Friday, February 25, 2005
okay, yesterday it rained.
and someone told me a long time ago that when it rains, the next day it gets warmer.
like the stupid kid i am, i believed it.
so yesterday, i went to sleep expecting to wake up to sunshine and chirping birds.
and today,
I BLOODY WOKE UP TO A SNOWSTORM.
gaaaah!
so anyway, since i'm early to school and will not slouch off to the library to study yet,
let me lament the fact that my life is monotonous.
like okay, why is it that no matter where i go, it's always SO boring?
(we'll discount the fact i chose this schol because its a study school)
i'm beginning to think it's just me.
yes, that's right.
it's just me.
i just don't attract the good fun kind of karma.
you know, you know?!
i need like phoon to attract the good fun karma for me because she's the kind with the good fun karma and like, whenever she's around, i get good fun too.
geddit?
):
why don't i have good fun karma?!
-wails.
and it's not like even if i came here, i could have a more than 0.00001% chance of getting into cambridge anyway.
UGH.
why the fuck do i always make all those saintly decisions which i eventually regret anyway because, bloody it, i am not saintly.
but darn it.
whatever.
i bet even if i ended up in ACJC, i'll still lead a darn boring life simply because i cannot seem to attract good fun karma.
oh woe betide me.
"£$%^&*!
WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE CAN BE IN THE SAME COUNTRY AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND SOME DONT?
):
am currently going through a personal crisis.
my sister who promised to always be online and available is well, not.
and my mom who i smsed last night to call me so as to help me through my crisis evidently didn't receive my sms or just doesn't believe it's really an emergency.
i take the former.
DRATTED BRITISH PHONELINE.
-curses.
this place is cursed.
i can take a lousy dinky little school,
i can take a lousy accounting teacher,
i can bloody take living my life without my mom and my maid.
BUT I WILL NOT TAKE IT LYING DOWN WHEN MY MONEY IS BEING SCREWED AROUND.
some white trash, somewhere in this country has absconded with £900 of MY fuckin' money.
i hope he/she (i bet it's a he) catches rabies, has nose cancer and rotting genitals.
so he can run around like a mad dog desiring water but get absolutely freaked out upon seeing it and run around in circles for the rest of his cursed life with a disintegrating nose and maggot-infested genitalia.
-vicious.
charlotte is trying to persuade me into nirvana.
she's trying for sainthood again, don't you know.
ha ha.
because the apocalyspe is near and she desires to end up in God's lap.
she is attaining inner peace.
kudos to her.
i will try for nirvana too.
AFTER I GET MY £900 BACK.
(and see the person who tried to run away with it die a horrible death)
and only then will i attain a higher state of mind, rising above even nirvana.
charlotte is convinced i cannot do it for she says,"nirvana is paramount"
but NO! with money, anything is possible.
i live for money and i will have my money returned to its rightful owner.
something tells me i'm never gonna end up in God's lap.
oh yeah, charlotte found a 'leeyuan seafood trading' on yahoo.
how crass that sounds.
gaaaah!
charlotte thinks it's a hoot anyhow.
and anything to have my friend happy.
oh i, i'm self-sacrificial.
methinks i could end up in God's lap afterall.
(:
just had some oxbridge talk.
whoa man, that was some intimidating shit.
):
the interviews sound so scary, they're scaring me already.
am thinkin' if LSE isn't so tough about admission, wil just go try LSE.
it's a darn pretty school, LSE.
and it's got shops all around.
fun fun.
shit, oxbridge is scary.
ha ha, i want to go to a women's college.
less competition.
and no males.
goody.
newnham college sounds good.
will do more research on it.
will beg my mom to let me work for her in summer hols.
aw, i don't want to work.
-grumbles.
but better gather some work experience.
GAH.
it's still snowing on and off.
no more winterwonderland, though.
my mom just called today and told me that the water in london is dirty and i should buy bottled water instead.
THANKS LAH.
after i've drunk londoner water for almost a month, now she tells me.
blah.
i have less than twenty weeks here!
then i'm going back.
whee (:
i want to go home fast.
see everyone.
see charlotte.
and see clare (and hopefully bri) in july!
god, i am such a boring kid.
i can't find my coat.
and i don't even remember where i could've left it.
have a horrible feeling could have left it in accounting class.
SHIT.
do not want to see that burgerface for more than necessary.
and imagine if i didnt leave it there.
-mutters.
it snowed last night.
woke up to a winterwonderland.
so pretty
-sighs happily.
ha ha, it started snowing in law class yesterday.
like, really heavily.
everybody just plain forgot about the lesson and bounced over to the window to gawk.
and when i was doing my econs homework last night, it snowed really heavily again.
i couldn't continue with my econs homework after that.
was crouched over my windowsill, face pressed against the wondow squinting into the darkness trying to see the snow.
ooh (:
i concede that snow is really nice.
as in, the fluttery floaty sort.
not those chunks of crushed ice like last time.
was wishing for a comfy chair, a good book and a fireplace.
maybe a fluffy cat or two.
ha ha ha.
watching snow fall is such a nice pastime.
too bad it's all slushy now.
damn shitass ugly.
it's fuckin' cold
and the buses are always full now.
that sucks.
just had econs lesson.
so sad.
i heard everyone else went off to the park to play with the snow.
i hope it snows again today.
econs is so boring.
she's so boring, she bores even herself.
she doesn't even know what she's droning, i bet.
once, she was supposed to say something like, rise in income so people might decide to buy a bigger car.
but she was so half asleep, she went," they might decide to buy a bigger cat."
like okay, whatever.
everytime we have econs, the class falls into a deep slumber within the first 15 mins.
rather like professor binns of harry potter.
had a nice half term.
went to london.
first day, we went to the british museum, which is singularly the one place in the UK i really really wanted to visit.
visited the egyptian wing.
one more thing to cross off my list of 'places to see before death'
am happy.
love the british museum.
it's one grand place.
the library took my breath away.
just like the library in beauty and the beast.
just bigger.
next day, went london to shop mostly.
had nice malaysian food and teh tarik for lunch.
ho ho.
then bought earrings at accessorize since bloody left ear lobe suddenly became very infected and swelled so bad.
as if ear isnt already reminiscent of buddha's.
-grumbles.
then went book shopping.
found johanna lindsey book which couldnt find anywhere in singapore for the last few months.
was very satisfied with self.
think sanny is so cute.
ha ha.
rotted at home on sat.
went out to study with wanjing on sunday.
was v nice.
sat at starbucks and talked about stnicks and affiliated topics.
love stnicks.
am glad have stnicks girl here with me.
am glad it's wanjing too.
do think she's v nice.
ha ha.
this has been a lengthy entry.
pretty boring too, since it all isnt much.
wished had brought digicam here.
gah.
have to find sanny for help in accounting.
still cannot stand burger.
puii.
btw, what's with the verbal meanness from chris to chris?
not understanding that very much.
clare, i miss you mucho mucho.
have fun a trinity
):
bri, i just thought i should thank you since that day i was making a list of favourite songs, and 90% of them were from bsb.
thanks for the lovely bsb mania we had.
:D
phoon, SHIT. call me will you? i tried to call you, but i failed. and i don't even know why! ):
it's only about twenty more weeks before im back in singapore.
let it pass fast.
okay, my blogger clock says it's 11 59 now.
shall wait a minute.
.
.
.
OKAY! it's a minute! haa.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIMSY DIMSY!
:D
ho ho ho.
i wanted to sms, but then think a bit, better not.
cos the reception is terrible.
don't even know if you can receive.
i sent a few smses to you before.
did you get it?
tell me can?
anyway, i think this is the first of your birthdays i'm not around for.
how old are you again?
oh yar. 15
so old.
ho ho.
have a nice birthday anyhows!
love love.
yes, that was dedicated to my curly sister (:
it's damned cold today.
and NOBODY HAS EMAILED ME.
no one at all.
clare chan wai man, you better have a good explaination for this.
-huffs.
it's half term hols tommorrow.
josephine and about half the school are going to paris.
wanjing huiqi and i are going to london.
YAY.
even though paris sounds better, london isn't bad too.
i hope it's fun.
i plan to go there on thursday, friday and saturday!
whee.
it better be fun, or i'll have three lousy days in a row.
the english IELTS exams are like, next sat.
i didn't even know.
but shit, i just founf out how lenient the teacher is here.
i handed in that crap piece of work on issues that the government could tackle.
like, it was seriously slip-shod.
i said really senseless things like 'singaporeans are, as a nation, naturally subservient to the government.'
if i even dared hand that in in stnicks, angela jacob would be very concerned.
and i got an 8 for it.
9 is full marks, i think.
like, what the hell.
i shouldnt be taking this exam.
no singaporean should.
-grumbles.
am going out for dinner with wanjing and all.
can't seem to get hold of my hostess though.
shall call again.
btw, clare?
email me fast.
haha, i want to bitch.
-conspiratorial look.
i can't go online.
-sulks.
doggoned IT technician.
the weather's fuckin' cold, and last night i surprised even myself by how fuckingly nerdlike i am.
i went home and finished my econs homework due today, found i didnt have anything else to do, so read my textbooks for ALL of the subjects i take.
and even when i finished reading them, i didnt feel right because it was 930 yet, so as a last resort, did long econs homework due next next week.
uber bloody wierd, how anal i am about schoolwork n0w.
ah fuck,
just remembered am fuckin supposed to clean up my fucking language.
fuck, fuck, fucketty fuck.
it's all bridget jones's fault.
i read the damned woman's diary and now i'm cussing like a despearate thirty year old vice filled woman too.
fuck.
nevermind.
clare is going back in july.
can see clare in 6 months time.
am very happy.
at least pessimistic prediction about seeing them all in about ten years time is wrong.
this is one of those few little times when im glad im wrong.
ooh, think mark darcy is very hot.
(see, SEE? am even starting to have same sentiments as BJ!)
i scare myself sometimes.
to charlotte and anyone else who's interested: if you haven't yet read timeline by michael crichton, PLEASE DO.
makes you wish you understood quantum physics.
you know, i wish i actually understood basic physics, so i might have a chance at understanding quantum physics.
but oh well, not really a bad thing that i marvel at the complexities of science.
wouldn't be much fun if knew everything and didn't gawk in awe at something.
ha ha, do not make much sense.
wonder why am talking like bridget jones.
way of writing v addictive.
ARGH.
i have changed my number.
it's 07871279531.
damned british numbers.
so long.
please call and sms a lot, people.
(:
okay, i always have tons to say, but when i come to blog, i forget everything.
my sister looks damn good in the cny photos.
bit fat though.
but who am i to say, eh.
hoho.
i am so proud of her.
just had econs test.
PLEAH.
didnt know which bloody graph was which.
am slacking away now in the IT room.
i like the IT room.
just bought bridget jones edge of reason.
i like mark darcy a lot.
top-notch barrister, eh.
JUST MY KIND.
ha ha.
what i didnt understand was why he had to go for a law society dinner.
isn't the law society for solicitors?
shouldn't he, as a barrister go to his own inn or something for dinner?
oh okay, nevermind.
something tells me i'm a bit too enamoured with my law textbook.
there's a hotel here called 'swan & sugarloaf'.
how quaint and enid blyton.
(:
but the place it's situated and the shape of it?
spells of bad fengshui, i think.
very bad fengshui.
-shakes head solemnly.
ooh OOH.
did i mention that it snowed yesterday?
:D
didn't know it at first.
just thought, "waa fuck, why the rain so noisy?"
then i discovered that the exceptionally noisy rain was actually solid.
for a moment there, i was convinced they were hailstones.
but too small.
so i concluded that it was snowing.
was standing there just gaping at the window for a damn long time.
so funny.
somehow, snow isn't the romantic, fluttering stuff i envisioned it to be.
just falling ice, actually.
-snorts.
it's valentine's today.
i miss stnicks and all the presents we exchange.
im not gonna get a rose this year.
-sulks.
but anyways, HAPPY VALENTINE'S TO ALL!
i love you all.
:D
i got an A on the law test i thought i was gonna fail.
so happy.
i cant stop being so jubilant.
was so relieved.
i love law.
mr norman is currently the only good teacher i have.
he is damn smart.
ho ho.
oh yeah, i bought some magazine yesterday and the horoscope read:
"after being so sure of what it is you want, a few doubts are creeping back. being frightened or a little apprehensive about change is nothing to worry about. without worries, you'll be too arrogant. accept that there'll be days like these from time to time, but know you'll get through them if you maintain your vision."
and i was like,"wow."
that is singularly the most accurate horoscope shit i've ever read.
i am a believer!
i am, i am!
haha.
oh, and since it is in conjunction with that.
i have gotten a new motto in addition to
'live life to the fullest' (influence of nick carter)
'life is short' (influence of buffy summers)
and it is 'stare decisis at non quieta movere' (influence of law textbook)
just based on the influences, we can all infer that i've matured.
ooh.
i'm a big girl now!
:D
ha ha, so lame.
i declare myself the saddest person in the land.
i have officially (well, i've made it official) failed my accounting test.
my accounting teacher is a bastard from south africa who pronounces 'yes' as 'yiiiiiiis'.
his name is burger, okay?
BURGER.
god.
might as well call yourself fries.
or hotcakes.
-spits.
i am going to either fail or not do well for my law test because i blanked and couldn't concentrate.
okay, kinda my fault.
but very much that old goat invigilator's fault too.
i believe in spreading the blame.
english IELTS is a complete pain in the ass and i am so gonna get that james loh for cheating me into it.
SO MUCH MONEY spent on a completely worthless paper.
and they put my first language as chinese.
i am so ...
#@£$%^&*!
how could they possibly do that?
BLATANT DISCRIMINATION!
-huffs.
oh, and my cousins are all online.
they have just come back from the 'ang thing' (i have no other name for it)
i am jealous.
the ang thing is singularly my favourite thing about CNY.
so much money collected in just one place,
plus the people are all SO nice.
ah, i miss it.
i have so much homework!
you realise of course, the madness of that statement.
since when was i EVER deterred by homework?
since when was it even a factor in my life?
they give so much homework here, and they expect it back so fast.
the fuckers.
another point to chalk up against james loh.
oh, i will get him, that gay.
earning so much commission for putting us innocent people in this place.
clare, remember that sad little terrace we all went to?
ITS NOT HIS REAL HOUSE.
he actually lives in a mansion somewhere else in that area.
stupid man.
i will get him.
oh, i will get him bad.
i am already sharpening my knives.
-glares vindictively.
i want my mommy.
starfish: OOH, ego swell for me there :D i'm glad you agree. i dont know him, but i know a lot ABOUT him. though i've kinda forgotten them all already. shucks, eh.
happy new year, everyone.
i'm feeling homesick just thinking of it.
woke up in a massive guilt spree today.
i am going to fail my accounting.
as in, i get it, but i don't?
damned teacher thinks i can self-teach myself for eveything.
heartless african bugger.
my sis smsed me whilst i was in a half dazed cum guilt spree mode.
didnt read it till much later.
it was very nice.
cheered me up abit.
she collected angbaos for me.
that sweetikins.
haha.
cousin maine also sent wishes.
OOH! haha.
germaine, get this:
there's an SA boy and an AC boy here.
they both know who selwyn is.
somemore they're like, "OF COURSE i know who he is lah."
that kind?
and i was like, "waaa, he so high profile ah."
quite a revelation.
ho ho.
i have to go see my accounting teacher and act pathetic in front of him so that perhaps, maybe he will take pity on me and .. do something.
like, give me an easier test, of something.
ugh.
i wonder how my dad ever became a qualified accountant.
like, goodness me.
i know it's actually quite easy, but its damn confusing.
especially for me who has to simultaneously understand the previous chapters and learn the new ones at the same time.
when i come back to singapore?
that james loh is dead meat.
-mutters dangerously.
clare, i miss you mucho!
read your email, and it made me so happy.
and sad too, actually.
all that good bitching i missed.
haiii.
good luck in aus, btw.
yous should convince your mom to stay with you or something.
did i mention that someone search online for 'brother paul cjc' and found his/her way to my blog?
ha ha ha.
what a joke.
i wonder who could be so interested in brother paul as to search for info about him online.
i mean, i go on search engines to look for 'vic chou' or like, 'marquis de sade'.
interesting people, see?
brother paul is a male nun.
he devotes his life to god and a prison institution called cj.
how interesting can he be?
-snorts in disdain.
i am breaking out in rash.
the climate here sucks.
i have never broken out in rash before.
something tells me clare will take one look at my legs and expire from horror.
when she regains consciousness, she will rename me 'spotty', 'dotty', 'diseased' or similar.
i know so.
discovered something today.
see, my hostess hangs all sorts of coolio art pieces in the house.
and today when i went to the toilet and was consequently stoning from tiredness, i suddenly realised i was staring at a french bit of art in which a lady was pondering over a pot of ink.
and on the table was inscribed in french: encre menerv-blah blah (other french words which i, being french illiterate will not be able to reproduce)
and i subsequently thought of a certain time in sec2 when clare told me about her secret password with someone and it was encre.
i asked what in the name of god it was.
clare said," it's an inkpot."
and i burst into racous laughter.
the science teacher was not amused though.
oh, those lovely times spent in the science lab pretending to pay attention when we were actually whispering furtively to each other from the side of our mouths.
anyway, i digress.
the main point of this is that next time, everytime i go to the loo, i will think of clare.
-beams.
am so pleased that i found a bit of clare in the loo.
oh, i have failed my first test here in the UK.
i failed my econs test.
why oh why.
i feel so terribly stupid (even if i knew that i was going to fail this test)
thing is, when i saw the answer key, it was like a revelation itself.
it had never in my life occured to me that the questions could be answered from those factors.
something tells me i have to start thinking more like an economist next time.
will probably do better if old goat in exam hall can deign to keep silent for once.
-grouches.
everyone in singapore is probably having reunion dinner now.
OH WOE.
i want to be home.
i really do like CNY alot even though it is so terribly cheena.
and contrary to popular belief, it's not because of the money.
it's the feel in the air.
geddit, geddit?
that sounded so cheesy.
will be having makeshift reunion dinner with wanjing and others at chinese stir-fry restaurant.
£4.50 is just the right price for i am an impoverished student studying overseas without the comforting presence of parents with fat wallets.
oh well, food there is not bad.
i miss everybody.
everybody had better miss me.
i'm rotting away.
as in, LITERALLY.
i'm rotting away.
woe.
i hate test periods.
the silly invigilator is such a sheep.
she always comes 15 mins late with her bloody fruit tea/coffee.
and once we're in the room, she starts bleating non-stop.
why didnt anyone tell her that a conducive examination enviroment means no noise?
ugh, fuckin annoying english woman.
i think im screwed for my law and econs test.
ugh.
am in such torment.
i hate this.
wanted to blog about something, actually.
but can't seem to remember what.
i am seriously jealous of clare and bri and charlotte.
going back to stnicks and having orange bowl.
OH, i want to go back!
life here is monotonous.
i wake up at 7 everyday, i trot off to school.
i stay in school.
at 5, i trot back.
i bathe, i study.
i eat dinner, then i study.
i sleep at 930.
i wake up at 3am and start to miss home.
sit in the dark and mope/answer smses/have guilt trips about not studying enough.
fall back asleep.
and my routine starts again.
god, am i not the most boring individual alive?
it's break now.
i have to do that stupid IELTS summary shit which i was conned by that conman james loh.
i swear that the next time i see that miserable excuse for a man, i will dismember him.
fuckin' cheat.
and oxbridge aren't even the top universities in the world anyway.
GOD.
i have a law test on solicitors and barristers later on.
oh woe betide me.
i have yet to really study it well.
and last night, i had shit concentration.
all i wanted to do was daydream about going home and sleeping.
and my back really hurt.
bloody econs textbook weighs a bloody ton.
i resolve not to eat lunch.
it's fuckin expensive, tastes like shit and it makes me fat.
very bad.
i want to go home.
everyday, i want to go home.
i think im not happy unless i am moaning about something.
that's the way i work, i think.
only times im not moaning are like those pleasant lazy days in sec2 and sec3 where we went out everyday and homework was never a problem.
we either didnt hand them in or we simply copied.
life was so simple then.
i miss those days.
alicia! i can't find your blog.
but thanks anyhow.
clare and bri, i just remembered that little keychain you gave me.
it's very cute.
but pray tell, why am i the only one who looked like an alien incarnate?
i did not appreciate those 2 round growths under my armpits.
-grumbles.
but never mind, i shall simply pretend they are lungs.
i have mighty lungs!
:D
miss you all very much.
oh woe that i cant spend chinese new year with you all.
no red packets for me too.
blah.
okay, it's goddarn early in the morn and i'm in school.
blah.
econs extra lessons.
i am sad.
i have extras all over the place now and i still feel sad and inadequate.
ah.
oh, and i've realised that the british walls are really uh, thin.
my mom called me at 5 last night and like, my hostess heard me on the phone.
and our rooms are on different levels!
my god.
i want my home back.
and ong xiangting.
what's the meaning of that?
-glares.
ugh, tell me for what?
wo mei you xing qu, okaaaaay.
nobody ever believes me.
GAH.
mm, my exams are gonna be done by 16th june i think.
YAY, that means i can be back by 17th.
praise the lord.
i can't believe i'm only in my first week of school.
get this, i'm actually starting to miss cj.
cj! satan's lair!
i miss that because it's in singapore and i have xiangting and everyone else.
oh woe
):
and for the record, they teach econs much better in singapore.
ms giam is so much better than mrs gall.
speaking of which, i have to meet gall soon.
puii.
i miss everyone so damn much.
oh, plus now i think the males in singapore look better.
really.
the caucasians here are tragic.
though i did see a really cute black highschooler in the bus today.
but that's about it.
i am sad.
no more russian billionaire.
i think i'll just find myself a rich chinaman.
how dire that sounds.
):
i want to go home.
okay, last night i had a break down.
had my first lessons of econs and law.
was thoroughly horrified.
that james loh is a con man.
he said i wouldnt miss out much
like seriously, are you fuckin' kidding me?!
the econs teacher is a nightmare.
and she like gave me this whole damn stack of notes.
and i swear it's about 3 inches thick.
and she just told me to read it.
oh fuck her.
so last night, after mugging from 530 to 800, i fell asleep.
then i woke at 2, and i started moping.
couldnt take it, called my mom and burst into tears.
god, ive never been so scared about schoolwork before.
makes me wish i was still in cj.
at least i wouldnt have minded too much if i didnt get my schoolwork right.
stupid bastard, that james loh.
i feel conned and cheated.
and i am working my arse off like i havent done before.
helps that i havent got my comfy bed and my comp and my tv with all the familiar channels and the familiar mtvs.
OH WOE.
i thank the lord for yiyang and wanjing.
they help loads.
i still have tons to say, but i gotta run.
gotta go get my bank account thing done.
sheesh, i am so stressed by that.
phoon, tell me your number.
i'll call once i get my phone stuff settled.
i miss my drinking partner too.
about your gift, i handed it to clare.
there's a mini tribute to our online drinking.
it's breakable so i wrapped it very messily in cotton wool.
good luck unraveling it.
lovelove.
