yo, man.

i thought to go to school pretending to be josephine today.
that is, happy and smiley.
figured that might help matters regarding, oh well you know... stuff.

the good thing is that, it worked.
the bad thing is that it worked at the wrong time.

i think as it nears my homecoming, the trauma of missing class starts to rapidly dissipate.
what to say- the excitement of being home.
also, quite keen on the new weight loss plan which can only commence when i'm back on home ground.

that said, am still in a fairly emotionally confused state.
haven't been sleeping well either, for reasons truly unknown to mankind (ie. me)
so here i am, 3:30 in the morning, not sleeping and not knowing what to feel.
not that i'm particularly affected or anything by the current state of affairs, but it does get old.
as you all should know by now.

so the story goes...
Jane is inexplicably attracted to Peter.
But Peter is completely inaccessible.

LEE 3:30 AM
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玩心计游戏我很少输,
那多多少少也可说是我的强项.

今天,
我彻底地输了.

LEE 12:04 AM
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haha omg i'm so fucking stressed now
apparently king's actually has the whole prize thing for people who topped the level in whichever paper. like LSE.
i didn't know that!!!
and now that i know, it's just stressing me out. i don't know why precisely, but it must have something to do with the fact that i am not good enough for the damned prize.

I WANT A PRIZE.

grr.

so irritating man, i don't want to be stressed out.
but i've also been stressed out about Trusts law ever since i got my essay back this tues.
fucking ________(i don't want you to think i'm showing off hahaha)_________ !
i cannot believe i made a conscious decision to cui at the last bit, SIGH.

my attention span is like this <-----> short la fucker man

not happy lah ):

just now, i just spent my last 4 pounds on bread, cheese and eggs.
and even though i wasn't hungry, i decided to fry the damn eggs and make myself a sandwich from all my brand new freshly bought condiments
and now i feel fucking ill
this is what happens when you eat out of self pity

anyway i'm so fat and i know this is getting old, but fuck man i'm damn sad.

and i'm supposed to be doing my reading for family law now but instead i'm comforting myself with BSB's new album.
it's quite sad, you know. they have 17 songs in the album.
that is so unhipz.

but whatever la, i guess i shouldn't be bitchy when i'm bopping along like a retard to Treat Me Right.

that brings me to another thing.
jos recently reintroduced me to classic rock (which i used to hate/detest/scorn by default due to my undying loyalty to boyband pop; refer above)
and to my shock and horror, i actually appreciate it now.
appreciate it a little too much too, truth be told.

so that was the start of some huge musical identity crisis.
especially since that was when i first got the BSB songs too, and i was much more interested in velvet revolver and AC/DC
it's not natural i tell you.
i must be going through a phase.

i'm the aunty pop girl.
i listen to chinese pop songs sung by women who are now all middle-aged/dead with the exciting high notes and other vocal acrobatics.

i know, i embrace my uncoolness in all its lukewarm entirety
EAT ME IT'S BECAUSE I'M SO DAMNED SECURE

anyway, quite a difficult time for me
it was like being caught between two men, firstlove vs firstfuck etc etc.... or whatever you know.
okay okay forget that last sentence i was channelling josephine

they're out watching My Chemical Romance now
and i'm home feeling sick to the stomach over a badly timed egg sandwich.
life isn't fair.

-

ooh anyway there's this guy right.....................................

(cue hysterical giggles)

LEE 9:15 PM
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"Do you still love me, because I still love you..... Alright, tell you what. You know th-that new fur coat in the window of Bergdorf Goodman? (pause) I'll buy you Bergdorf Goodman."

Daniel Post

LEE 11:19 PM
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ohman i'm so sad about missing school for x'mas now
it means that i'll have to miss xxx weeks of IP and john phillips.
after which, i will never see john phillips again ):
i'm such a nerd, but what the fuck man i really like john phillips

wow that's three times i've typed the name
let's pray nobody goes googling names again...

anyway, i thought i'd try this new scheme where i undergo deprivation
as in, i actually curb my random urges
it's very novel, but i've a feeling that once the novelty fades off, i'm going to start feeling very sorry for the poor people in this world.

i don't think i've realized how dependant i am on money till now.
yesterday, i had to ask jos and j if they wanted to buy me the rest of the Nora Roberts books in the set of 4 (of which i only bought one because i was trying to deprive myself wtf)
but i figure that eventually, in the next week or so, i'll cave and buy the damned books anyway

and.
i think i might get myself a blackberry tomorrow.
it'll probably confuse the hell out of me since i take to technology like an ice age squirrel might do if it were still alive now,
but hell.
we all know i buy things for the ________ it gives me.

so the spending continues....

LEE 9:22 PM
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i love wednesdays,
always been my favourite day of the week.
and even more so now because it's my no-school day whoopee

in other news,
i'm sick of blogging and other forms of introspective writing (evidently)
but since i'm just rotting here, i thought i might as well :)

still watching boston legal.
i think i've found my soulmate.
denny crane is 67 yrs old, overweight, and he shot his client two times in the knee because he didn't want to take the case.

can't imagine another person more perfect.

ant came over last night and taught me how to play gin rummy.
and here i thought i was too old to be taught new tricks... apparently not, haha.
also pleased because it's been some time since i had a conversation that made me think.
i do miss the guy, as soppy as that sounds.

and in a while, i'll be setting off with jos to oxford street for the christmas lights thing.
westlife is performing and jos has been hysterical over them again ever since monday when she shook shane's hands at harrods (and met rod stewart too, as she's sure to relate haha)

anyway while jos was out meeting stars at knightsbridge on monday, i think i caught a cold sleeping in the maughan library (which for all you taiwanese groupies out there heeheehee!:- was featured in a jay chou MTV)
so i'm falling ill.
which would be even more dreadful a prospect if not for the fact that i'm going home in a month's time hurrah!

in sadder news,
i'm so fat now that i have to wiggle into some of my jeans which is an action i've always found offensive.
though, in my mitigation, i never wiggle in front of others.
if only to spare my own pride.

i wish my mom didn't overfeed me on purpose when i was a child.
from what i heard, i was actually a skinny baby.
what's it with the chinese and wanting their young white and obese?
Pah.

okay off to oxford street :)

LEE 4:21 PM
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