somebody wants to drop out of law school.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
my life ain't fun.
two weeks, three essays and 20kgs to go!
:/
Paris, will i go to you?
oh this sucks, i don't want to be 18.
so old.
... something tells me i am going to be a very sad person from now on, especially when you consider that i've ceased being excited about birthdays since i was 13 because i thought that was too old.
bloody hell, it's been five years.
my youth is going.
Lion King last night.
hoooooo! the woman playing Rafiki was like, whoa so brilliant.
i wish i could sing, man.
anyway, the whole thing blew me away; i think more so than Phantom ever did.
bit sad about Simba though, the actor was all... ineffectual boyband sort.
with manboobs.
eyeuch ):
i like cartoon Simba better, oh yes definitely.
that one so HAWT.
:D
recently developed a sort of, eh, thing for flowy fabrics with flowery prints.
TELL ME AM I PUSSIFYING?!
hee hee, nvm.
and hot korean girl stunned me yesterday at EU law tutorial with her arguments against some ECJ decision about immigration.
boy do i like the girl.
she cool, she really cool.
mm, and in a completely unrelated way,
sometimes i really worry that i might be gay.
but of course, something (or someone :D ) proves that contrary.
... i still worry anyway.
but i've also decided that if i really am gay, will not ruin everybody (ie. family) by doing some stupid stunt and instead just go on to live life as a normal human being.
i mean, my daddy's lost the will to live already.
shouldn't go pushing him somemore.
:D
anyway, what the hell since i am quite decidedly heterosexual at the moment.
sha la,
<3 !
alright, be good people.
am off for a spot of window shopping before my Public law lectures.
two weeks, three essays and 20kgs to go!
:/
Paris, will i go to you?
oh this sucks, i don't want to be 18.
so old.
... something tells me i am going to be a very sad person from now on, especially when you consider that i've ceased being excited about birthdays since i was 13 because i thought that was too old.
bloody hell, it's been five years.
my youth is going.
Lion King last night.
hoooooo! the woman playing Rafiki was like, whoa so brilliant.
i wish i could sing, man.
anyway, the whole thing blew me away; i think more so than Phantom ever did.
bit sad about Simba though, the actor was all... ineffectual boyband sort.
with manboobs.
eyeuch ):
i like cartoon Simba better, oh yes definitely.
that one so HAWT.
:D
recently developed a sort of, eh, thing for flowy fabrics with flowery prints.
TELL ME AM I PUSSIFYING?!
hee hee, nvm.
and hot korean girl stunned me yesterday at EU law tutorial with her arguments against some ECJ decision about immigration.
boy do i like the girl.
she cool, she really cool.
mm, and in a completely unrelated way,
sometimes i really worry that i might be gay.
but of course, something (or someone :D ) proves that contrary.
... i still worry anyway.
but i've also decided that if i really am gay, will not ruin everybody (ie. family) by doing some stupid stunt and instead just go on to live life as a normal human being.
i mean, my daddy's lost the will to live already.
shouldn't go pushing him somemore.
:D
anyway, what the hell since i am quite decidedly heterosexual at the moment.
sha la,
<3 !
alright, be good people.
am off for a spot of window shopping before my Public law lectures.
Friday, November 24, 2006
harlow! it's 5:00AM, and surprise surprise.
here i am again.
i know it's very boring to be constantly whining about my sleeping patterns.
but the saddest thing about today was that i actually went to bed at about 1:00AM and i did actually fall asleep.
unfortunately for me, i woke up an hour later.
and was finally enlightened as to why i can never seem to sleep properly at night.
it's because i'm living in a place chockful of teenagers... the bloody youths.
i cannot live in a place that is constantly hopping with signs of life, especially that of such energetic life.
no, i definitely do not like teenagers.
they have too much energy, and they like to slam doors which is behaviour i consider extremely vulgar.
and that is why i can never sleep.
i have found that between the times of 7 and 9, they have a particular fondness for congregating in the public areas and interacting with each other, as if they have nothing better to do with their lives.
if there is anything i detest more than energetic footsteps causing creaks and groans in the unknown nooks and crannies of the building infrastructure, it is the sound of girls giggling.
girls chattering about their plans for the night and discussing their dresscode.
like, could you be anymore pointless?!
this is followed, in the later hours of 10 to 2 with random door slamming in various parts of the building (the girls in my flat should thankfully be quietly sleeping/fucking/out clubbing by now)
which is made even more irritating by how systematic it starts to sound after awhile.
vague giggle, footsteps, creaks, doors slamming, vague giggle, male laughter, footsteps, creaks, doors slamming... you get the ugly picture.
pshaw.
and then blessed silence from 3 onwards.
except i will usually be too annoyed or bright awake from all the mean thoughts that will somehow sneak their way into my mind about what i would do to all these young chaps if only i could get away with mass homicide.
so i keep awake till about 5, wherein the last vestiges of sounds will have long faded away and i am finally ready for bed.
however, this will be right about the time when the signs of human life will be replaced by the first signs of animal life.
yes, it's about this time that the fucking birds start to sing their fucking morning songs.
and i really loathe the sound of chirping birds.
i think birds are possibly one of the more meaningless existences around.
sometimes, it seems the only reason they are around is to create noise and spread diseases.
i very much do not like listening to sounds of vitality.
and i don't bloody care about early birds getting their sodding worms- 5AM is just a fucking unnatural time to be chirping.
grouchy old woman am i.
rawwwr!
hate teenagers,
hate birds.
here i am again.
i know it's very boring to be constantly whining about my sleeping patterns.
but the saddest thing about today was that i actually went to bed at about 1:00AM and i did actually fall asleep.
unfortunately for me, i woke up an hour later.
and was finally enlightened as to why i can never seem to sleep properly at night.
it's because i'm living in a place chockful of teenagers... the bloody youths.
i cannot live in a place that is constantly hopping with signs of life, especially that of such energetic life.
no, i definitely do not like teenagers.
they have too much energy, and they like to slam doors which is behaviour i consider extremely vulgar.
and that is why i can never sleep.
i have found that between the times of 7 and 9, they have a particular fondness for congregating in the public areas and interacting with each other, as if they have nothing better to do with their lives.
if there is anything i detest more than energetic footsteps causing creaks and groans in the unknown nooks and crannies of the building infrastructure, it is the sound of girls giggling.
girls chattering about their plans for the night and discussing their dresscode.
like, could you be anymore pointless?!
this is followed, in the later hours of 10 to 2 with random door slamming in various parts of the building (the girls in my flat should thankfully be quietly sleeping/fucking/out clubbing by now)
which is made even more irritating by how systematic it starts to sound after awhile.
vague giggle, footsteps, creaks, doors slamming, vague giggle, male laughter, footsteps, creaks, doors slamming... you get the ugly picture.
pshaw.
and then blessed silence from 3 onwards.
except i will usually be too annoyed or bright awake from all the mean thoughts that will somehow sneak their way into my mind about what i would do to all these young chaps if only i could get away with mass homicide.
so i keep awake till about 5, wherein the last vestiges of sounds will have long faded away and i am finally ready for bed.
however, this will be right about the time when the signs of human life will be replaced by the first signs of animal life.
yes, it's about this time that the fucking birds start to sing their fucking morning songs.
and i really loathe the sound of chirping birds.
i think birds are possibly one of the more meaningless existences around.
sometimes, it seems the only reason they are around is to create noise and spread diseases.
i very much do not like listening to sounds of vitality.
and i don't bloody care about early birds getting their sodding worms- 5AM is just a fucking unnatural time to be chirping.
grouchy old woman am i.
rawwwr!
hate teenagers,
hate birds.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
my kid brother is a year older.
(also, as always, is Bri- HAPPY COMING-OF-AGE, DOM DOM!)
here's what the birthday boy says:
hollering "PENG" says:
does your french teacher teach you how to french kiss!
yes, i know.
the bloody sick fuck.
so actually, i'd planned on putting up some pictures, but have since decided against it because i'm too tired to care.
and i've only just realised that the kid's just turned 15.
so young... my god.
anyway, because he has a choice of accepting free tickets for a party at MOS, and he turns it down for sushi, i must first fully express my disappointment.
and now, i will tell you why i am disappointed.
check this out.
21st November 06. Surge at Ministry of Sound.
Love is still the most powerful force.
Come witness the BIGGEST fight of the year between Daniel from RAFFLES and Jason from ACS! Doors open at 1930hrs for you all to grab the best seats in the house! Siantzu Casteels will grace the event and finally pick her best man!
... WTF?!
ha ha ha ha ha!
the kids these days... bloody priceless, they are.
amazingly, i also know of the girl.
(much to my amazement, i tell you- hopped up in delight; what a small world!)
except the last time i saw that face, she had weird eyebrows.
we still decided unequivocally that she was better looking than kim wakerman though, ha ha.
i actually still remember that her middle name is elizabeth.
tell me, do i have some freak memory or whaaaat.
thing is, i don't actually have a fair idea of why or how i knew of her... but i know everything from then on.
ha ha.
still,
the kids nowadays...
(shakes head admiringly)
i was born too early, i tell you.
also, makes me wish i was back in singapore.
if only to hear more about the event and laugh at all the little children with their overhyped party/love duel to the death :D
ah, the joy of being young.
:D
(also, as always, is Bri- HAPPY COMING-OF-AGE, DOM DOM!)
here's what the birthday boy says:
hollering "PENG" says:
does your french teacher teach you how to french kiss!
yes, i know.
the bloody sick fuck.
so actually, i'd planned on putting up some pictures, but have since decided against it because i'm too tired to care.
and i've only just realised that the kid's just turned 15.
so young... my god.
anyway, because he has a choice of accepting free tickets for a party at MOS, and he turns it down for sushi, i must first fully express my disappointment.
and now, i will tell you why i am disappointed.
check this out.
21st November 06. Surge at Ministry of Sound.
Love is still the most powerful force.
Come witness the BIGGEST fight of the year between Daniel from RAFFLES and Jason from ACS! Doors open at 1930hrs for you all to grab the best seats in the house! Siantzu Casteels will grace the event and finally pick her best man!
... WTF?!
ha ha ha ha ha!
the kids these days... bloody priceless, they are.
amazingly, i also know of the girl.
(much to my amazement, i tell you- hopped up in delight; what a small world!)
except the last time i saw that face, she had weird eyebrows.
we still decided unequivocally that she was better looking than kim wakerman though, ha ha.
i actually still remember that her middle name is elizabeth.
tell me, do i have some freak memory or whaaaat.
thing is, i don't actually have a fair idea of why or how i knew of her... but i know everything from then on.
ha ha.
still,
the kids nowadays...
(shakes head admiringly)
i was born too early, i tell you.
also, makes me wish i was back in singapore.
if only to hear more about the event and laugh at all the little children with their overhyped party/love duel to the death :D
ah, the joy of being young.
:D
Sunday, November 19, 2006
ARGH, so frustrated.
my insomnia has gotten to the point where it's baffling me.
i just had another completely sleepless night and i am so completely exhausted from all the other sleepless nights that i get dizzy all the time and still i cannot sleep.
what's the big idea, what the fuck is up with that?!
i really cannot survive another month of this, it's killing me already.
and i really am not happy now.
really really really unhappy and very irritated that my zen mode of the summer is gone.
i mean obviously i still get high fits when i am suddenly very happy but i really want to go back to being happy all the time because this whole constantly frowning, perpetually miserable thing is just murdering me.
i just want to be able to sleep now okay.
do you know what it is like to be so tired and still be unable to fall asleep.
it's really bloody painful and it's so bad i really want to die.
and the worst thing is that i cannot even write properly either, i'm loss for words simply because my brain refuses to function properly anymore.
the state of affairs in my mind is in fucking anarchy, it's revolting against me and i want to die.
i really seriously just want to kill myself.
it amazes me that i can still bother about spacing and punctuation here.
and you know i am so irritated because i really seriously need to get into a proper sleeping pattern to make all my nine o clock lectures.
the way i'm going, it just sucks how i can never wake up properly in the morning and i'm living in some alternate timezone.
will you believe that i am living in boston time, and the greatest irony is that i have never even bloody been to the us of a.
i am so tired and i have a headache but i don't even dare attempt to sleep anymore because i've tried and failed about ten times since 5 am and its 8 now and i keep thinking how long am i going to sleep if i actually sleep soon and how am i going to schedule all the work i was supposed to do in the day (which i obviously wont now because i will be sleeping) into the night and still be able to get up tommorrow for the criminal lecture at 9.
just thinking about it stresses me out.
and the thing is that if i just stay up, i wont get anything done either because i am going to be so moody and bitchy with thoughts about another night of non-sleep that i will cease to function.
and my throat hurts again, which is a new bodily response i've only just in recent weeks discovered.
there reaches a point of sleeplessness when suddenly my throat starts to feel grainy and dry and nothing will make it better and it hurts.
havent even considered taking anti-histamines to get sleep but now i'm thinking what the hell, why should i be concerned about excessive pill-popping if living naturally means i cannot even sleep.
but i dont want to because anti-histamines dry up my throat and all and my lips are already cracking away like mad and my throat also hurts.
but you know what.... i'll take that if it means i can sleep.
the thought is making me slightly happier.
also, feel good playlist on itunes playing.
still in bad mood- as have been mostly for the past week due to sleep pattern and external matters.
grrrrrrrrr.
oh dizzy fit ah ;llxz okay shook head out and non dazed again but you know what, this is really no joke i think my entire body is going to fail soon.
ARHJFKGLSJOFSSDLSMFaposed thinking of school and work and people and sleep and fitting everything together just sdkjdfhierwposldc;s i dont want to go throuhg all that shit
watched step up.
girl hot. bestfriend hotter. guy hottest.
but very weird, white guy act black and he's so long and his neck is thicker than his face.
still very hot; a lot hotter than the take the lead one whatever his name is.
but you know what, step up guy possibly hottest guy have seen in a while but still cannot compare to mine.
even though he obviously not hot at all then nowadays so down also- waaa heartbreak i tell you, see him sad but dont want to dwell on that now, miserable enough from insomnia and schoolwork at the moment.
i think i am the most loyal person i know. really.
i'm so faithful i scare myself sometimes.
also, looking at what i've written in the past months, horrified to realise that have unwittingly incorporated overwhelmingly large amount of singlish with odd phrasing which is bad because it's soon going to reflect upon actual written, formal work.
fuckkit.
i think it's this computer too.
keep seeing it giving out some technology related positive ions to disrupt my sleep.
DAMN YOU, DESCENDANT OF A TOASTER OVEN!
i'm disconnecting it and living the next few weeks as a jungle person.
yeah, i wish.
i need it for my public law essay due thursday.
tell me, does my life suck now
and lastly,
i hate all you fuckers who have normal sleeping patterns.
(hisses like venomous snake)
my insomnia has gotten to the point where it's baffling me.
i just had another completely sleepless night and i am so completely exhausted from all the other sleepless nights that i get dizzy all the time and still i cannot sleep.
what's the big idea, what the fuck is up with that?!
i really cannot survive another month of this, it's killing me already.
and i really am not happy now.
really really really unhappy and very irritated that my zen mode of the summer is gone.
i mean obviously i still get high fits when i am suddenly very happy but i really want to go back to being happy all the time because this whole constantly frowning, perpetually miserable thing is just murdering me.
i just want to be able to sleep now okay.
do you know what it is like to be so tired and still be unable to fall asleep.
it's really bloody painful and it's so bad i really want to die.
and the worst thing is that i cannot even write properly either, i'm loss for words simply because my brain refuses to function properly anymore.
the state of affairs in my mind is in fucking anarchy, it's revolting against me and i want to die.
i really seriously just want to kill myself.
it amazes me that i can still bother about spacing and punctuation here.
and you know i am so irritated because i really seriously need to get into a proper sleeping pattern to make all my nine o clock lectures.
the way i'm going, it just sucks how i can never wake up properly in the morning and i'm living in some alternate timezone.
will you believe that i am living in boston time, and the greatest irony is that i have never even bloody been to the us of a.
i am so tired and i have a headache but i don't even dare attempt to sleep anymore because i've tried and failed about ten times since 5 am and its 8 now and i keep thinking how long am i going to sleep if i actually sleep soon and how am i going to schedule all the work i was supposed to do in the day (which i obviously wont now because i will be sleeping) into the night and still be able to get up tommorrow for the criminal lecture at 9.
just thinking about it stresses me out.
and the thing is that if i just stay up, i wont get anything done either because i am going to be so moody and bitchy with thoughts about another night of non-sleep that i will cease to function.
and my throat hurts again, which is a new bodily response i've only just in recent weeks discovered.
there reaches a point of sleeplessness when suddenly my throat starts to feel grainy and dry and nothing will make it better and it hurts.
havent even considered taking anti-histamines to get sleep but now i'm thinking what the hell, why should i be concerned about excessive pill-popping if living naturally means i cannot even sleep.
but i dont want to because anti-histamines dry up my throat and all and my lips are already cracking away like mad and my throat also hurts.
but you know what.... i'll take that if it means i can sleep.
the thought is making me slightly happier.
also, feel good playlist on itunes playing.
still in bad mood- as have been mostly for the past week due to sleep pattern and external matters.
grrrrrrrrr.
oh dizzy fit ah ;llxz okay shook head out and non dazed again but you know what, this is really no joke i think my entire body is going to fail soon.
ARHJFKGLSJOFSSDLSMFaposed thinking of school and work and people and sleep and fitting everything together just sdkjdfhierwposldc;s i dont want to go throuhg all that shit
watched step up.
girl hot. bestfriend hotter. guy hottest.
but very weird, white guy act black and he's so long and his neck is thicker than his face.
still very hot; a lot hotter than the take the lead one whatever his name is.
but you know what, step up guy possibly hottest guy have seen in a while but still cannot compare to mine.
even though he obviously not hot at all then nowadays so down also- waaa heartbreak i tell you, see him sad but dont want to dwell on that now, miserable enough from insomnia and schoolwork at the moment.
i think i am the most loyal person i know. really.
i'm so faithful i scare myself sometimes.
also, looking at what i've written in the past months, horrified to realise that have unwittingly incorporated overwhelmingly large amount of singlish with odd phrasing which is bad because it's soon going to reflect upon actual written, formal work.
fuckkit.
i think it's this computer too.
keep seeing it giving out some technology related positive ions to disrupt my sleep.
DAMN YOU, DESCENDANT OF A TOASTER OVEN!
i'm disconnecting it and living the next few weeks as a jungle person.
yeah, i wish.
i need it for my public law essay due thursday.
tell me, does my life suck now
and lastly,
i hate all you fuckers who have normal sleeping patterns.
(hisses like venomous snake)
Saturday, November 18, 2006
guess what happened today to really add the cherry and icing on our already perfect week-
j's bag got swiped at covent garden today.
anyway, immense losses incurred and i really am quite traumatized by it.
ha ha, what the hell- j was damn damn damn !@#$%^&*
a lot of very expensive rich girl things inside you know!
some people work their whole lives also cannot afford.
and my dangou with that perfect shade of green was also inside.
(but anyway, even though it's some very cool piece of technology and it cost, the only feelings i have for it revolve around its name and colour... so nevermind la)
there's some serious bad karma going on around here.
however, because we are such strong and resilient creatures, we stand tall in times of trouble!
and as j said-
"LAO NIANG YOU QIAN, BU PA!"
that's the spirit, j.
still,
because there were seriously expensive (ipod video), seriously necessary (camera) and seriously chio (dangou) stuff involved,
to the blonde woman with the big red bag (WE CAUGHT YOU ON CCTV, BIAAATCH!) :-
... uh.
i hope your cheebye grows lice.
(:
j's bag got swiped at covent garden today.
anyway, immense losses incurred and i really am quite traumatized by it.
ha ha, what the hell- j was damn damn damn !@#$%^&*
a lot of very expensive rich girl things inside you know!
some people work their whole lives also cannot afford.
and my dangou with that perfect shade of green was also inside.
(but anyway, even though it's some very cool piece of technology and it cost, the only feelings i have for it revolve around its name and colour... so nevermind la)
there's some serious bad karma going on around here.
however, because we are such strong and resilient creatures, we stand tall in times of trouble!
and as j said-
"LAO NIANG YOU QIAN, BU PA!"
that's the spirit, j.
still,
because there were seriously expensive (ipod video), seriously necessary (camera) and seriously chio (dangou) stuff involved,
to the blonde woman with the big red bag (WE CAUGHT YOU ON CCTV, BIAAATCH!) :-
... uh.
i hope your cheebye grows lice.
(:
Friday, November 17, 2006
moodswinging, man.
i don't want to go to school.
shitamama.
haven't felt so strung up about school since... before the PSLE.
):
i really don't like my class.
so much treachery around.
and plus, i really have a problem with the whole, ooh i'm posh kinda shit.
had it, had it, had it with the fucking english and their culture of fucking hypocrisy.
so emo now.
):
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BLOG ANYMORE LA YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
COME BACK AGAIN WHEN YOU HAVE A SOLUTION TO MY PROBLEMS.
(which will be either 20 billion USD wherein i will cease to have to study anymore or a nice big hydrogen bomb to wipe out london town wherein i will cease to have to study anymore seeing that there is no institution to which i can go to seek education)
my mother and i need to have a talk.
i'm much too young and innocent for university.
i don't want to go to school.
shitamama.
haven't felt so strung up about school since... before the PSLE.
):
i really don't like my class.
so much treachery around.
and plus, i really have a problem with the whole, ooh i'm posh kinda shit.
had it, had it, had it with the fucking english and their culture of fucking hypocrisy.
so emo now.
):
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BLOG ANYMORE LA YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
COME BACK AGAIN WHEN YOU HAVE A SOLUTION TO MY PROBLEMS.
(which will be either 20 billion USD wherein i will cease to have to study anymore or a nice big hydrogen bomb to wipe out london town wherein i will cease to have to study anymore seeing that there is no institution to which i can go to seek education)
my mother and i need to have a talk.
i'm much too young and innocent for university.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
hello, i am deeply affected by the people in my school.
appalled would be the word if i was in a less... sad sort of mood.
who knew attempting for once to actually make my lectures/tutorials and listening to the conversations around me would have such repercussions.
.............
i don't know what to say to convey the melancholy and disbelief i'm in.
so i will do what i do best,
which is to be melodramatic.
(and that cheapens the situations but what the hell la)
anywayyyy,
THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL IS FILLED WITH PRETENTIOUS, OVERACHIEVING LOSERS!
seriously, i cannot believe the pathetic state of affairs i'm in.
here i am, slacker supremo.
and i suddenly find myself amongst people who are singularly obsessed (and i really mean obsessed!) with schoolwork.
which is reasonable and normal, surely, you must be thinking.
but are these normal people?!
NO.
see the crucial point here is that, when i say obsessed about schoolwork,
i mean obsessed with both their own work and everybody else's.
and they all secretly wish that the other will fail.
or at the very least, fall short of being as good as themselves.
TELL ME IS THAT FUCKED UP OR WHAT.
i never thought this would happen to me.
what did i do to deserve this?
i have never once tried to undermine anybody, whether friend or foe, when it comes to their schoolwork.
never okay, NEVER!
and i sure as hell don't ever get pleasure out of seeing a peer not do well.
i cannot even decide if that is more twisted or pathetic.
maybe it's because i spent too much time in the past laughing about the horror stories of how hwachong losers backstab each other over their schoolwork.
but don't you think this karmic punishment is a little out of proportion?
and surely there are more pressing matters in life to contend with rather than to make witchy comments about somebody who got better marks than you for their essay.
or........ ALL THE OTHER THINGS! i don't even want to go into the lurid details of bitchiness in geekdom.
and you know what makes it all so laughable?
King's College isn't even like that great la, hello!
making it even more pathetic that these people are acting like they are in some top law school, being all cutthroat and everything.
like,
TAKE YOUR SADO-MASOCHISTIC TENDENCIES AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASSES LA!
tch.
i am very sad now.
the little thing to be thankful about is that all these people are mere acquaintances.
(being that i am so completely uninvolved with school)
though, having every person i've been acquainted with being like that... seriously worrying.
or maybe it's just my class.
i know i'm a bad person.
and i am vindictive and manipulative and vicious.
but i would never be despicable enough to pretend we are the best of friends while i actually want you to fail.
and i am sad that my school for the next three years is filled with people like that.
wonder if it's too late for a class transfer.
okay, so today- really quite affected by the realization that people like that actually exist.
and in such large numbers too!
you know, bitchiness comes in many forms.
but this,
this is really fucking ugly.
what's with all the hidden agendas and the insincere smiles?
i don't even know how you can smile if you don't feel like it, which i know is anti-social behaviour, but at least i'm being true to myself.
and! i am always genuinely happy to help my classmates when they ask.
REALLY.
tch, university politics sucks.
cannot believe people who have reached their majority actually will sink to such... lowdown... thingies.
oh, no more about it.
soon i will accept this as a sad fact of uni life and deal with it like the brave minor i am!
and anyway,
as always... once i get out of school, things get better.
j laughed at my sudden inspiration for twin boy names.
but i really think they are damn good and meaningful names you know!
j is jealous, i tell you ha ha ha.
:D
-
Rouge Allure; says:
i really want to make babies with him
ya.
appalled would be the word if i was in a less... sad sort of mood.
who knew attempting for once to actually make my lectures/tutorials and listening to the conversations around me would have such repercussions.
.............
i don't know what to say to convey the melancholy and disbelief i'm in.
so i will do what i do best,
which is to be melodramatic.
(and that cheapens the situations but what the hell la)
anywayyyy,
THE WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL IS FILLED WITH PRETENTIOUS, OVERACHIEVING LOSERS!
seriously, i cannot believe the pathetic state of affairs i'm in.
here i am, slacker supremo.
and i suddenly find myself amongst people who are singularly obsessed (and i really mean obsessed!) with schoolwork.
which is reasonable and normal, surely, you must be thinking.
but are these normal people?!
NO.
see the crucial point here is that, when i say obsessed about schoolwork,
i mean obsessed with both their own work and everybody else's.
and they all secretly wish that the other will fail.
or at the very least, fall short of being as good as themselves.
TELL ME IS THAT FUCKED UP OR WHAT.
i never thought this would happen to me.
what did i do to deserve this?
i have never once tried to undermine anybody, whether friend or foe, when it comes to their schoolwork.
never okay, NEVER!
and i sure as hell don't ever get pleasure out of seeing a peer not do well.
i cannot even decide if that is more twisted or pathetic.
maybe it's because i spent too much time in the past laughing about the horror stories of how hwachong losers backstab each other over their schoolwork.
but don't you think this karmic punishment is a little out of proportion?
and surely there are more pressing matters in life to contend with rather than to make witchy comments about somebody who got better marks than you for their essay.
or........ ALL THE OTHER THINGS! i don't even want to go into the lurid details of bitchiness in geekdom.
and you know what makes it all so laughable?
King's College isn't even like that great la, hello!
making it even more pathetic that these people are acting like they are in some top law school, being all cutthroat and everything.
like,
TAKE YOUR SADO-MASOCHISTIC TENDENCIES AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASSES LA!
tch.
i am very sad now.
the little thing to be thankful about is that all these people are mere acquaintances.
(being that i am so completely uninvolved with school)
though, having every person i've been acquainted with being like that... seriously worrying.
or maybe it's just my class.
i know i'm a bad person.
and i am vindictive and manipulative and vicious.
but i would never be despicable enough to pretend we are the best of friends while i actually want you to fail.
and i am sad that my school for the next three years is filled with people like that.
wonder if it's too late for a class transfer.
okay, so today- really quite affected by the realization that people like that actually exist.
and in such large numbers too!
you know, bitchiness comes in many forms.
but this,
this is really fucking ugly.
what's with all the hidden agendas and the insincere smiles?
i don't even know how you can smile if you don't feel like it, which i know is anti-social behaviour, but at least i'm being true to myself.
and! i am always genuinely happy to help my classmates when they ask.
REALLY.
tch, university politics sucks.
cannot believe people who have reached their majority actually will sink to such... lowdown... thingies.
oh, no more about it.
soon i will accept this as a sad fact of uni life and deal with it like the brave minor i am!
and anyway,
as always... once i get out of school, things get better.
j laughed at my sudden inspiration for twin boy names.
but i really think they are damn good and meaningful names you know!
j is jealous, i tell you ha ha ha.
:D
-
Rouge Allure; says:
i really want to make babies with him
ya.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
hello, please tell me why i even for a second bothered about Prince William (in 1998, and briefly) when there was and still is Andrea Casiraghi.
SERIOUSLY.
who wants this,
when you can have this,
'nuff said.
ha ha, chillax!
:)
nice people who told me in varying ways that i am not ugly,
it's all coooooooool.
(i must admit, the response startled me- i expected silent consent as with all other things i say ha ha)
see, even though i spend a good part of each day wishing i was pretty, not actually being pretty is but a slight hiccup in my very charmed life of supreme omnipotence.
the fact is, i do enjoy being ugly because it makes life more interesting.
a lot more.. Fun.
:D
something tells me a part of being a university student entails actually entering said university compound.
but whatever!
soon, i will start being studious and good.
now's just not the time- i need recuperation from those long, arduous CTC days.
but on to more important things now,
EU tutorial!
shucks, speed-reading coming into play again.
i hate speed-reading.
love Anna Wintour :)
wanna be like her, ha ha ha.
ha ha, i'm feeling very chill now.
too chill to even start on my tutorial which is happening at 6 today.
big scary german woman (sad face)
i want to put pictures because i like colour on my blog.
butbutbut, i have no camera
):
HOKAY BYE!
:)
nice people who told me in varying ways that i am not ugly,
it's all coooooooool.
(i must admit, the response startled me- i expected silent consent as with all other things i say ha ha)
see, even though i spend a good part of each day wishing i was pretty, not actually being pretty is but a slight hiccup in my very charmed life of supreme omnipotence.
the fact is, i do enjoy being ugly because it makes life more interesting.
a lot more.. Fun.
:D
something tells me a part of being a university student entails actually entering said university compound.
but whatever!
soon, i will start being studious and good.
now's just not the time- i need recuperation from those long, arduous CTC days.
but on to more important things now,
EU tutorial!
shucks, speed-reading coming into play again.
i hate speed-reading.
love Anna Wintour :)
wanna be like her, ha ha ha.
ha ha, i'm feeling very chill now.
too chill to even start on my tutorial which is happening at 6 today.
big scary german woman (sad face)
i want to put pictures because i like colour on my blog.
butbutbut, i have no camera
):
HOKAY BYE!
Monday, November 13, 2006
today is asshole day.
as in, .. you know, so far the day has been an ass to me.
and it's also one of those days when i really think i am really really really damn ugly.
and not in the, oh i'm so disfigured way.
it's in the, sad resignation way like, okay you just got very unlucky in the genetic lottery and you look like a man and your eyes are small and close together and your jaw sticks out and your face is flat and your nose bridge is non-existent.
these are the honest days, i think.
the days when you really see what other people see when they look at you.
LIKE SERIOUSLY DAMN UGLY LA.
omg, if i saw myself on Orchard Rd, i might not even laugh.
i would most possibly put myself in the category of 'so ugly it's not even funny- let's have some pity'.
and Clare, i know you love me a lot that's why you have some blind spot when it comes to me.
loves, loves :)
BUT, i know i need plastic surgery to correct this cruel joke God dealt on me.
oh, btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTHONY JOSEPH JOOSAN TAN!
(i assure you it's pure coincidence asshole day happened on your birthday)
wa, really damn ugly.
and the challenge here is that i must remember this horror because i have this theory where you get used to your own face (obviously) and you start to lose sight of exactly how you look like.
you know how there are days when you think you could actually look presentable?
WELL, THAT'S A LIE.
a delusion, and we must not believe that!
it's the same with other people.
like how even the ugliest fuck doesn't seem as ugly the more you see them because you get used to the distortion.
which is why i only ever trust my first impression of every person i meet so i won't be like all the other people in the world who start raving that some person who is really nothing to look at is the hottest shit on earth even when they didn't think much of them themselves when they first met and the subject has not undergone any major transformation since.
i wish i could see myself for the first time.
i'm sure i would recoil in horror, ha ha.
okay, i'm starting to see the humour in this situation.
i mean, if God's going to play a joke on me, who am i to not laugh at it, right.
ha ha ha.
and what nature doesn't do, mankind can do to aid nature along.
:D
OH PLASTIC SURGERY, MY FUTURE!
couldn't sleep last night because was really too hyped (translated: hormonally charged)
and my heart was going pitty-pat at all the little thoughts of him.
ha ha, j almost died when i said pangs of love, but i really didn't think i was being too much or anything.
:D
okay but now crisis, i need support.
j and jos need to come back from Chinatown fast and j needs to visit GDSA and give me some attention because- I WANT SOME ATTENTION NOW!
see, this is what happens when you stay awake till 8:00AM in the morning and proceed to sleep through all your lectures only to wake up at 2:00PM where all your friends at LSE still have lectures and are consistently ignoring you and your Aussie friends are nowhere to be found and the Singaporean relatives are too caught up with their lives to care about your personal crisis.
you start suffering from ADHD.
ah lee, you needy pussy :D
starting to talk to self, please will the outside world make some contact with me?
as in, .. you know, so far the day has been an ass to me.
and it's also one of those days when i really think i am really really really damn ugly.
and not in the, oh i'm so disfigured way.
it's in the, sad resignation way like, okay you just got very unlucky in the genetic lottery and you look like a man and your eyes are small and close together and your jaw sticks out and your face is flat and your nose bridge is non-existent.
these are the honest days, i think.
the days when you really see what other people see when they look at you.
LIKE SERIOUSLY DAMN UGLY LA.
omg, if i saw myself on Orchard Rd, i might not even laugh.
i would most possibly put myself in the category of 'so ugly it's not even funny- let's have some pity'.
and Clare, i know you love me a lot that's why you have some blind spot when it comes to me.
loves, loves :)
BUT, i know i need plastic surgery to correct this cruel joke God dealt on me.
oh, btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTHONY JOSEPH JOOSAN TAN!
(i assure you it's pure coincidence asshole day happened on your birthday)
wa, really damn ugly.
and the challenge here is that i must remember this horror because i have this theory where you get used to your own face (obviously) and you start to lose sight of exactly how you look like.
you know how there are days when you think you could actually look presentable?
WELL, THAT'S A LIE.
a delusion, and we must not believe that!
it's the same with other people.
like how even the ugliest fuck doesn't seem as ugly the more you see them because you get used to the distortion.
which is why i only ever trust my first impression of every person i meet so i won't be like all the other people in the world who start raving that some person who is really nothing to look at is the hottest shit on earth even when they didn't think much of them themselves when they first met and the subject has not undergone any major transformation since.
i wish i could see myself for the first time.
i'm sure i would recoil in horror, ha ha.
okay, i'm starting to see the humour in this situation.
i mean, if God's going to play a joke on me, who am i to not laugh at it, right.
ha ha ha.
and what nature doesn't do, mankind can do to aid nature along.
:D
OH PLASTIC SURGERY, MY FUTURE!
couldn't sleep last night because was really too hyped (translated: hormonally charged)
and my heart was going pitty-pat at all the little thoughts of him.
ha ha, j almost died when i said pangs of love, but i really didn't think i was being too much or anything.
:D
okay but now crisis, i need support.
j and jos need to come back from Chinatown fast and j needs to visit GDSA and give me some attention because- I WANT SOME ATTENTION NOW!
see, this is what happens when you stay awake till 8:00AM in the morning and proceed to sleep through all your lectures only to wake up at 2:00PM where all your friends at LSE still have lectures and are consistently ignoring you and your Aussie friends are nowhere to be found and the Singaporean relatives are too caught up with their lives to care about your personal crisis.
you start suffering from ADHD.
ah lee, you needy pussy :D
starting to talk to self, please will the outside world make some contact with me?
Sunday, November 12, 2006
ayep, winter's definitely coming.
and that's very baaaaaad because my mood is very linked to the weather and natural light.
tch, so down now because it's 5:37PM on a sunday and it's dark outside.
):
but on to very much happier things!
went to Borough Market yesterday with j, jos and sharon.
omg, that place is SO cool :D
if anything, i think the only thing that londoners do better than singaporeans are the markets.
gawd, the markets are cool.
even the meat don't smell as foul (but i think that's because it's cold, and not due to some extraordinary talent of the locals)
and all the other stuff!
ah... definitely going there more, hee hee.
later, our excitement got the better of us and we ended up slumped all over the sofas at the Bankside reception.
at 5:00PM, went to the bridge to look at fireworks.
WAA, DAMN PRETTY!
i was completely entranced.
of course, i also realised what a simple creature i really am when at the end, the other three simultaneously critiqued that it was bloody nothing at all, especially compared to Singapore's.
:/
but nevermind, and it was still an hour and a half before we were due to meet jessika for pancakes (phenomenal ones, from the waxing lyricals of j's and jos')
so Covent Gardens for a spot of window shopping.
and then the food, which was quite good except the manager/boss was the grouchiest fuck on earth and they obviously hated us.
BUT NEVERMIND!
because i'm sure everybody loved the pancakes enough to go back.
(:
long walk back via Millenium Bridge where had happy chat with jessika about past IJ trends.
ha ha ha, shit, i miss those days when we made such a mission out of going to Evita Peroni in search of the perfect hairband in the perfect shade of pink.
for the record, IJTP girls preferred going to Livia :D
then phonecall from max who was high on sexual pleasure, gabbing on about perfect tits.
HA HA HA.
j and i were quite appalled.
not to mention in disbelief, never actually putting much stock in what we'd always perceived as an imaginery 'the Max Wu Charm'.
ha ha, whatever man.
and today, we went to Marylebone Village!
i went in search of silk ribbons and random pieces of vintage cloth.
but the ribbon shop was closed ):
still, we had a very happy time at the vegetarian restaurant and other random shops.
and then it got dark and i thought of my dinky room with all the non-working lamps and i got so saaaaaaaaad ):
but anyway, i have since repaired 2/3 of my ruined lights and am feeling decidedly better.
OH, and yesterday i realised that i am actually immensely unhappy in King's.
like, thoroughly miserable.
i know it's hard to believe since i have been quite the hyper-vibrating-on-higher-frequency girl, BUT, it's true okay.
i am not happy at King's.
):
i just didn't realise it before because i've been eerily pleased about life in general.
it's like..... uh.
being in ACJC and only knowing the few people who are in the science stream and can actually speak chinese.
that was a very weird analogy, i hope you get it.
(i'm trying to be very... cryptic so people i don't know won't get it and ha ha ha, loser, you're not in on the whole thing -smug.)
contract tutorial tomorrow... plehh.
i had a dream last night about my sister coming to london to shop with me.
i hope it comes true.
):
okay, i know i still don't have much to complain about because i'm considerably luckier than about... half the civilized world.
AND, that's not even counting in the fact that within the next six months or so, i am going to Birmingham, Warwick, Paris, Barcelona, Norway and Hoooooooooome!
:D
also, small plans to visit and shop at Notting Hill, Primrose Hill, Chelsea and Camden in the next few weeks or so.
(necessary since i've sworn off the high street in general because they mainly represent phillip green and i don't think the man should be getting any richer- at least not from my money.)
... okay, i'm really quite the lucky fuck on paper, aren't i?
luckier than you!
ha ha ha, sorry i don't know where that came from.
STAB ME!
:D
(but psssst! j's even better because she's going to all those places plus Brazil and Scotland- ha ha, poke her too!)
OH, and i almost forgot.
Lake District also on the itinerary.
!!
i like flowers and fireworks! :D
sorry, excessive usage of hyperbole.
i only realised it when i suddenly felt myself at the verge of a hyperventilating fit.
so influenced by punctuation, me.
ha ha.
very fat, i need plastic surgery.
-
hello maggles, very good! BUT that means before what could be reasonably counted as recently, you did not develop any tender feelings for my blog. so that would be not so good. ha ha.
brendannnnnnnn, my hair is being a bitch to me. -whines
quick, quick! RECOMMENDATIONS.
:D
and that's very baaaaaad because my mood is very linked to the weather and natural light.
tch, so down now because it's 5:37PM on a sunday and it's dark outside.
):
but on to very much happier things!
went to Borough Market yesterday with j, jos and sharon.
omg, that place is SO cool :D
if anything, i think the only thing that londoners do better than singaporeans are the markets.
gawd, the markets are cool.
even the meat don't smell as foul (but i think that's because it's cold, and not due to some extraordinary talent of the locals)
and all the other stuff!
ah... definitely going there more, hee hee.
later, our excitement got the better of us and we ended up slumped all over the sofas at the Bankside reception.
at 5:00PM, went to the bridge to look at fireworks.
WAA, DAMN PRETTY!
i was completely entranced.
of course, i also realised what a simple creature i really am when at the end, the other three simultaneously critiqued that it was bloody nothing at all, especially compared to Singapore's.
:/
but nevermind, and it was still an hour and a half before we were due to meet jessika for pancakes (phenomenal ones, from the waxing lyricals of j's and jos')
so Covent Gardens for a spot of window shopping.
and then the food, which was quite good except the manager/boss was the grouchiest fuck on earth and they obviously hated us.
BUT NEVERMIND!
because i'm sure everybody loved the pancakes enough to go back.
(:
long walk back via Millenium Bridge where had happy chat with jessika about past IJ trends.
ha ha ha, shit, i miss those days when we made such a mission out of going to Evita Peroni in search of the perfect hairband in the perfect shade of pink.
for the record, IJTP girls preferred going to Livia :D
then phonecall from max who was high on sexual pleasure, gabbing on about perfect tits.
HA HA HA.
j and i were quite appalled.
not to mention in disbelief, never actually putting much stock in what we'd always perceived as an imaginery 'the Max Wu Charm'.
ha ha, whatever man.
and today, we went to Marylebone Village!
i went in search of silk ribbons and random pieces of vintage cloth.
but the ribbon shop was closed ):
still, we had a very happy time at the vegetarian restaurant and other random shops.
and then it got dark and i thought of my dinky room with all the non-working lamps and i got so saaaaaaaaad ):
but anyway, i have since repaired 2/3 of my ruined lights and am feeling decidedly better.
OH, and yesterday i realised that i am actually immensely unhappy in King's.
like, thoroughly miserable.
i know it's hard to believe since i have been quite the hyper-vibrating-on-higher-frequency girl, BUT, it's true okay.
i am not happy at King's.
):
i just didn't realise it before because i've been eerily pleased about life in general.
it's like..... uh.
being in ACJC and only knowing the few people who are in the science stream and can actually speak chinese.
that was a very weird analogy, i hope you get it.
(i'm trying to be very... cryptic so people i don't know won't get it and ha ha ha, loser, you're not in on the whole thing -smug.)
contract tutorial tomorrow... plehh.
i had a dream last night about my sister coming to london to shop with me.
i hope it comes true.
):
okay, i know i still don't have much to complain about because i'm considerably luckier than about... half the civilized world.
AND, that's not even counting in the fact that within the next six months or so, i am going to Birmingham, Warwick, Paris, Barcelona, Norway and Hoooooooooome!
:D
also, small plans to visit and shop at Notting Hill, Primrose Hill, Chelsea and Camden in the next few weeks or so.
(necessary since i've sworn off the high street in general because they mainly represent phillip green and i don't think the man should be getting any richer- at least not from my money.)
... okay, i'm really quite the lucky fuck on paper, aren't i?
luckier than you!
ha ha ha, sorry i don't know where that came from.
STAB ME!
:D
(but psssst! j's even better because she's going to all those places plus Brazil and Scotland- ha ha, poke her too!)
OH, and i almost forgot.
Lake District also on the itinerary.
!!
i like flowers and fireworks! :D
sorry, excessive usage of hyperbole.
i only realised it when i suddenly felt myself at the verge of a hyperventilating fit.
so influenced by punctuation, me.
ha ha.
very fat, i need plastic surgery.
-
hello maggles, very good! BUT that means before what could be reasonably counted as recently, you did not develop any tender feelings for my blog. so that would be not so good. ha ha.
brendannnnnnnn, my hair is being a bitch to me. -whines
quick, quick! RECOMMENDATIONS.
:D
Thursday, November 09, 2006
wow man, quite irritated that my mom's firm's name has changed to scrap all partners' names but one.
but will reserve judgement as yet to see if more money can be made.
such said because i think there are two main reasons for being a lawyer, namely that of fame or fortune.
so if the name's scrapped, that leaves the fortune.
now, we wait to see if the annual turnover goes beyond 5 million.
if it does, then stuffed shut my mouth shall stay.
if it doesn't, oh, all hell will break loose.
but on to happier things...
mainly that of, well, me being happy again.
because the bastard's no longer a bastard.
:D
out of point.
last night, we had an interesting MSN sojourn!
not so, because the other party/parties wasn't quite as cooperative as i would've liked.
but funny all the same because... i'm just bored enough to find such stupid things funny.
(:
j, not so amused.
BUT,
quite funny all the same.
also, Jet concert at Brixton last night.
as josie told me on the train back home, that's another thing to add to my Done List:-
sleeping through a rock concert.
i really don't know how i managed it since it was a very loud concert and crazy people were hopping and air-guitaring all over the place.
but sleep i did, and it was one hell of a sleep too.
never been much of a music lover, anywayyyyyyy.
(though i'd be hard-pressed to think that music)
yay, j's gonna do my criminal law essay for me
and i'm gonna do her contract essay.
whoopee!
fucking hate criminal law.
and just randomly,
i don't like it when people i don't know/don't like read my blog.
YES, YOU.
if you have the slightest inclination to believe that i might not like you, then it's probably right and indeed, i do not like you.
which will mean that i have made it clear in some way in the past how i might detest you,
and therefore mean that you do not like me too.
SO STOP SPYING ON ME YOU FUCKTARD.
(but don't worry, you're not alone- many people detest me and randomly read here to try catch me out on morally questionable things i say or other shit to that effect; oh, fuckyou. really)
keep thinking how people just bloody change a goddamn address when they encounter such irritations.
but i have an attachment for all things mine, so i bloody am not moving anywhere.
also think password protect is such a pussy thing to do.
and come to think of it, that's because i firmly believe that if you have an online thing, then it's fair game to everyone else.
which would mean i'm being very self-defeating here with my double standards.
but what the hell, woman's prerogative.
...
oh fuck you, read la.
/edit
i forgot to add that toon added me on facebook.
wahlao damn high la :D
j and i were bloody hyper over it, which is quite loser i know, but toon is very pretty so reaction's justified.
AND, Britney is finally divorcing K-Fed; MWAHA.
-
babyyyyyyy, i love youuuuuuuuuuuu..!
very random,
have no friends in tutorials- i think they all hate me but what's new eh.
have french later- hate french people, they scare me.
got criminal essay undone- fucking hate criminal law.
very cold- yes, very fucking cold and the heater is seriously retarded.
very tired- but strangely awake, i feel like an owl sitting on a porcupine... i don't even know where that came from.
my life is really lousy now,
but okay la, still relatively serene and happy.
i know, it's nauseating isn't it?
ah, fat joke fat joke.
!
and...............
this week is about to end.
FINAL-FUCKING-LY
okay stop reading la, really, isn't it obvious that i am just randomly hitting the keys and typing for the sake of typing?
there is no content here.
everybody's having exams and i have no fuckinggggg friendds!
-sings.
fucking paranoid loser, lee.
btw, i think i am the reincarnation of Machiavelli.
ya, i know very out of point, but i really think my entire life's philosophy has been unknowingly based upon Machiavellian thoughts.
but okay don't believe me because i also think i am the reincarnation of Cleopatra and the Empress Dowager Yehonara.
but more the Empress Dowager because i think it's much cooler to be the one woman who brought down the Qing Dynasty then to be the hot woman who knew 11 languages and shagged Julius Caesar and Marc Antony.
oh but then Cleopatra died from a snake bite, like... isn't it cool- Cause of Death: Poisoning from bite of Egyptian Asp.
i saw this Chanel bag the other day that i would sell my soul for.
and i really like Coco Chanel- cool woman, that one.
yes, definitely into women of power.
have decided to re-evaluate thoughts about Dolce (heh heh heh, somehow still cannot stop self from pronouncing the name with thinly veiled sarcasm "dollllllll-chaaayyyyy")
i don't think she's as powerhouse as i was made to believe she is.
must go and see for myself first... yes.
i still wonder why would anybody name their kid Dolce.
such a cruel and unusual punishment.
but anyway, she evidently has more power than most people in ctc so must keep negative comments in rein until actually see how this person really looks like.
i cannot believe i haven't actually seen this person up close.
especially when i've heard so much i feel like she's a childhood friend.
need to be linguist.
want to be Anna Wintour- female role model, i tell you.
so don't mess.
need her attitude to conquer the world, think yes, am -OMFG IS THAT THUNDER I HEAR?! NO IF YOU RAIN I WILL FUCKING SLIT MY THROAT NOW- okay where was i, yeah i think i can be evil enough.
but after my ______ in the summer, i'm not so sure about being a cold-blooded bitch.
i just want to stay home to water the plants and pick lint off the sofa set or whatever.
this is very difficult.
i have to re-invent my entire life to accomodate this... i don't even have a word for it.
tch.
i think it's a good sign though, that i actually don't want to be a heartless bitch.
i'm trying, i'm trying!
but it's all conflicting, cannot cannot.
cannot multi-task and i don't even know which i want to compromise or give up.
because i want to be a benign housewifely sort.
but is that possible when my entire constitution is based upon power-hungriness?
AIKES LATE LATE LATE.
okay, that was me sorting through my thoughts.
welcome to the world of my convoluted thought processes.
i sincerely hope no one reads till this point because you're gonna think i am schizophrenic.
very cold.
but will reserve judgement as yet to see if more money can be made.
such said because i think there are two main reasons for being a lawyer, namely that of fame or fortune.
so if the name's scrapped, that leaves the fortune.
now, we wait to see if the annual turnover goes beyond 5 million.
if it does, then stuffed shut my mouth shall stay.
if it doesn't, oh, all hell will break loose.
but on to happier things...
mainly that of, well, me being happy again.
because the bastard's no longer a bastard.
:D
out of point.
last night, we had an interesting MSN sojourn!
not so, because the other party/parties wasn't quite as cooperative as i would've liked.
but funny all the same because... i'm just bored enough to find such stupid things funny.
(:
j, not so amused.
BUT,
quite funny all the same.
also, Jet concert at Brixton last night.
as josie told me on the train back home, that's another thing to add to my Done List:-
sleeping through a rock concert.
i really don't know how i managed it since it was a very loud concert and crazy people were hopping and air-guitaring all over the place.
but sleep i did, and it was one hell of a sleep too.
never been much of a music lover, anywayyyyyyy.
(though i'd be hard-pressed to think that music)
yay, j's gonna do my criminal law essay for me
and i'm gonna do her contract essay.
whoopee!
fucking hate criminal law.
and just randomly,
i don't like it when people i don't know/don't like read my blog.
YES, YOU.
if you have the slightest inclination to believe that i might not like you, then it's probably right and indeed, i do not like you.
which will mean that i have made it clear in some way in the past how i might detest you,
and therefore mean that you do not like me too.
SO STOP SPYING ON ME YOU FUCKTARD.
(but don't worry, you're not alone- many people detest me and randomly read here to try catch me out on morally questionable things i say or other shit to that effect; oh, fuckyou. really)
keep thinking how people just bloody change a goddamn address when they encounter such irritations.
but i have an attachment for all things mine, so i bloody am not moving anywhere.
also think password protect is such a pussy thing to do.
and come to think of it, that's because i firmly believe that if you have an online thing, then it's fair game to everyone else.
which would mean i'm being very self-defeating here with my double standards.
but what the hell, woman's prerogative.
...
oh fuck you, read la.
/edit
i forgot to add that toon added me on facebook.
wahlao damn high la :D
j and i were bloody hyper over it, which is quite loser i know, but toon is very pretty so reaction's justified.
AND, Britney is finally divorcing K-Fed; MWAHA.
-
babyyyyyyy, i love youuuuuuuuuuuu..!
very random,
have no friends in tutorials- i think they all hate me but what's new eh.
have french later- hate french people, they scare me.
got criminal essay undone- fucking hate criminal law.
very cold- yes, very fucking cold and the heater is seriously retarded.
very tired- but strangely awake, i feel like an owl sitting on a porcupine... i don't even know where that came from.
my life is really lousy now,
but okay la, still relatively serene and happy.
i know, it's nauseating isn't it?
ah, fat joke fat joke.
!
and...............
this week is about to end.
FINAL-FUCKING-LY
okay stop reading la, really, isn't it obvious that i am just randomly hitting the keys and typing for the sake of typing?
there is no content here.
everybody's having exams and i have no fuckinggggg friendds!
-sings.
fucking paranoid loser, lee.
btw, i think i am the reincarnation of Machiavelli.
ya, i know very out of point, but i really think my entire life's philosophy has been unknowingly based upon Machiavellian thoughts.
but okay don't believe me because i also think i am the reincarnation of Cleopatra and the Empress Dowager Yehonara.
but more the Empress Dowager because i think it's much cooler to be the one woman who brought down the Qing Dynasty then to be the hot woman who knew 11 languages and shagged Julius Caesar and Marc Antony.
oh but then Cleopatra died from a snake bite, like... isn't it cool- Cause of Death: Poisoning from bite of Egyptian Asp.
i saw this Chanel bag the other day that i would sell my soul for.
and i really like Coco Chanel- cool woman, that one.
yes, definitely into women of power.
have decided to re-evaluate thoughts about Dolce (heh heh heh, somehow still cannot stop self from pronouncing the name with thinly veiled sarcasm "dollllllll-chaaayyyyy")
i don't think she's as powerhouse as i was made to believe she is.
must go and see for myself first... yes.
i still wonder why would anybody name their kid Dolce.
such a cruel and unusual punishment.
but anyway, she evidently has more power than most people in ctc so must keep negative comments in rein until actually see how this person really looks like.
i cannot believe i haven't actually seen this person up close.
especially when i've heard so much i feel like she's a childhood friend.
need to be linguist.
want to be Anna Wintour- female role model, i tell you.
so don't mess.
need her attitude to conquer the world, think yes, am -OMFG IS THAT THUNDER I HEAR?! NO IF YOU RAIN I WILL FUCKING SLIT MY THROAT NOW- okay where was i, yeah i think i can be evil enough.
but after my ______ in the summer, i'm not so sure about being a cold-blooded bitch.
i just want to stay home to water the plants and pick lint off the sofa set or whatever.
this is very difficult.
i have to re-invent my entire life to accomodate this... i don't even have a word for it.
tch.
i think it's a good sign though, that i actually don't want to be a heartless bitch.
i'm trying, i'm trying!
but it's all conflicting, cannot cannot.
cannot multi-task and i don't even know which i want to compromise or give up.
because i want to be a benign housewifely sort.
but is that possible when my entire constitution is based upon power-hungriness?
AIKES LATE LATE LATE.
okay, that was me sorting through my thoughts.
welcome to the world of my convoluted thought processes.
i sincerely hope no one reads till this point because you're gonna think i am schizophrenic.
very cold.
Monday, November 06, 2006
OMG, I AM SO STRESSED.
fuck fuck fuck,
it's like suddenly everything's coming in a rush and i am damn scared ):
and last night at 12:35 Marcus smsed to ask for help on our EU Law essay.
first thing i thought, what EU Law essay?
second thing i thought, OHMYFUCKINGGOD.
yes folks, that's right.
i have officially not known about the existence of an essay till like, the day before it's due.
thank you, thank you very much.
OH MAN, I WANT TO GO HOME NOW LA.
MOMMYYYYY.
):
so today was perhaps one of the worst days i've had since i returned this fall.
(but seeing that i've been eerily happy, it should most definitely be the worst day, since i was absolutely unhappy today)
and i am in no mood to blog, but it's just a lesser evil compared to going back to the fucking EU essay which i have written but one line and still have no idea what else to write even though Elaine has been absolutely darling about it and sent me her finished essay to reference.
too bad we have the same tutor or i can shamelessly plagiarize.
except of course, she is so nice that i wouldn't be able to do it either.
BUT STILL.
anyway, my weekend also sucked marginally because i was given a fat kick in the... ): heart.
and i have been so pussy about it that J has given me trashing after trashing about it.
ha ha, so loser- i don't want to talk about it.
but since i told J i was going to blog about her and him, then okay lor.
so he.. like that.
and then i.. like that.
and then j cannot take it, then.. like that.
AIYA VERY PUSSY LA I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
j is coercing me on MSN now.
so to cut a long, long, painful story short, i am damn sprung and J thinks it's both very funny and horrific at the same time.
but anyway, she also has all these funny CMI things, so we spent a happy time in PowerSushi discussing all the stupid shit.
okay shit, its midnight already.
i'm supposed to properly start work at 12:00MN
and work through the night.
and then go out for Mac's breakfast at 6:00AM
):
i don't want.
okay, pardon me if this post has been incoherent.
i am merely stressed out and unhappy.
and i'm sure that at least a little bit of it has to be because of that cheebye.
so... FUCK YOU LA LCZM!
:D
and J, wo ai ni, okay!
-
P.S: it's a dog's life in university. Rarrr!
fuck fuck fuck,
it's like suddenly everything's coming in a rush and i am damn scared ):
and last night at 12:35 Marcus smsed to ask for help on our EU Law essay.
first thing i thought, what EU Law essay?
second thing i thought, OHMYFUCKINGGOD.
yes folks, that's right.
i have officially not known about the existence of an essay till like, the day before it's due.
thank you, thank you very much.
OH MAN, I WANT TO GO HOME NOW LA.
MOMMYYYYY.
):
so today was perhaps one of the worst days i've had since i returned this fall.
(but seeing that i've been eerily happy, it should most definitely be the worst day, since i was absolutely unhappy today)
and i am in no mood to blog, but it's just a lesser evil compared to going back to the fucking EU essay which i have written but one line and still have no idea what else to write even though Elaine has been absolutely darling about it and sent me her finished essay to reference.
too bad we have the same tutor or i can shamelessly plagiarize.
except of course, she is so nice that i wouldn't be able to do it either.
BUT STILL.
anyway, my weekend also sucked marginally because i was given a fat kick in the... ): heart.
and i have been so pussy about it that J has given me trashing after trashing about it.
ha ha, so loser- i don't want to talk about it.
but since i told J i was going to blog about her and him, then okay lor.
so he.. like that.
and then i.. like that.
and then j cannot take it, then.. like that.
AIYA VERY PUSSY LA I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
j is coercing me on MSN now.
so to cut a long, long, painful story short, i am damn sprung and J thinks it's both very funny and horrific at the same time.
but anyway, she also has all these funny CMI things, so we spent a happy time in PowerSushi discussing all the stupid shit.
okay shit, its midnight already.
i'm supposed to properly start work at 12:00MN
and work through the night.
and then go out for Mac's breakfast at 6:00AM
):
i don't want.
okay, pardon me if this post has been incoherent.
i am merely stressed out and unhappy.
and i'm sure that at least a little bit of it has to be because of that cheebye.
so... FUCK YOU LA LCZM!
:D
and J, wo ai ni, okay!
-
P.S: it's a dog's life in university. Rarrr!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
"I'm impressed."
"Well, I'm in love."
-
Cruel Intentions gets me everytime.
(:
anywayyy, i am very fucked now over school and it's all because of Mr. Vyeas
that's my laptop.
and Yes, i named it.
bite me.
so i need to spend less time doing worthless things on my computer and instead do something worthwhile such as cleaning up my room and reading up on all my work.
trashed my room yesterday looking for my handphone (which, incidentally, doubles as my alarm clock and was flung quite unceremoniously.. somewhere, when it woke me up at a time when i was so exhausted i was hallucinating)
get this,
i sincerely thought i texted jos telling her i was going to meet her somewhere else so i could sleep longer but when i woke up, i realized that i hadn't actually done that and i really have no idea what the hell i actually did when i was supposed to have texted her telling her that i was going to meet her somewhere else.
then it hit me that i must've texted her with the other phone (the alarm clock) except somehow it didn't occur to me that it's my Singtel number and i don't have jos' UK number saved there.
thing is, i also didn't realise that her number wasn't saved there which must mean that i must have grabbed the phone, pressed something in randomly and passed out before any sending could've been done.
yeah, fuck man.
tell me about it.
:/
that was the day we went to Croydon and when Jos couldn't be found because she overslept too.
our sleeping schedules are so fucked it's actually funny (in a fully perverse way, of course)
that day was also the day i suddenly realised that i'm actually starting to like the UK.
like,"Hey! I could actually live in this country!"-
as long as there's still a better home country i can look forward to going back to, obviously.
AND, also realised that i really don't miss CTC.
was telling jos as we huffed up Park Hill (bloody park didn't seem so big when we were still in the school. WHAT HAPPENED?!) that i know going to CTC was probably one of the best things that had ever happened to me because it turned my screwed up life around, but i don't have feelings for it, and i definitely don't miss it.
nope, i've moved on, i have.
not that i hated the place, or didn't like the people or anything.
i mean, really had a lot of cool friends.
(though obviously there were also a lot of people who managed to annoy me, judging from the number of nasty posts and corresponding increase in hits i had)
and Mr Norman, definitely a huge plus point.
plus, love going back to visit the other inmates who are still incarcerated.
:D
but i still don't miss the place.
ha ha, whatever.
i think it's the one place where i wasn't ever really myself because half the time i was just so... scared.
i was terrified almost every bloody minute that it was starting to feel like a way of life.
and feeling like i owed the world something.
not a nice feeling, i tell you.
oh well, happy now.
not really because just suffered a blow and i think i am actually still quite... ):
j gave me such a trashing for it just now when we had dinner.
but you know.
actually...
velly pain leh, me heart.
...CHANGE SUBJECT.
i need to learn some major eye makeup skills.
keep doing all these smudging and brushing on photoshop which makes my eyes look so happy and I WANT THEM ON MY REAL EYES.
but i also need to find out how to play with photoshop so i can simulate other kinds of makeup har har.
all i can do now are the eyes.
the lips are beyond me.
BEYOND, I TELL YOU.
damn man, it hurts.
):
"Well, I'm in love."
-
Cruel Intentions gets me everytime.
(:
anywayyy, i am very fucked now over school and it's all because of Mr. Vyeas
that's my laptop.
and Yes, i named it.
bite me.
so i need to spend less time doing worthless things on my computer and instead do something worthwhile such as cleaning up my room and reading up on all my work.
trashed my room yesterday looking for my handphone (which, incidentally, doubles as my alarm clock and was flung quite unceremoniously.. somewhere, when it woke me up at a time when i was so exhausted i was hallucinating)
get this,
i sincerely thought i texted jos telling her i was going to meet her somewhere else so i could sleep longer but when i woke up, i realized that i hadn't actually done that and i really have no idea what the hell i actually did when i was supposed to have texted her telling her that i was going to meet her somewhere else.
then it hit me that i must've texted her with the other phone (the alarm clock) except somehow it didn't occur to me that it's my Singtel number and i don't have jos' UK number saved there.
thing is, i also didn't realise that her number wasn't saved there which must mean that i must have grabbed the phone, pressed something in randomly and passed out before any sending could've been done.
yeah, fuck man.
tell me about it.
:/
that was the day we went to Croydon and when Jos couldn't be found because she overslept too.
our sleeping schedules are so fucked it's actually funny (in a fully perverse way, of course)
that day was also the day i suddenly realised that i'm actually starting to like the UK.
like,"Hey! I could actually live in this country!"-
as long as there's still a better home country i can look forward to going back to, obviously.
AND, also realised that i really don't miss CTC.
was telling jos as we huffed up Park Hill (bloody park didn't seem so big when we were still in the school. WHAT HAPPENED?!) that i know going to CTC was probably one of the best things that had ever happened to me because it turned my screwed up life around, but i don't have feelings for it, and i definitely don't miss it.
nope, i've moved on, i have.
not that i hated the place, or didn't like the people or anything.
i mean, really had a lot of cool friends.
(though obviously there were also a lot of people who managed to annoy me, judging from the number of nasty posts and corresponding increase in hits i had)
and Mr Norman, definitely a huge plus point.
plus, love going back to visit the other inmates who are still incarcerated.
:D
but i still don't miss the place.
ha ha, whatever.
i think it's the one place where i wasn't ever really myself because half the time i was just so... scared.
i was terrified almost every bloody minute that it was starting to feel like a way of life.
and feeling like i owed the world something.
not a nice feeling, i tell you.
oh well, happy now.
not really because just suffered a blow and i think i am actually still quite... ):
j gave me such a trashing for it just now when we had dinner.
but you know.
actually...
velly pain leh, me heart.
...CHANGE SUBJECT.
i need to learn some major eye makeup skills.
keep doing all these smudging and brushing on photoshop which makes my eyes look so happy and I WANT THEM ON MY REAL EYES.
but i also need to find out how to play with photoshop so i can simulate other kinds of makeup har har.
all i can do now are the eyes.
the lips are beyond me.
BEYOND, I TELL YOU.
damn man, it hurts.
):
Friday, November 03, 2006
omg, josie cannot be found!
and we were supposed to go down to croydon todayyyyy.
oh whines, whines, whines.
if she doesn't come into contact with the civilized world by noon, i am marching up to her place and persuading the security guard into letting me in so i can wreck havoc upon her head.
hope it'll be the one who knows me because i'm there everyday.
though actually, if the other one who doesn't care for noise also can :D
josie ni zai na li.
anyway, have decided that definitely do not like french men.
they are weird and the give me the heebie-jeebies with their delicate french sensibilities.
:/
yesterday, i also discovered the joys of Photoshop!
i tell you, i am actually a very talented makeup artist deep inside.
seriously.
ask anybody! (well, ask jos anyway)
tonight, j will be attempting to cook.
note i said, attempting to cook, and not will be cooking.
the ambitious creature wanted some chinese wedding ten-course with the steamed fish and all.
so jos and i also had to spend a significant part of yesterday's walk to Bankside convincing her that if it were that easy to cook, she really wouldn't need two maids at home.
but anyway... at least i'm still quite sure the salad should turn up okay.
:D
AIYA JOSIE WHERE ARE YOU
HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTYYYYYYY......!
):
and we were supposed to go down to croydon todayyyyy.
oh whines, whines, whines.
if she doesn't come into contact with the civilized world by noon, i am marching up to her place and persuading the security guard into letting me in so i can wreck havoc upon her head.
hope it'll be the one who knows me because i'm there everyday.
though actually, if the other one who doesn't care for noise also can :D
josie ni zai na li.
anyway, have decided that definitely do not like french men.
they are weird and the give me the heebie-jeebies with their delicate french sensibilities.
:/
yesterday, i also discovered the joys of Photoshop!
i tell you, i am actually a very talented makeup artist deep inside.
seriously.
ask anybody! (well, ask jos anyway)
tonight, j will be attempting to cook.
note i said, attempting to cook, and not will be cooking.
the ambitious creature wanted some chinese wedding ten-course with the steamed fish and all.
so jos and i also had to spend a significant part of yesterday's walk to Bankside convincing her that if it were that easy to cook, she really wouldn't need two maids at home.
but anyway... at least i'm still quite sure the salad should turn up okay.
:D
AIYA JOSIE WHERE ARE YOU
HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTYYYYYYY......!
):