only one token year.
had still thought then that we four were such a team.
but sees now that things wouldnt have worked out anyways.
we are all strangers now, it seems.
am not going to let that happen again.
am fully intending to see clare's firstborn.
and attend phoon's wedding.
see how charlotte conquers whichever arena she decides to enter.
or more things to that effect.
ah see, am still languishing in above mentioned mush pit.
am typing whatever comes to mind.
wil probably cringe and die when i read this later.
but nevermind.
maybe i just wont ever come out of this hole.
maybe it's just all those drugs i fed myself.
must clarify.
am not a drug addict.
am simply extremely ill.
but must self medicate to this extent as school cannot be missed, lest giam thinks i have lung cancer.
this is one mighty long entry.
should really be a historian,
am always so hung up about the past
am not seeing dad afterall.
just as well, quite tired.
not up to it.
off to call clare and hear her bitch about all there is to be bitched about.
was feeling very uncertain and insecure.
haven't felt that for years.
am glad that i have clare and charlotte and bri and all.
okay, come to think of it, am still meandering in my mush pit.
am supposed to have a talk with my dad later. again.
do not know when later is supposed to come.
am very drugged.
which will be either a good thing or a bad thing depedng on which side you look at it.
a drugged lee is a very mild lee, and that ensures a relatively peaceful time if there is to be another round of negotiations.
however, am certainly a little bit too drugged.
might just fall alseep anytime.
just read charlotte's blog about wallflowers.
as 'd said, am feeling very much the epitome of a wallflower girl.
is a slightly alien feeling, after the comfort of stnicks.
but somehow still familiar.
i'm a loser at heart, i think.
i take to being ignored quite well.
and besides, i hadn't always had abcl.
and in between abcl and andrea&daphne, i was SUCH a loner.
but nevermind.
ancient history, that.
am much too tired nowadays to try to make friends.
as such, the hypocrisy and superficiality of pleasant small talk with new acquaintainces is much too taxing.
simply cannot be bothered.
am also proud to say that i have abstained from bitching the whole of today.
bitching is always fun, but loses its interest when there is no adequately cruel bitching partner.
am not used to saying honey edged criticism, so simply didnt bother at all.
another thing to chalk up against clare.
brings me back to topic of the month.
how to live without clare.
i truly wonder.
have been doing some voracious blog reading.
have developed a perverse interest in how everyone is taking to jc.
it hurts, but i keep going back for more.
ugh, that makes me sound vaguely sado-masochistic.
love it when i see derogatory remarks about cjc.
especially like reading brendan's accounts of acjc.
reminds me that life isn't so one-dimensional (that is to say, bad)
nice to see how the other side is living.
am missing charlotte's very own brand of cutting remarks.
will have to meet up someday.
somehow people in cj just dont have the oomph my friends have.
do not really understand them.
maybe that is why charmainelowe was a close friend for only one token year.
had still thought then that we four were such a team.
but sees now that things wouldnt have worked out anyways.
we are all strangers now, it seems.
am not going to let that happen again.
am fully intending to see clare's firstborn.
and attend phoon's wedding.
see how charlotte conquers whichever arena she decides to enter.
or more things to that effect.
ah see, am still languishing in above mentioned mush pit.
am typing whatever comes to mind.
wil probably cringe and die when i read this later.
but nevermind.
maybe i just wont ever come out of this hole.
maybe it's just all those drugs i fed myself.
must clarify.
am not a drug addict.
am simply extremely ill.
but must self medicate to this extent as school cannot be missed, lest giam thinks i have lung cancer.
this is one mighty long entry.
should really be a historian,
am always so hung up about the past
am not seeing dad afterall.
just as well, quite tired.
not up to it.
off to call clare and hear her bitch about all there is to be bitched about.
actual lessons are much better than orientation.
still do not like cj anyway.
my class is alright, actually.
but that's just it.
it's just alright.
okay, so-so.
it's not brilliantly marvy,
it's not complete hell.
i almost wish it was complete hell so it'll harden my resolve to do something about it.
just something.
am mostly keeping to myself.
there you go!
my prediction come through.
"hello, i'm lee. the friendless loser of the century."
so okay, it's my fault.
i missed the three crucial days of orientation and all that.
and i'm not really bothered to make the effort to fit right in.
takes too much energy.
i think the only thing i feel these days are exhaustion and and utter desolation.
not much a choice between them both.
i'd like to come up with some complex essay on how things are now,
but really, it just boils down to a few succintly chosen words.
MY LIFE STINKS REALLY BAD.
and i miss clare, okay?
and everyone else i hung with in stnicks.
still do not like cj anyway.
my class is alright, actually.
but that's just it.
it's just alright.
okay, so-so.
it's not brilliantly marvy,
it's not complete hell.
i almost wish it was complete hell so it'll harden my resolve to do something about it.
just something.
am mostly keeping to myself.
there you go!
my prediction come through.
"hello, i'm lee. the friendless loser of the century."
so okay, it's my fault.
i missed the three crucial days of orientation and all that.
and i'm not really bothered to make the effort to fit right in.
takes too much energy.
i think the only thing i feel these days are exhaustion and and utter desolation.
not much a choice between them both.
i'd like to come up with some complex essay on how things are now,
but really, it just boils down to a few succintly chosen words.
MY LIFE STINKS REALLY BAD.
and i miss clare, okay?
and everyone else i hung with in stnicks.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
CLARE, I MISS YOU.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH.
):
okay, i don't think that fact actually sunk in until a while ago.
and now, my heart is breaking.
really really breaking.
like that one minute after i lost sight of phoon at the airport as she walked deeper into the checkin place.
my god.
i swear i could totally cry now.
i've been crying a mite too much recently.
everything that's happening is so cry-worthy.
i wish we hadn't graduated from stnicks.
and things were still the same as it's always been for so many years.
same school, same school song, same annoying teachers.
always knowing that there's someone to have recess with you.
someone to queue up at orange bowl stall with you.
or buy drinks for you.
its only been one week since school started and i'm already missing all that.
i miss bri and jes's craziness.
their mad singing all over the place.
their loony antics.
miss amanda's laughter.
i miss charlotte's caustic sarcasm at all the stupid people we dont know who get in our way.
her death glare.
her sunshine smile when she's in the mood.
miss looking at charlotte do her math and physics so diligently whilst i sing aimlessly and clare smses one of her many friends.
miss walking to assembly with clare and charlotte.
miss knowing that i can say the meanest or stupidest things about people to clare and she'll just laugh and say something meaner or stupider.
miss clare saying," eh, meet you guys here. i'll go and buy food." as she bounces off to buy toast and waffles while we're all at orange bowl.
miss rummaging through clare's ratty pink pouch almost everyday even though the contents are always the same.
i miss going up to clare's table after school to ask how she's going home even when i know that more than half the time, her mom's already waiting at the carpark.
miss all those days we go to town.
cip-ing or slacking or otherwise.
i just miss everything so so SO MUCH.
i know i should just get over it and try to make things work.
but how can i look towards the future when the past was so good?
):
gee, i thought i would at least wait till i'm home before i cry when bri and clare leaves, but now i'm not too sure.
i'll probably wail right there and there.
missing those good ol' days.
):
i've got too many sad faces.
pah.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH.
):
okay, i don't think that fact actually sunk in until a while ago.
and now, my heart is breaking.
really really breaking.
like that one minute after i lost sight of phoon at the airport as she walked deeper into the checkin place.
my god.
i swear i could totally cry now.
i've been crying a mite too much recently.
everything that's happening is so cry-worthy.
i wish we hadn't graduated from stnicks.
and things were still the same as it's always been for so many years.
same school, same school song, same annoying teachers.
always knowing that there's someone to have recess with you.
someone to queue up at orange bowl stall with you.
or buy drinks for you.
its only been one week since school started and i'm already missing all that.
i miss bri and jes's craziness.
their mad singing all over the place.
their loony antics.
miss amanda's laughter.
i miss charlotte's caustic sarcasm at all the stupid people we dont know who get in our way.
her death glare.
her sunshine smile when she's in the mood.
miss looking at charlotte do her math and physics so diligently whilst i sing aimlessly and clare smses one of her many friends.
miss walking to assembly with clare and charlotte.
miss knowing that i can say the meanest or stupidest things about people to clare and she'll just laugh and say something meaner or stupider.
miss clare saying," eh, meet you guys here. i'll go and buy food." as she bounces off to buy toast and waffles while we're all at orange bowl.
miss rummaging through clare's ratty pink pouch almost everyday even though the contents are always the same.
i miss going up to clare's table after school to ask how she's going home even when i know that more than half the time, her mom's already waiting at the carpark.
miss all those days we go to town.
cip-ing or slacking or otherwise.
i just miss everything so so SO MUCH.
i know i should just get over it and try to make things work.
but how can i look towards the future when the past was so good?
):
gee, i thought i would at least wait till i'm home before i cry when bri and clare leaves, but now i'm not too sure.
i'll probably wail right there and there.
missing those good ol' days.
):
i've got too many sad faces.
pah.
just a moment ago, i had a lot to say.
now i can't remember what i wanted to say.
so i actually have nothing to say.
this is so stupid.
school tommorrow.
i still do not think of cj as a reality.
it's simply some elaborate nightmare.
am fully intending to quit after one week.
that is, of course, discounting other not-so-supportive factors who are hindering my bloody life.
my brother says:" cjc. cock junior college."
my god, so agree.
although i'd phrase it a bit more elegantly.
BRI, i never thought i'll say this,
but if i don't see you in CJ on monday, i'll cheer and be happy.
that is, for you of course.
because if you're not there, that means you've won the war of the disagreeable parents.
good luck with them.
i'm still working on mine.
now i can't remember what i wanted to say.
so i actually have nothing to say.
this is so stupid.
school tommorrow.
i still do not think of cj as a reality.
it's simply some elaborate nightmare.
am fully intending to quit after one week.
that is, of course, discounting other not-so-supportive factors who are hindering my bloody life.
my brother says:" cjc. cock junior college."
my god, so agree.
although i'd phrase it a bit more elegantly.
BRI, i never thought i'll say this,
but if i don't see you in CJ on monday, i'll cheer and be happy.
that is, for you of course.
because if you're not there, that means you've won the war of the disagreeable parents.
good luck with them.
i'm still working on mine.
Friday, January 07, 2005
came home from yj and fell asleep till like, now which is 9 plus.
SO shagged.
but okay, yj was really lovely.
not lovely as in so fun all i wanna do is to go back,
but lovely as in super lax authorities
and super slack activities.
we simply do mostly what we want.
kinda like the first few months of sec1.
and its so beautiful compared to cj.
i swear cj has like no aesthetic value at all.
oh, and clare's form teacher is so nice.
never in my life have i seen a bigger smiler.
i absolutely ADORE him :D
and i love love love clare's classmates.
like lee ting who's so sweet and pretty.
ooh! and clare's OGLs are so nice.
i am so jealous.
if cj was even half like that, i wouldn't be put off junior colleges so fast.
today is the best school day since the year started.
which reinforces my theory that i cannot live without clare.
ahhh ):
come monday, im gonna be back in cj.
oh help.
okay, ive decided that i really wanna be in acjc.
or yjc, come to that.
yjc would be a nice for 3 months.
whatever, i just miss stnicks.
SO shagged.
but okay, yj was really lovely.
not lovely as in so fun all i wanna do is to go back,
but lovely as in super lax authorities
and super slack activities.
we simply do mostly what we want.
kinda like the first few months of sec1.
and its so beautiful compared to cj.
i swear cj has like no aesthetic value at all.
oh, and clare's form teacher is so nice.
never in my life have i seen a bigger smiler.
i absolutely ADORE him :D
and i love love love clare's classmates.
like lee ting who's so sweet and pretty.
ooh! and clare's OGLs are so nice.
i am so jealous.
if cj was even half like that, i wouldn't be put off junior colleges so fast.
today is the best school day since the year started.
which reinforces my theory that i cannot live without clare.
ahhh ):
come monday, im gonna be back in cj.
oh help.
okay, ive decided that i really wanna be in acjc.
or yjc, come to that.
yjc would be a nice for 3 months.
whatever, i just miss stnicks.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
okay, brief blog surfing just done with.
everybody seems to love jc life.
have just read brendan's blog and ac sounds supreme.
charlotte has also found her people in ac.
jes loves her class.
clare likes her OGLs.
am now left feeling horribly jealous.
why is it everybody's so insanely happy while i'm depressed just at the thought of cj?
two days of cj.
just two days and i cannot take it anymore.
i swear, on the second day, called charlotte to share my pent up frustration.
talked and bitched and thought about cj till i burst into tears.
and i cried all the way till 11 when i had a serious migraine, downed six panadols and cough syrup and only then could i sleep.
couldnt even open my eyes the next day.
though that wasnt all that bad because i could then not go to school as i havent been for the past two days.
stubbed my toe too at j8 today.
it's a disgusting mess now.
i am willing self to not look at it till the wide gash closes itself.
am hoping that happens soon.
everybody seems to love jc life.
have just read brendan's blog and ac sounds supreme.
charlotte has also found her people in ac.
jes loves her class.
clare likes her OGLs.
am now left feeling horribly jealous.
why is it everybody's so insanely happy while i'm depressed just at the thought of cj?
two days of cj.
just two days and i cannot take it anymore.
i swear, on the second day, called charlotte to share my pent up frustration.
talked and bitched and thought about cj till i burst into tears.
and i cried all the way till 11 when i had a serious migraine, downed six panadols and cough syrup and only then could i sleep.
couldnt even open my eyes the next day.
though that wasnt all that bad because i could then not go to school as i havent been for the past two days.
stubbed my toe too at j8 today.
it's a disgusting mess now.
i am willing self to not look at it till the wide gash closes itself.
am hoping that happens soon.
ooh, phoon and i are SO meant to be :D
haha.
today was good.
went back to stnicks with clare.
it was like finally going home.
my lord, orange bowl is so delightful to the senses that after i took my first mouth of it, i almost cried from the beauty of it.
i bet clare felt the same way.
i wished everday could be like this and i can totally die happy.
shit, should've agreed with my mom and asked the doc for a 3-day mc and not a measly two days only.
never mind.
shall just not go tommorrow.
if ms giam wants to screw me, then bring it on!
i'm ready for her.
miss stnicks so much.
clare and i went to the bridge and talked about every damn thing that has happened to her in the past three days that i didnt see her. (i swear, 3 days is 3 days much too long)
i wished i had never appealed to cj AT ALL.
yj sounds like heaven compared to cj.
saw teachers,
and my LD kakis (:
haha. amazing how eliza and steph just appeared at the table.
i miss LD too, suddenly.
oh, and yeah.
steph the fengshui master took a look at my four teardrop moles and concluded that only one of them is the one that's gonna make me cry for my kids.
well, i sure hope so.
i don't wanna cry for me, that's for sure.
ugh, come to think of that, i don't wanna cry for my kid either.
like, come on lah.
how dare that kid.
make me cry.
if he/she dares, i'll just kill it.
i'd still better get all four moles zapped away just in case anyway (:
aw shucks, jes just called.
i wish i was in her class.
then at least my experience in cj wouldnt be so tragic.
and jes made me realise that i might've been a leeetle too defensive about stuff.
oh well, shucks.
i'm not about the change my mind about anyone until i know them for myself and i like them enough to admit my mistake.
haha.
think i'll just wag school tmr too and go yj with clare to experience her happiness.
sore throat getting worse.
wierd how i only started to feel the effects after i went to the doctor.
went there just to get an mc.
ended up wit the doc informing me that i have a red and swollen throat.
funny.
cannot stand orientation.
will go only on monday.
i hate cj
haha.
today was good.
went back to stnicks with clare.
it was like finally going home.
my lord, orange bowl is so delightful to the senses that after i took my first mouth of it, i almost cried from the beauty of it.
i bet clare felt the same way.
i wished everday could be like this and i can totally die happy.
shit, should've agreed with my mom and asked the doc for a 3-day mc and not a measly two days only.
never mind.
shall just not go tommorrow.
if ms giam wants to screw me, then bring it on!
i'm ready for her.
miss stnicks so much.
clare and i went to the bridge and talked about every damn thing that has happened to her in the past three days that i didnt see her. (i swear, 3 days is 3 days much too long)
i wished i had never appealed to cj AT ALL.
yj sounds like heaven compared to cj.
saw teachers,
and my LD kakis (:
haha. amazing how eliza and steph just appeared at the table.
i miss LD too, suddenly.
oh, and yeah.
steph the fengshui master took a look at my four teardrop moles and concluded that only one of them is the one that's gonna make me cry for my kids.
well, i sure hope so.
i don't wanna cry for me, that's for sure.
ugh, come to think of that, i don't wanna cry for my kid either.
like, come on lah.
how dare that kid.
make me cry.
if he/she dares, i'll just kill it.
i'd still better get all four moles zapped away just in case anyway (:
aw shucks, jes just called.
i wish i was in her class.
then at least my experience in cj wouldnt be so tragic.
and jes made me realise that i might've been a leeetle too defensive about stuff.
oh well, shucks.
i'm not about the change my mind about anyone until i know them for myself and i like them enough to admit my mistake.
haha.
think i'll just wag school tmr too and go yj with clare to experience her happiness.
sore throat getting worse.
wierd how i only started to feel the effects after i went to the doctor.
went there just to get an mc.
ended up wit the doc informing me that i have a red and swollen throat.
funny.
cannot stand orientation.
will go only on monday.
i hate cj
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
anybody read catherine lim's teardrop story woman?
it's this weepy and longish story about this sad woman with a sad life.
yeah so anyways.
whatever it is, the moral of the story was:
if you have a mole by your eye, you're screwed.
and guess what i found out yesterday?
i have four teardrop moles.
FOUR, okay?!
four black dots of disaster on my pasty face.
and all, at the eye area.
no wonder i'm so goddarned miserable.
i'm in a class with 3 other stnicks people, and i hate it there.
i hate everything about the class.
the teacher and her rules especially.
she's a nightmare teacher i tell you.
my complete nightmare come true.
get this.
she believes in knowing the student through and through.
she believes in being all pally with the students.
she wants to be friends.
she likes going for house visits.
HOUSE VISITS.
can you believe this woman?
i don't care what her intentions are, but i view her as a complete nightmare.
what does she think she's trying to do intruding into my life like that?
true, she hasn't done all those yet, but it's only the 3rd day of school (of which i wagged, of course)
i truly believe she's serious about it.
you should have seen that steely glint of evil in her eyes when she said it.
i almost burst into tears right there and there.
she's that brand of 'patient', 'interested', 'talk-to-me-i-want-to-be-your-friend' kinda teacher who i simply cannot stand.
they are so completely annoying.
who couldnt i have gotten an old goat who cannot see beyond her nose for a teacher, dammit.
i need to leave.
anywhere is fine.
i can't take this anymore.
GOD.
i'd better have those damned moles zapped away.
and someone remind me to go visit some fortune teller, NOW.
some good fortune teller who will simply have to tell me if my life is gonna be worth living for the the future and especially, the near future.
because, if the future holds nothing for me, i'm not gonna bother living either.
okay, my sister says my aunt says my name is at fault too.
seems that since i'm named a male's name, i'm gonna lead a male's life.
and male's just don't have it good at all.
fuck.
so that means i'd better get a deed poll done soon.
and change my name into the most obviously girly name around so that all the fengshui factors will be convinced that this person here IS FEMALE OKAY.
so what, i'll just change my name to lee .. mei-mei.
no mistakes there then.
i'm a girl okay people.
a female.
a x-chromosome.
a WOMAN !!
okay okay okay?
so let me lead a good female taitai existence.
i shall have to have a good heart to heart talk with my aunt and request her aid in chasing away all that bad karma surrounding.
i'll do anything, i swear.
mole zapping,
plastic surgery,
cut my hair,
shave my eyebrows.
ANYTHING.
and let me emerge a new person.
no wait.
A NEW WOMAN.
-shakes fist.
just watch me.
it's this weepy and longish story about this sad woman with a sad life.
yeah so anyways.
whatever it is, the moral of the story was:
if you have a mole by your eye, you're screwed.
and guess what i found out yesterday?
i have four teardrop moles.
FOUR, okay?!
four black dots of disaster on my pasty face.
and all, at the eye area.
no wonder i'm so goddarned miserable.
i'm in a class with 3 other stnicks people, and i hate it there.
i hate everything about the class.
the teacher and her rules especially.
she's a nightmare teacher i tell you.
my complete nightmare come true.
get this.
she believes in knowing the student through and through.
she believes in being all pally with the students.
she wants to be friends.
she likes going for house visits.
HOUSE VISITS.
can you believe this woman?
i don't care what her intentions are, but i view her as a complete nightmare.
what does she think she's trying to do intruding into my life like that?
true, she hasn't done all those yet, but it's only the 3rd day of school (of which i wagged, of course)
i truly believe she's serious about it.
you should have seen that steely glint of evil in her eyes when she said it.
i almost burst into tears right there and there.
she's that brand of 'patient', 'interested', 'talk-to-me-i-want-to-be-your-friend' kinda teacher who i simply cannot stand.
they are so completely annoying.
who couldnt i have gotten an old goat who cannot see beyond her nose for a teacher, dammit.
i need to leave.
anywhere is fine.
i can't take this anymore.
GOD.
i'd better have those damned moles zapped away.
and someone remind me to go visit some fortune teller, NOW.
some good fortune teller who will simply have to tell me if my life is gonna be worth living for the the future and especially, the near future.
because, if the future holds nothing for me, i'm not gonna bother living either.
okay, my sister says my aunt says my name is at fault too.
seems that since i'm named a male's name, i'm gonna lead a male's life.
and male's just don't have it good at all.
fuck.
so that means i'd better get a deed poll done soon.
and change my name into the most obviously girly name around so that all the fengshui factors will be convinced that this person here IS FEMALE OKAY.
so what, i'll just change my name to lee .. mei-mei.
no mistakes there then.
i'm a girl okay people.
a female.
a x-chromosome.
a WOMAN !!
okay okay okay?
so let me lead a good female taitai existence.
i shall have to have a good heart to heart talk with my aunt and request her aid in chasing away all that bad karma surrounding.
i'll do anything, i swear.
mole zapping,
plastic surgery,
cut my hair,
shave my eyebrows.
ANYTHING.
and let me emerge a new person.
no wait.
A NEW WOMAN.
-shakes fist.
just watch me.
Monday, January 03, 2005
if i ever thought cj was bad, i was wrong.
it's the very worst.
i detest it from the very bottom of my tiny heart.
and to make it worse, what do i see there?
offspring of the evil twin.
somehow, everybody just neglected to enlighten me about that.
and i think that kc girl from my index group has a problem with me.
or my lv wallet.
like, okay whatever.
im minding my own business and she just comes up and starts being sarcastic about my wallet just because i committed the grave sin of owning a genuine lv and not a fake bangkok one.
hello! i haven't even been to bangkok for goodness sake.
and boy did i ever miss clare.
how to bitch without her?
simple.
just pretend i'm bitching to her, and simulating her expected reply in my mind.
and not just bitching, it was just about everything.
like i think to myself, 'oh, i think that guy looks good.'
and then i think back clare's expected reply, 'aye, can la, not bad. -wrinkles nose. but a bit short.'
and so my day went.
me talking to myself, and answering myself.
pathetic, no?
this day has been a complete nightmare.
just thinking of it makes me want to cry.
if only clare was in cj too.
shucks, i cannot go back to cj.
it's satan's lair.
(no, not hellhole. the term 'hellhole' shall henceforth be not a derogatory word but a loving namesake for my beautiful and lovely stnicks)
and i've decided that i truly cannot stand brother paul.
like bri says,
for a male nun, he's one hell of a bitch.
cannot stand.
what caritate et veritate or veritate et caritate.
tch.
i spit in contempt.
a succint, normal 'simple in virtue, steadfast in duty' is just fine.
so much better, in fact.
who bloody understands latin anyways?
and what a stupid motto.
you'll sound stupid just saying the damn phrase.
@#$%^&*!
argh cannot take it cannot take it
-grabs neck.
i'm going insane just at the thought of going back there.
and especially without clare since she's pally with her og people and all.
i cannot go back there.
i cannot.
and yet, i must.
watch me weep in despair.
it's the very worst.
i detest it from the very bottom of my tiny heart.
and to make it worse, what do i see there?
offspring of the evil twin.
somehow, everybody just neglected to enlighten me about that.
and i think that kc girl from my index group has a problem with me.
or my lv wallet.
like, okay whatever.
im minding my own business and she just comes up and starts being sarcastic about my wallet just because i committed the grave sin of owning a genuine lv and not a fake bangkok one.
hello! i haven't even been to bangkok for goodness sake.
and boy did i ever miss clare.
how to bitch without her?
simple.
just pretend i'm bitching to her, and simulating her expected reply in my mind.
and not just bitching, it was just about everything.
like i think to myself, 'oh, i think that guy looks good.'
and then i think back clare's expected reply, 'aye, can la, not bad. -wrinkles nose. but a bit short.'
and so my day went.
me talking to myself, and answering myself.
pathetic, no?
this day has been a complete nightmare.
just thinking of it makes me want to cry.
if only clare was in cj too.
shucks, i cannot go back to cj.
it's satan's lair.
(no, not hellhole. the term 'hellhole' shall henceforth be not a derogatory word but a loving namesake for my beautiful and lovely stnicks)
and i've decided that i truly cannot stand brother paul.
like bri says,
for a male nun, he's one hell of a bitch.
cannot stand.
what caritate et veritate or veritate et caritate.
tch.
i spit in contempt.
a succint, normal 'simple in virtue, steadfast in duty' is just fine.
so much better, in fact.
who bloody understands latin anyways?
and what a stupid motto.
you'll sound stupid just saying the damn phrase.
@#$%^&*!
argh cannot take it cannot take it
-grabs neck.
i'm going insane just at the thought of going back there.
and especially without clare since she's pally with her og people and all.
i cannot go back there.
i cannot.
and yet, i must.
watch me weep in despair.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
the new year is here.
i don't think i could be sadder.
my readership is depressing, did i mention?
made sure i was tucked in bed by 1130 last night so that i could ensure that i wouldnt be awake when the new year officially arrives.
gulped a mouthful of cough syrup for safe measure.
woke up at 12 noon today, still drowsy (i love cough syrup)
got immeasurably depressed in the few hours i was awake though the reason for the depression was grossly misinterpreted.
fell back into bed at 130.
woke at 530, and here i am.
not bad for the first day of what promises to be the ultimately bitchy year of the century.
i really like taking cough syrup.
it helps my insomnia.
i sound psychotic.
oh and i was just reminded of what makes me so reluctant to drink cough syrup now even though i like it so much.
saw a snippet of this wierdass movie on cinemax about a bunch of screwed kids.
okay, whatever. i didn't really understand what was happening, but the main gist of this is that i got the impression that people actually get addicted to cough syrup.
its like a drug?
oh god.
what if i already am addicted to it?
that's like so s a d.
and pathetic too.
like picture me at the drug rehab and people are wondering what you got addicted to.
and all the other inmates are like, "oh, coke" or "grass" or "ice" or "ecstasy".
and me?
"cough syrup."
so pathetic.
oh well, so what.
at least if i'm at the drug rehab, that takes care of food and lodging.
fuck life.
i've got money to spend.
plenty of it, in fact.
someone tell me what to buy.
seeing by how things are going, i'm gonna be needing some serious retail therapy.
not that retail therapy actually helps, but hey it's something.
haha, clare and bri, i'm gonna date you both out everyday for the next one and a half months.
set? :D
i don't think i could be sadder.
my readership is depressing, did i mention?
made sure i was tucked in bed by 1130 last night so that i could ensure that i wouldnt be awake when the new year officially arrives.
gulped a mouthful of cough syrup for safe measure.
woke up at 12 noon today, still drowsy (i love cough syrup)
got immeasurably depressed in the few hours i was awake though the reason for the depression was grossly misinterpreted.
fell back into bed at 130.
woke at 530, and here i am.
not bad for the first day of what promises to be the ultimately bitchy year of the century.
i really like taking cough syrup.
it helps my insomnia.
i sound psychotic.
oh and i was just reminded of what makes me so reluctant to drink cough syrup now even though i like it so much.
saw a snippet of this wierdass movie on cinemax about a bunch of screwed kids.
okay, whatever. i didn't really understand what was happening, but the main gist of this is that i got the impression that people actually get addicted to cough syrup.
its like a drug?
oh god.
what if i already am addicted to it?
that's like so s a d.
and pathetic too.
like picture me at the drug rehab and people are wondering what you got addicted to.
and all the other inmates are like, "oh, coke" or "grass" or "ice" or "ecstasy".
and me?
"cough syrup."
so pathetic.
oh well, so what.
at least if i'm at the drug rehab, that takes care of food and lodging.
fuck life.
i've got money to spend.
plenty of it, in fact.
someone tell me what to buy.
seeing by how things are going, i'm gonna be needing some serious retail therapy.
not that retail therapy actually helps, but hey it's something.
haha, clare and bri, i'm gonna date you both out everyday for the next one and a half months.
set? :D