i am totally not going to go out anymore.
this happening lifestyle is going to kill me soon.
i just want to go back to boring ol' ctc life where i went home everyday after school and was attention deficit to the point of pouncing on my handphone everytime it vibrated.
plus even starting to hear my phone vibrating everywhere i go.
):
my room is a mess and i have magazines everywhere and i want to die.
the carpet is disgusting and i really need to get to ikea to get rugs.
and i haven't even started studying and that is very bad because if i sink back to the old days, i can forget about graduating.
oh woe.
yes, this needs to stop.
i have smoked so fucking much this week i am going to die an early death.
(hello brother and sister, please don't paotoh! i swear no more!)
i am sorry lah, okay.
but i want to act cool, isn't it.........zzzzzzzzz.
oh ugh, and i swigged wine just now which is very bad i tell you.
all that smoke and alcohol.. grarr.
see, the thing is, it didn't fuck up my system but the thing is the thought of it is fucking me up psychologically and i'm damn disgusted now.
i am really going straight to hell.
children, do not smoke and drink.
okay, one of these days, i am going to die of depression whilst berating my pathetic self.
i have succumbed to the mainstream.
that is very sad.
but then again, i am only seventeen.
which means i am a little kid.
which therefore also means that i am entitled to still act cool.
even though it is pathetic.
okay no.
i really feel very bad now because i was really supposed to be clean and green and good.
which i will be.
(:
really.
ha ha ha, my phone fucked up on me and when i changed to J's phone for awhile i got an sms from Clare which was the most ridiculous thing ever calling me a 'smelly little asian'.
i don't know what i did to deserve that, seriously.
:D
at least the message went: i love you, you smelly little asian.
oh yarrrrrr, we had dinner with the King's bunch.
waaaa, i really cannot take that Shaun.
even Josephine wanted to murder him.
that little rat said this to j and i,"... man, i'm really starting to think that both of you are lesbos."
MOTHERFUCKINGCHEEBYEWATERMELON
i swear to God, i wanted to stab him right in his swollen rat face there and then.
fucking Chippy the Otter is what he looks like and he goes around acting like some huge... STUD.
like, seriously, BUY A FUCKING MIRROR LAH.
this is war.
i am going to go all way out to be nasty, damn me if i won't.
fucking hate these malaysian males.
waaa, really cannot take him
cannot cannot cannot.
i must do something about that glorified water rat.
this happening lifestyle is going to kill me soon.
i just want to go back to boring ol' ctc life where i went home everyday after school and was attention deficit to the point of pouncing on my handphone everytime it vibrated.
plus even starting to hear my phone vibrating everywhere i go.
):
my room is a mess and i have magazines everywhere and i want to die.
the carpet is disgusting and i really need to get to ikea to get rugs.
and i haven't even started studying and that is very bad because if i sink back to the old days, i can forget about graduating.
oh woe.
yes, this needs to stop.
i have smoked so fucking much this week i am going to die an early death.
(hello brother and sister, please don't paotoh! i swear no more!)
i am sorry lah, okay.
but i want to act cool, isn't it.........zzzzzzzzz.
oh ugh, and i swigged wine just now which is very bad i tell you.
all that smoke and alcohol.. grarr.
see, the thing is, it didn't fuck up my system but the thing is the thought of it is fucking me up psychologically and i'm damn disgusted now.
i am really going straight to hell.
children, do not smoke and drink.
okay, one of these days, i am going to die of depression whilst berating my pathetic self.
i have succumbed to the mainstream.
that is very sad.
but then again, i am only seventeen.
which means i am a little kid.
which therefore also means that i am entitled to still act cool.
even though it is pathetic.
okay no.
i really feel very bad now because i was really supposed to be clean and green and good.
which i will be.
(:
really.
ha ha ha, my phone fucked up on me and when i changed to J's phone for awhile i got an sms from Clare which was the most ridiculous thing ever calling me a 'smelly little asian'.
i don't know what i did to deserve that, seriously.
:D
at least the message went: i love you, you smelly little asian.
oh yarrrrrr, we had dinner with the King's bunch.
waaaa, i really cannot take that Shaun.
even Josephine wanted to murder him.
that little rat said this to j and i,"... man, i'm really starting to think that both of you are lesbos."
MOTHERFUCKINGCHEEBYEWATERMELON
i swear to God, i wanted to stab him right in his swollen rat face there and then.
fucking Chippy the Otter is what he looks like and he goes around acting like some huge... STUD.
like, seriously, BUY A FUCKING MIRROR LAH.
this is war.
i am going to go all way out to be nasty, damn me if i won't.
fucking hate these malaysian males.
waaa, really cannot take him
cannot cannot cannot.
i must do something about that glorified water rat.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
grouching throughout the day from lack of sleep.
except i wasn't exactly tired.
i guess it's just one of those days when you look around at the people around you (conventionally known as friends; except at this early stage, i don't think any of them qualifies as a 'friend'. besides, when lumped together on the common basis of not knowing anybody else, to consider it a friendship would be grossly inaccurate. it is at best, merely an alliance of sorts) and wonder why they are there and indeed, why you are there.
public law lecture was a pleasant surprise.
turns out the curriculum is exactly that of my Govt&Politics curriculum.
nothing makes me happier than little reminders of my favorite subject during my A-level studies.
it also made me miss Mr. Norman crazily.
i swear he is the best teacher i've had and i adore him to bits.
the only reason i liked the lecture was because it reminded me of Govt class and Mr. Norman.
though in retrospect, i think that the woman wasn't that great and how the people who know nothing about the subject beforehand must've been in some despair.
okay, i really miss Mr. Norman ):
if only one of the lecturers can be like him.
yar, like i think when i become the Ruler of the Universe, the only reason that is going to hold me back from wiping out teachers is Mr. Norman.
i could worship the man, i tell you.
hopped in to the LSE undergrad induction.
v nice, i fell asleep throughout the talk on the nice theatre chair.
(:
i am so hugely exhausted now for some reason.
somehow, it's not occurred to me that school's started and that involves some reading of notes.
it's the freshers thing, i tell you.
they have parties every night, it just makes you feel that even though school's started, it hasn't actually started.
the korean girl has this equally pretty friend and it's obvious that they are best friends and are very safe and comfortable in that knowledge.
it makes me miss Clare.
i've really had it with pretending to care about random people i've just met, walking with them, listening to their mindless chatter.
also had an argument with this guy, Shaun about who was prettier- korean girl or friend.
i mean, sure the friend is the conventionally pretty type, but she has no nose bridge and her mouth looks vaguely pug-like (only vaguely, making her look very... cute)
but the korean girl has bone structure that can cut through diamond.
and she's got class.
besides, 30 years from now, she's going to look as good as she does now and her pretty friend's face is going to sag into oblivion.
boys, what do they know about girl-watching?
pshaw!
the guy was like,"what are you, an authority on girls?"
without hesitation, i said,"YES."
he tried to make me flustered by acting like it was some kind of abnormality.
hello, i AM an authority.
i've spent 4 years perfecting the art of people watching in orchard road- land of all kinds of girls in all kinds of outfits, with Clare.
and before that, all my life sitting outside shopping areas with my dad making bitchy comments.
you ain't gonna win me on this one, buster.
i think he knew that he'd lost when i started a play-by-play about why the korean girl was better-looking, talking about her perfect nose bridge, that gorgeous jaw, the heart shaped face rounding it all up with an inspired,"Look at her! She could be in a Benetton ad!"
but you know, males, they always have to win.
so the empty vessel'd obnoxious comments started to come.
said he,"Look, i know you are bi and-..."
i didn't give him a chance to finish.
the one thing i detest more than obnoxious males are fat obnoxious males who obviously never got no pussy but still go 'round trying to act like they know everybloodything.
so i snapped back testily,"I'm not fucking bi."
and that ended our conversation.
oh, and i must add that he is constantly hyperactive and i really cannot stand people who cannot shut up and sit still.
i think he looks like an otter.
grrrrrr, Clare forget about Monash la.
come to King's.
did you know that Monash and King's are affiliated?
i can only hope tomorrow will be better and we have some good quality lectures.
<3 lectures because that is when i get to take notes and have some godsent silence for a bit.
except i wasn't exactly tired.
i guess it's just one of those days when you look around at the people around you (conventionally known as friends; except at this early stage, i don't think any of them qualifies as a 'friend'. besides, when lumped together on the common basis of not knowing anybody else, to consider it a friendship would be grossly inaccurate. it is at best, merely an alliance of sorts) and wonder why they are there and indeed, why you are there.
public law lecture was a pleasant surprise.
turns out the curriculum is exactly that of my Govt&Politics curriculum.
nothing makes me happier than little reminders of my favorite subject during my A-level studies.
it also made me miss Mr. Norman crazily.
i swear he is the best teacher i've had and i adore him to bits.
the only reason i liked the lecture was because it reminded me of Govt class and Mr. Norman.
though in retrospect, i think that the woman wasn't that great and how the people who know nothing about the subject beforehand must've been in some despair.
okay, i really miss Mr. Norman ):
if only one of the lecturers can be like him.
yar, like i think when i become the Ruler of the Universe, the only reason that is going to hold me back from wiping out teachers is Mr. Norman.
i could worship the man, i tell you.
hopped in to the LSE undergrad induction.
v nice, i fell asleep throughout the talk on the nice theatre chair.
(:
i am so hugely exhausted now for some reason.
somehow, it's not occurred to me that school's started and that involves some reading of notes.
it's the freshers thing, i tell you.
they have parties every night, it just makes you feel that even though school's started, it hasn't actually started.
the korean girl has this equally pretty friend and it's obvious that they are best friends and are very safe and comfortable in that knowledge.
it makes me miss Clare.
i've really had it with pretending to care about random people i've just met, walking with them, listening to their mindless chatter.
also had an argument with this guy, Shaun about who was prettier- korean girl or friend.
i mean, sure the friend is the conventionally pretty type, but she has no nose bridge and her mouth looks vaguely pug-like (only vaguely, making her look very... cute)
but the korean girl has bone structure that can cut through diamond.
and she's got class.
besides, 30 years from now, she's going to look as good as she does now and her pretty friend's face is going to sag into oblivion.
boys, what do they know about girl-watching?
pshaw!
the guy was like,"what are you, an authority on girls?"
without hesitation, i said,"YES."
he tried to make me flustered by acting like it was some kind of abnormality.
hello, i AM an authority.
i've spent 4 years perfecting the art of people watching in orchard road- land of all kinds of girls in all kinds of outfits, with Clare.
and before that, all my life sitting outside shopping areas with my dad making bitchy comments.
you ain't gonna win me on this one, buster.
i think he knew that he'd lost when i started a play-by-play about why the korean girl was better-looking, talking about her perfect nose bridge, that gorgeous jaw, the heart shaped face rounding it all up with an inspired,"Look at her! She could be in a Benetton ad!"
but you know, males, they always have to win.
so the empty vessel'd obnoxious comments started to come.
said he,"Look, i know you are bi and-..."
i didn't give him a chance to finish.
the one thing i detest more than obnoxious males are fat obnoxious males who obviously never got no pussy but still go 'round trying to act like they know everybloodything.
so i snapped back testily,"I'm not fucking bi."
and that ended our conversation.
oh, and i must add that he is constantly hyperactive and i really cannot stand people who cannot shut up and sit still.
i think he looks like an otter.
grrrrrr, Clare forget about Monash la.
come to King's.
did you know that Monash and King's are affiliated?
i can only hope tomorrow will be better and we have some good quality lectures.
<3 lectures because that is when i get to take notes and have some godsent silence for a bit.
i think i could definitely like European Law.
lecture at 8:30AM was far from heinous as expected.
it was pretty cool, actually.
the lecturer was all italian and... eccentric.
and my tutorial class is crazy cool.
the hot girl is in it.
she's korean, and i'm in love.
:D
crashed LSE's party tonight.
was not that great, but anyway, partying = not my style.
no, i am really the boring type.
ha ha.
there's a King's party at MOS tomorrow night.
that, even if i abhor clubbing, is a must.
but we must get Ant along.
got a 9:00AM lecture tomorrow.
and we're walking there, so i'm meeting Regina at 8:25AM
gad, i hope i can still walk then.
lecture day tomorrow :)
that means i get to relax at the back.
ho ho ho for me.
i got lost two times today, walking from Waterloo to Gt Dover.
such a loser, right.
but tomorrow, i will make it a point to remember the way.
walking long distances in converses is not a nice experience.
and i left my card and key back in my room when i left.
so just now when i came back, i had to get the security guard to open all my doors for me.
that was loser to the max.
but he was pretty cool about it.
and he let Jos in too, even though visitors are not allowed in after 11:00PM
i am rambling.
okay i do need some sleep now.
(:
lecture at 8:30AM was far from heinous as expected.
it was pretty cool, actually.
the lecturer was all italian and... eccentric.
and my tutorial class is crazy cool.
the hot girl is in it.
she's korean, and i'm in love.
:D
crashed LSE's party tonight.
was not that great, but anyway, partying = not my style.
no, i am really the boring type.
ha ha.
there's a King's party at MOS tomorrow night.
that, even if i abhor clubbing, is a must.
but we must get Ant along.
got a 9:00AM lecture tomorrow.
and we're walking there, so i'm meeting Regina at 8:25AM
gad, i hope i can still walk then.
lecture day tomorrow :)
that means i get to relax at the back.
ho ho ho for me.
i got lost two times today, walking from Waterloo to Gt Dover.
such a loser, right.
but tomorrow, i will make it a point to remember the way.
walking long distances in converses is not a nice experience.
and i left my card and key back in my room when i left.
so just now when i came back, i had to get the security guard to open all my doors for me.
that was loser to the max.
but he was pretty cool about it.
and he let Jos in too, even though visitors are not allowed in after 11:00PM
i am rambling.
okay i do need some sleep now.
(:
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
hello there, you sneaky little thing.
:D
(you know who you are, sneakysneaky. ha ha ha ha!)
today was the first day of school and i fell in love with this totally hot girl.
she also has a really pretty friend.
but i much prefer her because she's like, totally my kind.
oh, she was also the bitch who spurned J last time at the King's open day.
but i like bitches a lot.
(:
J made friends with all the King's people so now she is totally happening girl in King's.
except, of course, she doesn't actually go to King's.
but, minor technicality.
LSE and King's are really really near!
and there's a starbucks nearby too.
i still want that camera so i can start snapping random photos.
oh, and i saw that girl in the white tube who i thought was super pretty at the induction.
J made me realize that she isn't really that pretty.
but... okay lah, still not bad.
oh, i love girl-watching :D
ha ha, J and i were so happily discussing the girls and going for those LGTB parties at LSE that Shaun and Marcus thought we were curly people.
as if.
my preferences at the moment are decidedly heterosexual (as they have been for awhile)
and i'm sure J's are as well.
anyway, Marcus is also homophobic.
i don't know what to comment about that.
except that he was so funny explaining his homophobia ("i tremble when i see them... or i pretend i do not see them." said he, along with expressive hand gestures) that i forgot to be indignant.
anyway, chinese males-
cannot expect much from them.
we went to Leicester Square for dinner.
that is, J Jos and i.
so full now i think i can die.
i am starting to realize why people invariably get fat here.
there is nothing else to do but eat.
):
have also decided that Ethan is the prettiest thing ever, seriously.
such a pretty shade of green.
and so small and cute.
i never thought i could adore a USB that much.
the Sony is still nameless.
but it is so distinguished-looking that 'Beep' really does not cut it.
you know i was lamenting to J that day about the name 'Beep' being too short for such a sophisticated offspring of technology.
J responded with a,"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."
so clever right, that J.
no wonder LSE accepted her.
okay i am really tired.
hello to the sister and the Clare.
i will mail soon :D
:D
(you know who you are, sneakysneaky. ha ha ha ha!)
today was the first day of school and i fell in love with this totally hot girl.
she also has a really pretty friend.
but i much prefer her because she's like, totally my kind.
oh, she was also the bitch who spurned J last time at the King's open day.
but i like bitches a lot.
(:
J made friends with all the King's people so now she is totally happening girl in King's.
except, of course, she doesn't actually go to King's.
but, minor technicality.
LSE and King's are really really near!
and there's a starbucks nearby too.
i still want that camera so i can start snapping random photos.
oh, and i saw that girl in the white tube who i thought was super pretty at the induction.
J made me realize that she isn't really that pretty.
but... okay lah, still not bad.
oh, i love girl-watching :D
ha ha, J and i were so happily discussing the girls and going for those LGTB parties at LSE that Shaun and Marcus thought we were curly people.
as if.
my preferences at the moment are decidedly heterosexual (as they have been for awhile)
and i'm sure J's are as well.
anyway, Marcus is also homophobic.
i don't know what to comment about that.
except that he was so funny explaining his homophobia ("i tremble when i see them... or i pretend i do not see them." said he, along with expressive hand gestures) that i forgot to be indignant.
anyway, chinese males-
cannot expect much from them.
we went to Leicester Square for dinner.
that is, J Jos and i.
so full now i think i can die.
i am starting to realize why people invariably get fat here.
there is nothing else to do but eat.
):
have also decided that Ethan is the prettiest thing ever, seriously.
such a pretty shade of green.
and so small and cute.
i never thought i could adore a USB that much.
the Sony is still nameless.
but it is so distinguished-looking that 'Beep' really does not cut it.
you know i was lamenting to J that day about the name 'Beep' being too short for such a sophisticated offspring of technology.
J responded with a,"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."
so clever right, that J.
no wonder LSE accepted her.
okay i am really tired.
hello to the sister and the Clare.
i will mail soon :D
Sunday, September 24, 2006
i don't really know what to blog about but i thought i might as well get something to do whilst the others are at jos' doing whatever.
school starts tomorrow and i don't waaaaaaaant to go.
):
do you know LSE only starts in two weeks?
and Imperial starts like what... mid-october.
i am very unhappy.
last night, we met more people around Gt. Dover
(or rather, this girl walked up to us for no reason)
yeah, i really have this little fate thing with people from Hong Kong.
but you know... people with homophobia just urks me.
especially when they're females.
what's wrong with liking your own goddamn sex?!
grr. grrrrrrrr...
anyway, i got very defensive because this girl knew Louie from HK int school.
and she was all like,"Are you scared of her?"
with all the hemming and hawing which Jos and i soon realized had to do with Louie's bung-ness.
which is so wrong because Louie is like, how cute and small la!
and such a hawwwt bung, can.
AND.
that girl was discussing transport to school with me.
and i was being a nice, kind soul telling her that the tube is a lot better than the bus.
she goes,"NO, the tube sucks too."
and i'm like,"it's better than the bus, seriously."
(pause for a moment as she considers)
then...
"Okay! You can go to school with me on Tuesday."
ya, i can go to school with you.
but I. Don't. Want. To.
anyway, she's got my number.
so she'll most probably be ringing me up.
but i'll be doing my darn'dest not to pick up the phone.
oh, so passive-agressive.
rawr!
(:
right, i need a camera bad.
school starts tomorrow and i don't waaaaaaaant to go.
):
do you know LSE only starts in two weeks?
and Imperial starts like what... mid-october.
i am very unhappy.
last night, we met more people around Gt. Dover
(or rather, this girl walked up to us for no reason)
yeah, i really have this little fate thing with people from Hong Kong.
but you know... people with homophobia just urks me.
especially when they're females.
what's wrong with liking your own goddamn sex?!
grr. grrrrrrrr...
anyway, i got very defensive because this girl knew Louie from HK int school.
and she was all like,"Are you scared of her?"
with all the hemming and hawing which Jos and i soon realized had to do with Louie's bung-ness.
which is so wrong because Louie is like, how cute and small la!
and such a hawwwt bung, can.
AND.
that girl was discussing transport to school with me.
and i was being a nice, kind soul telling her that the tube is a lot better than the bus.
she goes,"NO, the tube sucks too."
and i'm like,"it's better than the bus, seriously."
(pause for a moment as she considers)
then...
"Okay! You can go to school with me on Tuesday."
ya, i can go to school with you.
but I. Don't. Want. To.
anyway, she's got my number.
so she'll most probably be ringing me up.
but i'll be doing my darn'dest not to pick up the phone.
oh, so passive-agressive.
rawr!
(:
right, i need a camera bad.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
okay, get this:
i am blogging now on my laptop in my dinky little room at Great Dover.
HOW COOL IS THAT!
:D
we need to make a trip to ikea to buy trinkets and stuff to pretty up the room.
it's all stark and white and coolie-esque.
j also has a problem with the yellow door.
oh, and the toilet brings new meaning to the word 'small'.
BUT, i am pretty damn pleased with the room on a whole because the study table is big and nice.
such a nerd right ha ha ha.
anyway, mucho thanks and bazillie love to j who sacrificed time in singapore so that i will have company and help upon returning to dirty london town.
OH, AND I DID SEE CLARE IN THE END!
hee hee hee.
i am so pleased.
and lurrrrrrrrve has been re-ignited again.
oh, i am going back in Christmas, i am.
(:
there was some weathered looking old thing sitting behind me on the plane.
and it kept pushing and yanking at my chair throughout.
at one point, he even pulled at my hair.
then when we landed, its wife whacked me on the arm because she stowed her stuff at the compartment above me and she wanted to get it.
oh, the abuse i suffer.
nasty dried rats.
):
BUT THEN, i was still good and respectful to my elders and gave not one peep about it.
anyway, they haven't got many years left on this earth.
might as well allow them a dignified last few years with allowances for rudeness and uncivilized behaviour due to... you know, dementia or whatever.
then we were treated like third world refugees at Heathrow.
gah, Heathrow. GAH.
but we did meet some Taiwanese people-
okay, actually we met like, a whole planeload of them because anyone who wasn't white were treated like they carried both explosives and the avian flu.
so ironic, seeing that this country is de facto third world with startling workforce inefficiency as compared to Singapore's undefeated efficiency.
like, give us a break lah.
if we had explosives, Changi Airport would've sent us straight to Changi Prison.
and if we had the slightest hint of the Avian Flu, the whole country will plunge into emergency wartime mode and nobody leaves the country without a full scan of every cell in the body.
so really, if we made it over to Heathrow in one piece, there really isn't anything you can get out of us that Changi wouldn't have already got.
SERIOUSLY.
oh, plus all the health check women were so fat i think they're the ones who look like they really needed a checkup.
like, hello obesity and related health problems, not?
but j went all happy singing kid and made the harried fat women happier.
so they were quite nice to j and i.
also because we speak passable engligh.
you know the woman at the counter was so mean.
she kept yelling at this fat taiwanese girl who didn't speak a word of english, making all these snide remarks.
at one point, she even blasted out,"NEXT! anybody who can actually speak proper english!"
wahlao, and i thought i was a fat bitch.
i have met my match.
(grim)
ha ha ha.
anyway, i'm so tired man.
so i'm going to race through all the silly happenings so far.
been back to CTC.
I TOTALLY DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK OKAY.
):
but then i allowed myself to be seduced by gossip from Teoh.
can you believe my stupidity nowadays?
at first when j was like,"go ctc, go ctc."
i'll staunchly refuse.
then Teoh calls and tells me some interesting little tidbits.
and she says,"aiya, you come back CTC la!"
and immediately i chirp back,"OKAY! :D :D :D"
so anyway, my intuition proved right.
except to a more dramatic sort of sense.
......................................@#$%^&*!
okay la, bu zhi dao.
don't want to talk about it.
i saw the singaporean girl who's been causing quite a splash in CTC.
wahlao.
i've been cheated.
once again, CTC proves how pathetically plain the population is, and how sadly deprived the men are by their choice of girls-in-vogue.
for someone that everybody's been talking about, she's really surprisingly... blah.
my favourite was Kenta's description:-
"Ohhh.... The one with the slut-hair." (insert hand gesture to show dramatic curls)
ha ha, sato kenta damn cute!
:D
enrolment was alright.
i pulled j along with me everywhere, so now most people think j goes to King's too.
very good.
now we won't have problems sneaking her into the parties and the apartments and all.
sometimes we are so smart, we amaze ourselves.
ho ho.
met a HK guy at enrolment.
name of Marcus but i have this strong conviction that it's a mistake.
because he really looks like a Daniel to me.
like, really.
i want to call him Daniel because he looks like what a Daniel looks like.
but something tells me if i anyhow whack and ask him if i can call him Daniel, he's going to get very alarmed and... yell rape or something.
so nevermind.
not important anyway.
important is the fact that we saw some major man-candy!
MAJOR, i tell you.
i still am thoroughly amazed at the beauty of the man.
he stunned both j and i into silence.
was actually talking to j when he walked past.
and i trailed off in mid-sentence in wonder as he strode past.
like,"ya! and it's like ho-... wowwww"
the wow, i actually whispered reverently like i've seen God's answer to all my prayers.
(not that i pray to God for pretty men lah, but God obviously loves him a lot and evidently spent a lot of time on his genes to concoct that miraculous face. so naturally, we all should love him too, being like, you know, made in the likeness of God- okay, ignore me.)
j and i totally started scheming about talking to him.
not that we dared la... seeing that towering seraph.
at one point, i grabbed her and we flitted to the back of the queue under the pretense of going to the toilet.
giggling like mad little schoolgirls.
and eyeballing him like mad.
waaa, i tell you he totally knew we were eyeing him.
anyway, postgrad law is he.
which makes him more inaccesible.
but more funfunfun.
that is, to do some detective work and find out some little vital statistics about Mr. ManCandy
haven't had eye-candy for damn long, seeing the lousy selection at CTC.
this is great!
:D
undergrad law has a pirated version of man-candy.
shorter, less perfect complexion, not so pretty.
but same style.
this place has loads of interesting people.
induction was deadening today.
but i actually had fun looking at all the people.
not necessarily all pretty people.
but damn interesting anyway.
i saw a chiobu.
she has brown hair and a damn nice tan.
and she wore this flowy white tube top with jeans and she was wowwww so hawt.
wo xi huan.
j fell for this spanish girl who's taking french law.
she likes the kind-looking blonde types.
blondes just kinda look all the same to me.
so i don't see no attraction there, nope.
okay, actually i made a lot of observations today at induction but they're really much too bitchy to publish and i'll save them for the dearer family and friends.
singaporean and malaysian girls are... actually not bad-looking.
but they're all like, one year older or what.
red badges ):
i totally like, don't fit in.
but what's new, eh.
(:
skipped out halfway because couldn't take the boredom anymore.
and besides, was not listening at all.
thoughts were drifting all over the place, happily thinking of my masterplan and :)
ooh, jiggles!
just thinking of it makes me happy.
anyway, today was a very dreamy day and i was floating from place to place without really thinking.
so i dreamily floated slowly to the Waterloo Station and got into a mini battle with the ticket machine before i realised that there weren't any trains to East Croydon.
so i decided to take the tube to Victoria.
except i wasn't really paying attention to where i was hopping to.
and suddenly found my way to Kennington.
there, in my full confused glory, i blanked into my own world for a good 20 minutes before i realised that it might be a good idea to find a way out so that i might possibly reach the Home of Nestle before the sun sets.
i found my way in the end, being the great adventurer i am.
ha ha ha.
so even though it took me more than two hours to make it back to East Croydon, i actually had quite a nice time blundering my way there encased in a cloud of happy confusion.
then i bought Doughmaster's!
(:
in this odd, no-feeling way, i think i love Croydon.
OH!
and before i forget, IanChong's getting hotter.
keep up the good work :)
ah, i saw celine and my reflex action was to immediately roll my eyes.
i have so much disdain for that girl that even when i'd forgotten about her and was so preoccupied in my own world the whole day, the moment she appeared in my sight, i got so disgusted.
CTC doesn't bring out very nice sides of me.
but it's okay, because i don't really have nice sides anywayyyy :D
i'm getting cross-eyed in my exhaustion.
navigating from filthy underground station to filthy underground station is much more energy-sapping than it looks.
helping j move and going to freshers' fair at Strand tomorrow.
josie's coming back!
she's going to live right next to me. (that is, as right next as the next big block of apartments belonging to a different university goes)
(:
and boy do i need a camera to sneak a shot of the postgrad law man-candy and to send it to Clare for approval.
okay. !!!
just now j and ant made me feel .... again but i am not bothered.
ha ha ha, masterplan.
wo ai ni, wo de very major point of the masterplan!
:D
left Ethan (my very very pretty USB in that perfect shade of green) with j so that she can fill him up with songs.
oh hey, i just remembered that i'd already named my sony.
it's called 'beep'.
ha ha ha, yes i am very partial to onomatopoeic names.
but now that i have actually seen the laptop for real, i think that onmatopoeia is not distinguished enough for it (being a very nice, sleek black)
why am i still blogging?
i am blogging now on my laptop in my dinky little room at Great Dover.
HOW COOL IS THAT!
:D
we need to make a trip to ikea to buy trinkets and stuff to pretty up the room.
it's all stark and white and coolie-esque.
j also has a problem with the yellow door.
oh, and the toilet brings new meaning to the word 'small'.
BUT, i am pretty damn pleased with the room on a whole because the study table is big and nice.
such a nerd right ha ha ha.
anyway, mucho thanks and bazillie love to j who sacrificed time in singapore so that i will have company and help upon returning to dirty london town.
OH, AND I DID SEE CLARE IN THE END!
hee hee hee.
i am so pleased.
and lurrrrrrrrve has been re-ignited again.
oh, i am going back in Christmas, i am.
(:
there was some weathered looking old thing sitting behind me on the plane.
and it kept pushing and yanking at my chair throughout.
at one point, he even pulled at my hair.
then when we landed, its wife whacked me on the arm because she stowed her stuff at the compartment above me and she wanted to get it.
oh, the abuse i suffer.
nasty dried rats.
):
BUT THEN, i was still good and respectful to my elders and gave not one peep about it.
anyway, they haven't got many years left on this earth.
might as well allow them a dignified last few years with allowances for rudeness and uncivilized behaviour due to... you know, dementia or whatever.
then we were treated like third world refugees at Heathrow.
gah, Heathrow. GAH.
but we did meet some Taiwanese people-
okay, actually we met like, a whole planeload of them because anyone who wasn't white were treated like they carried both explosives and the avian flu.
so ironic, seeing that this country is de facto third world with startling workforce inefficiency as compared to Singapore's undefeated efficiency.
like, give us a break lah.
if we had explosives, Changi Airport would've sent us straight to Changi Prison.
and if we had the slightest hint of the Avian Flu, the whole country will plunge into emergency wartime mode and nobody leaves the country without a full scan of every cell in the body.
so really, if we made it over to Heathrow in one piece, there really isn't anything you can get out of us that Changi wouldn't have already got.
SERIOUSLY.
oh, plus all the health check women were so fat i think they're the ones who look like they really needed a checkup.
like, hello obesity and related health problems, not?
but j went all happy singing kid and made the harried fat women happier.
so they were quite nice to j and i.
also because we speak passable engligh.
you know the woman at the counter was so mean.
she kept yelling at this fat taiwanese girl who didn't speak a word of english, making all these snide remarks.
at one point, she even blasted out,"NEXT! anybody who can actually speak proper english!"
wahlao, and i thought i was a fat bitch.
i have met my match.
(grim)
ha ha ha.
anyway, i'm so tired man.
so i'm going to race through all the silly happenings so far.
been back to CTC.
I TOTALLY DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK OKAY.
):
but then i allowed myself to be seduced by gossip from Teoh.
can you believe my stupidity nowadays?
at first when j was like,"go ctc, go ctc."
i'll staunchly refuse.
then Teoh calls and tells me some interesting little tidbits.
and she says,"aiya, you come back CTC la!"
and immediately i chirp back,"OKAY! :D :D :D"
so anyway, my intuition proved right.
except to a more dramatic sort of sense.
......................................@#$%^&*!
okay la, bu zhi dao.
don't want to talk about it.
i saw the singaporean girl who's been causing quite a splash in CTC.
wahlao.
i've been cheated.
once again, CTC proves how pathetically plain the population is, and how sadly deprived the men are by their choice of girls-in-vogue.
for someone that everybody's been talking about, she's really surprisingly... blah.
my favourite was Kenta's description:-
"Ohhh.... The one with the slut-hair." (insert hand gesture to show dramatic curls)
ha ha, sato kenta damn cute!
:D
enrolment was alright.
i pulled j along with me everywhere, so now most people think j goes to King's too.
very good.
now we won't have problems sneaking her into the parties and the apartments and all.
sometimes we are so smart, we amaze ourselves.
ho ho.
met a HK guy at enrolment.
name of Marcus but i have this strong conviction that it's a mistake.
because he really looks like a Daniel to me.
like, really.
i want to call him Daniel because he looks like what a Daniel looks like.
but something tells me if i anyhow whack and ask him if i can call him Daniel, he's going to get very alarmed and... yell rape or something.
so nevermind.
not important anyway.
important is the fact that we saw some major man-candy!
MAJOR, i tell you.
i still am thoroughly amazed at the beauty of the man.
he stunned both j and i into silence.
was actually talking to j when he walked past.
and i trailed off in mid-sentence in wonder as he strode past.
like,"ya! and it's like ho-... wowwww"
the wow, i actually whispered reverently like i've seen God's answer to all my prayers.
(not that i pray to God for pretty men lah, but God obviously loves him a lot and evidently spent a lot of time on his genes to concoct that miraculous face. so naturally, we all should love him too, being like, you know, made in the likeness of God- okay, ignore me.)
j and i totally started scheming about talking to him.
not that we dared la... seeing that towering seraph.
at one point, i grabbed her and we flitted to the back of the queue under the pretense of going to the toilet.
giggling like mad little schoolgirls.
and eyeballing him like mad.
waaa, i tell you he totally knew we were eyeing him.
anyway, postgrad law is he.
which makes him more inaccesible.
but more funfunfun.
that is, to do some detective work and find out some little vital statistics about Mr. ManCandy
haven't had eye-candy for damn long, seeing the lousy selection at CTC.
this is great!
:D
undergrad law has a pirated version of man-candy.
shorter, less perfect complexion, not so pretty.
but same style.
this place has loads of interesting people.
induction was deadening today.
but i actually had fun looking at all the people.
not necessarily all pretty people.
but damn interesting anyway.
i saw a chiobu.
she has brown hair and a damn nice tan.
and she wore this flowy white tube top with jeans and she was wowwww so hawt.
wo xi huan.
j fell for this spanish girl who's taking french law.
she likes the kind-looking blonde types.
blondes just kinda look all the same to me.
so i don't see no attraction there, nope.
okay, actually i made a lot of observations today at induction but they're really much too bitchy to publish and i'll save them for the dearer family and friends.
singaporean and malaysian girls are... actually not bad-looking.
but they're all like, one year older or what.
red badges ):
i totally like, don't fit in.
but what's new, eh.
(:
skipped out halfway because couldn't take the boredom anymore.
and besides, was not listening at all.
thoughts were drifting all over the place, happily thinking of my masterplan and :)
ooh, jiggles!
just thinking of it makes me happy.
anyway, today was a very dreamy day and i was floating from place to place without really thinking.
so i dreamily floated slowly to the Waterloo Station and got into a mini battle with the ticket machine before i realised that there weren't any trains to East Croydon.
so i decided to take the tube to Victoria.
except i wasn't really paying attention to where i was hopping to.
and suddenly found my way to Kennington.
there, in my full confused glory, i blanked into my own world for a good 20 minutes before i realised that it might be a good idea to find a way out so that i might possibly reach the Home of Nestle before the sun sets.
i found my way in the end, being the great adventurer i am.
ha ha ha.
so even though it took me more than two hours to make it back to East Croydon, i actually had quite a nice time blundering my way there encased in a cloud of happy confusion.
then i bought Doughmaster's!
(:
in this odd, no-feeling way, i think i love Croydon.
OH!
and before i forget, IanChong's getting hotter.
keep up the good work :)
ah, i saw celine and my reflex action was to immediately roll my eyes.
i have so much disdain for that girl that even when i'd forgotten about her and was so preoccupied in my own world the whole day, the moment she appeared in my sight, i got so disgusted.
CTC doesn't bring out very nice sides of me.
but it's okay, because i don't really have nice sides anywayyyy :D
i'm getting cross-eyed in my exhaustion.
navigating from filthy underground station to filthy underground station is much more energy-sapping than it looks.
helping j move and going to freshers' fair at Strand tomorrow.
josie's coming back!
she's going to live right next to me. (that is, as right next as the next big block of apartments belonging to a different university goes)
(:
and boy do i need a camera to sneak a shot of the postgrad law man-candy and to send it to Clare for approval.
okay. !!!
just now j and ant made me feel .... again but i am not bothered.
ha ha ha, masterplan.
wo ai ni, wo de very major point of the masterplan!
:D
left Ethan (my very very pretty USB in that perfect shade of green) with j so that she can fill him up with songs.
oh hey, i just remembered that i'd already named my sony.
it's called 'beep'.
ha ha ha, yes i am very partial to onomatopoeic names.
but now that i have actually seen the laptop for real, i think that onmatopoeia is not distinguished enough for it (being a very nice, sleek black)
why am i still blogging?
Sunday, September 17, 2006
in 2003, jo asked me what i lived for.
i was stumped because that had never occurred to me and life to me was just a day-to-day business.
(okay, actually my answer to that after a prolonged ponder was a lame "...uh, ACJC!". so loser right ha ha ha)
three years on, the answer's finally come to me.
i live for power and money.
... which is actually quite sad when you think about it.
especially when compared to jo's 'love and drama'.
i don't think i will ever forget that because the moment she said those words with a sort of impassioned glitter in her eyes, i was struck with this realization that i lived for nothing and that my life really had no meaning nor destination.
the fact that i really do live for power and money now is sad.
oh how much i have changed.
whatever
(:
i'm not letting it get to me now.
it's back to the UK tomorrow.
i'll also hopefully see clare for a token 10 minutes at the airport when she arrives just before i am due to depart.
we are not fated, the dear friend and i.
no.
i feel like i'm living in a san-lih production.
what with all their partiality towards having their lead characters walk right past each other during some crucial they-must-meet!!! moment.
such an emotional nutcase nowadays.
if i see clare tomorrow for real, i think i might actually cry.
ah, things, things.
(:
it's all part of the masterplan!
:D
wo bu yao hui qu tomorrow........................................ ):
gotta do something fasssst.
i'm leaving tomorrow and i haven't even started packing yet.
in fact, my luggage is still stowed away... somewhere.
oh, master procrastinator am i.
(:
i was stumped because that had never occurred to me and life to me was just a day-to-day business.
(okay, actually my answer to that after a prolonged ponder was a lame "...uh, ACJC!". so loser right ha ha ha)
three years on, the answer's finally come to me.
i live for power and money.
... which is actually quite sad when you think about it.
especially when compared to jo's 'love and drama'.
i don't think i will ever forget that because the moment she said those words with a sort of impassioned glitter in her eyes, i was struck with this realization that i lived for nothing and that my life really had no meaning nor destination.
the fact that i really do live for power and money now is sad.
oh how much i have changed.
whatever
(:
i'm not letting it get to me now.
it's back to the UK tomorrow.
i'll also hopefully see clare for a token 10 minutes at the airport when she arrives just before i am due to depart.
we are not fated, the dear friend and i.
no.
i feel like i'm living in a san-lih production.
what with all their partiality towards having their lead characters walk right past each other during some crucial they-must-meet!!! moment.
such an emotional nutcase nowadays.
if i see clare tomorrow for real, i think i might actually cry.
ah, things, things.
(:
it's all part of the masterplan!
:D
wo bu yao hui qu tomorrow........................................ ):
gotta do something fasssst.
i'm leaving tomorrow and i haven't even started packing yet.
in fact, my luggage is still stowed away... somewhere.
oh, master procrastinator am i.
(:
Thursday, September 14, 2006
significant funny of today would be when my brother sat next to me and started yabbering randomly, giggling at his own amusing-ness.
and then suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, he sobered up.
sat up straight and mimed talking on the phone.
then in the most matter-of-fact, vaguely provocative business-like tone said,
"Hey biatch, sexy here."
followed by a beat of silence as i gazed at him in amazement.
then he beamed.
and we both started cackling.
-
Random-ness, How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
:D
and then suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, he sobered up.
sat up straight and mimed talking on the phone.
then in the most matter-of-fact, vaguely provocative business-like tone said,
"Hey biatch, sexy here."
followed by a beat of silence as i gazed at him in amazement.
then he beamed.
and we both started cackling.
-
Random-ness, How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
:D
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
you know what!
i read my sec4 diary today, and i was really amazed at the things i wrote.
i was SO impressed by this bit:
"... and that's what i've been trying to tell my sis. don't let these people get to you and allow them to control your feelings. explode a little less, observe a little more. understand their psyche and how their minds work and delve into it, then use it against them. crush them where it matters and where it hurts most. and all this while, they have to believe that you didn't mean it. that way, you get away from it triumphant, and unscathed."
i swear, the moment i read it, i sank into this awed silence.
and was like,"Wow... so deep."
REALLY!
i don't know how come i was so methodical and clever last time!
now i am convinced.
i really am losing my touch.
the way i was last time, i could've been a professional assassin.
now, i'm just some pussy prospective law undergrad with no steely psychopathic cleverness to speak of.
how did i manage to change so drastically in such a short time?
oh, you goin' dowwwwwn, girrrrl.
):
in addition to the theme of my absolute loser persona,
i suffered my first Sleepless in Seattle night because of the man.
no sleep at all, the whole night, and then forced to crawl out of bed at 9:00AM to drop by the Visa place.
then off to get my pretty, green sony USB at Funan.
and then lunch at Shangri-la The Line with my mom and a couple of her high-flying lawyer friends.
by the time i got home, it was 4:00PM and i swear i don't even know how i managed to survive the day.
... it just occurred to me that i am too revealing in my blog nowadays.
my censorship board has been liberalised.
very bad.
this continues and i will cease having a private life.
more lunch obligations tomorrow.
):
just when there is nothing more i want to do than to stay home, curl up in some hole and hide.
that, and watching TV.
when will my life reach an equilibrium?
i'm sick of all these excitement.
by the by, i dearly hope my brother's girlfriend read my last entry.
the boy's taken of his tagboard in a bid to shield her from any further abuse i might feel inclined to dish out.
but pshaw! as if i will settle for a tagboard should she be foolish enough to provoke me again.
it's very touching, but soon they will realise that if tagboards are disabled, there are still other more direct means i could use as launching pad for my attacks.
and if worse come to worse, HEY! every taxi driver in singapore knows where Clementi is right.
i am just bored and vicious enough.
but cease i will now because i realise in comparison to my past self, i am but a flamboyant clown to be taken with a pinch of salt.
ah the sadness of being me.
(:
i read my sec4 diary today, and i was really amazed at the things i wrote.
i was SO impressed by this bit:
"... and that's what i've been trying to tell my sis. don't let these people get to you and allow them to control your feelings. explode a little less, observe a little more. understand their psyche and how their minds work and delve into it, then use it against them. crush them where it matters and where it hurts most. and all this while, they have to believe that you didn't mean it. that way, you get away from it triumphant, and unscathed."
i swear, the moment i read it, i sank into this awed silence.
and was like,"Wow... so deep."
REALLY!
i don't know how come i was so methodical and clever last time!
now i am convinced.
i really am losing my touch.
the way i was last time, i could've been a professional assassin.
now, i'm just some pussy prospective law undergrad with no steely psychopathic cleverness to speak of.
how did i manage to change so drastically in such a short time?
oh, you goin' dowwwwwn, girrrrl.
):
in addition to the theme of my absolute loser persona,
i suffered my first Sleepless in Seattle night because of the man.
no sleep at all, the whole night, and then forced to crawl out of bed at 9:00AM to drop by the Visa place.
then off to get my pretty, green sony USB at Funan.
and then lunch at Shangri-la The Line with my mom and a couple of her high-flying lawyer friends.
by the time i got home, it was 4:00PM and i swear i don't even know how i managed to survive the day.
... it just occurred to me that i am too revealing in my blog nowadays.
my censorship board has been liberalised.
very bad.
this continues and i will cease having a private life.
more lunch obligations tomorrow.
):
just when there is nothing more i want to do than to stay home, curl up in some hole and hide.
that, and watching TV.
when will my life reach an equilibrium?
i'm sick of all these excitement.
by the by, i dearly hope my brother's girlfriend read my last entry.
the boy's taken of his tagboard in a bid to shield her from any further abuse i might feel inclined to dish out.
but pshaw! as if i will settle for a tagboard should she be foolish enough to provoke me again.
it's very touching, but soon they will realise that if tagboards are disabled, there are still other more direct means i could use as launching pad for my attacks.
and if worse come to worse, HEY! every taxi driver in singapore knows where Clementi is right.
i am just bored and vicious enough.
but cease i will now because i realise in comparison to my past self, i am but a flamboyant clown to be taken with a pinch of salt.
ah the sadness of being me.
(:
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
finally got the dratted letter.
got my bank card activated.
and got my laptop.
(:
i cannot believe i have a laptop now.
and i'm not even the slightest bit excited.
even though my laptop is damn pretty.
i guess computers just don't do it for me the way other stuff do.
techgal i am not.
but anyway, much love and thankyous to J, Jos and Max (even though Max was damn lousy and wasn't man enough to carry my laptop for me, ha ha)
anywayy, i am still so sprung.
but i'm not going to dwell on it if i can help it because it makes me feel very restless and uncomfortable.
my sister has this theory where i've been in CTC with all the richfucks for too long and wealth isn't fun to me anymore.
fun is now anything that is different.
mm, maybe.
but i'm sure it's not just that.
novelty cannot possibly get me so worked up.
it's more than just a mere obsession now.
the thing is, i don't know what that makes it.
and since there is nothing more i can do until dawn (and i am still not in the right emotional and mental state to watch that show again), i can spend some time thinking about other things.
so my brother's little girlfriend password protected her blog.
the simple-minded creature thought that would deter us.
or rather, my delightful sister who rather prides herself on giving me very detailed updates on our latest Romeo&Juliet (so named, drawing inspiration from the iconic prologue of the famous play by W.Shakespeare with emphasis on: "a pair of star-crossed lovers"/"misadventured piteous overthrows"/"death mark'd love")
she was sadly wrong, of course.
as if a little obstacle like that could possibly intimidate my sister- HTML supremo, and me- stalker numero uno.
that sad, misguided little fool.
so i told my brother on his blog that really, she can take the stupid thing off now because that one day, i clicked on her blog link whilst swiping at all the text to highlight them on-screen for easy reading.
and the next thing i knew, i was transported to some password popup which i didn't even want to play with seeing that if anything interesting had been mentioned, my sister would've told me, making snooping by myself a largely unnecessary and fruitless activity.
but i couldn't just back the page, the password popup being of the irritatingly tenacious kinds.
i had to go to great lengths just to escape the stupid page.
and that annoyed the hell out of me.
and today i was sent back to her blog for a look-see.
god, these kids are so fucking stupid.
in fact, it is so stupid that i will make the effort now to go right back just so i can copy and paste what the cretinous fauna had to say.
"Not referring to anyone in particular but the password shit is meant to keep parents out la. Like obviously I know that people can hack inside right? There's something called Mozilla Firefox and i have it. Thankyouverymuch and Godblessyouall"
i have never understood the odd habit of lower species to be so obviously contradictory.
because if they are attempting to inject some dramatic irony into their prose, they are failing horribly.
even worse is the need to lighten the offensive stance of something said by adding some insipid and worthless comment at the end. ( in this case, Thankyouverymuch and Godblessyouall seems to have done it for her very nicely)
in reference to my hierarchy discussion, this female is another example of a specimen from a lower rung.
therefore, impertinence of any sort will not be tolerated.
so much more to be said about the girl who hails from godforsaken Clementi Town Secondary School (what is that? WHAT?!)
like how she is so ridiculously ugly that when my dad first saw a picture of her, he burst into incredulous laughter and started bitchin' about the dropping standards of taste in the family.
(so clever, that man. in one sentence, he's successfully illustrated exactly what he thought of the girl, and my brother's deplorable taste in females as well as giving a subtle, read-between-the-lines compliment to my mother)
apparently, my brother has the Shallow Hal syndrome where only he can see some obscure inner beauty that no one else is privy to.
but i will not waste anymore time on such riff-raff.
in conjunction to this, i also think that my parents shouldn't ever have to worry about who my sister and i mix with as whatever happens, we will never lower ourselves to the point of fraternizing with trash such as her.
will you believe my discretion?
i could've written all those and more anytime in the past month.
but there was not one venomous word because my sister managed to temporarily convince me that the guy being our brother should enjoy a certain level of immunity.
that however does not extend to desperate whores who deem themselves worthy of making veiled snide remarks towards me.
try again, you little witch, and i will most definitely think up a more creative method to deal with it.
got my bank card activated.
and got my laptop.
(:
i cannot believe i have a laptop now.
and i'm not even the slightest bit excited.
even though my laptop is damn pretty.
i guess computers just don't do it for me the way other stuff do.
techgal i am not.
but anyway, much love and thankyous to J, Jos and Max (even though Max was damn lousy and wasn't man enough to carry my laptop for me, ha ha)
anywayy, i am still so sprung.
but i'm not going to dwell on it if i can help it because it makes me feel very restless and uncomfortable.
my sister has this theory where i've been in CTC with all the richfucks for too long and wealth isn't fun to me anymore.
fun is now anything that is different.
mm, maybe.
but i'm sure it's not just that.
novelty cannot possibly get me so worked up.
it's more than just a mere obsession now.
the thing is, i don't know what that makes it.
and since there is nothing more i can do until dawn (and i am still not in the right emotional and mental state to watch that show again), i can spend some time thinking about other things.
so my brother's little girlfriend password protected her blog.
the simple-minded creature thought that would deter us.
or rather, my delightful sister who rather prides herself on giving me very detailed updates on our latest Romeo&Juliet (so named, drawing inspiration from the iconic prologue of the famous play by W.Shakespeare with emphasis on: "a pair of star-crossed lovers"/"misadventured piteous overthrows"/"death mark'd love")
she was sadly wrong, of course.
as if a little obstacle like that could possibly intimidate my sister- HTML supremo, and me- stalker numero uno.
that sad, misguided little fool.
so i told my brother on his blog that really, she can take the stupid thing off now because that one day, i clicked on her blog link whilst swiping at all the text to highlight them on-screen for easy reading.
and the next thing i knew, i was transported to some password popup which i didn't even want to play with seeing that if anything interesting had been mentioned, my sister would've told me, making snooping by myself a largely unnecessary and fruitless activity.
but i couldn't just back the page, the password popup being of the irritatingly tenacious kinds.
i had to go to great lengths just to escape the stupid page.
and that annoyed the hell out of me.
and today i was sent back to her blog for a look-see.
god, these kids are so fucking stupid.
in fact, it is so stupid that i will make the effort now to go right back just so i can copy and paste what the cretinous fauna had to say.
"Not referring to anyone in particular but the password shit is meant to keep parents out la. Like obviously I know that people can hack inside right? There's something called Mozilla Firefox and i have it. Thankyouverymuch and Godblessyouall"
i have never understood the odd habit of lower species to be so obviously contradictory.
because if they are attempting to inject some dramatic irony into their prose, they are failing horribly.
even worse is the need to lighten the offensive stance of something said by adding some insipid and worthless comment at the end. ( in this case, Thankyouverymuch and Godblessyouall seems to have done it for her very nicely)
in reference to my hierarchy discussion, this female is another example of a specimen from a lower rung.
therefore, impertinence of any sort will not be tolerated.
so much more to be said about the girl who hails from godforsaken Clementi Town Secondary School (what is that? WHAT?!)
like how she is so ridiculously ugly that when my dad first saw a picture of her, he burst into incredulous laughter and started bitchin' about the dropping standards of taste in the family.
(so clever, that man. in one sentence, he's successfully illustrated exactly what he thought of the girl, and my brother's deplorable taste in females as well as giving a subtle, read-between-the-lines compliment to my mother)
apparently, my brother has the Shallow Hal syndrome where only he can see some obscure inner beauty that no one else is privy to.
but i will not waste anymore time on such riff-raff.
in conjunction to this, i also think that my parents shouldn't ever have to worry about who my sister and i mix with as whatever happens, we will never lower ourselves to the point of fraternizing with trash such as her.
will you believe my discretion?
i could've written all those and more anytime in the past month.
but there was not one venomous word because my sister managed to temporarily convince me that the guy being our brother should enjoy a certain level of immunity.
that however does not extend to desperate whores who deem themselves worthy of making veiled snide remarks towards me.
try again, you little witch, and i will most definitely think up a more creative method to deal with it.
Monday, September 11, 2006
i find it unbelievably cute, the way he affectionately touches and clings on to everybody.as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do.
(oh, i adore you so!)
-
it's 1:30AM and still not a bloody word from the office.
they're out to get me, they are.
i've dealt with the anxiety attacks by randomly surfing the net and listening to My All by Mariah Carey continuously, making that a grand total of 47 times since 9:30PM
Britney Spears is a fool for letting Justin Timberlake go. it.
OH FAX ME MY LETTER ALREADY!
zuxtt.com, please people!
i really like him a lot.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
so i lied.
i just watched the start of that show.
cannot, i tell you.
all i could say for the next two hours were, "cannot, cannot, i cannot."
i have underestimated my attraction.
seeing him in gay clothing and knowing all the humble beginnings story is something.
but i am not prepared for seeing him in rich bitch mode complete with black business suits and white ralph lauren sweaters.
i mean, i know i like him because he is not my kind of guy.
but seeing him as my kind of guy!
omg.
cannot i tell you, i almost cried.
such confusion.
and i cannot even hate the woman because i adore her.
i have adored her since even before i knew of his existence and to hate her now because she has him seems... wrong.
anyway, i just like her a lot and it's messing me up.
randomly, i don't know why i was lamenting about missing the past habit of clare's to make some bitchy comment about my flavour of the month.
today, i got a text message from clare doubting my love for her because 'you (i) like moley man.'
ha ha ha.
OMG they even have their own collective noun!
Mingen, they are called.
like Brangelina or Tomkat or Bennifer.
):
aiya, forget it lah.
he's somebody else's man.
no more, no more.
clamouring after a taken person is very wrong.
OH, you know he like, had a thing for a nepalese girl?
like when he was still hosting this TV thing where he went to every country in the world doing crazy stunts (with very short, no-nonsense hair and ratty-ish clothes. i tell you, @#$%^&* so hawwwwt)
so they went to nepal.
AND HE FELL IN LOVE WITH SOME LOCAL NEPALESE GIRL.
):
yarr basically he is from the market and he prefers females who come from third world conditions.
really.
he said that.
okay, i know i sound damn bitchy talking about it now.
but when i was listening to the interview about all his stuff, like family and experiences and all, i seriously felt very small and unworthy.
i just watched the start of that show.
cannot, i tell you.
all i could say for the next two hours were, "cannot, cannot, i cannot."
i have underestimated my attraction.
seeing him in gay clothing and knowing all the humble beginnings story is something.
but i am not prepared for seeing him in rich bitch mode complete with black business suits and white ralph lauren sweaters.
i mean, i know i like him because he is not my kind of guy.
but seeing him as my kind of guy!
omg.
cannot i tell you, i almost cried.
such confusion.
and i cannot even hate the woman because i adore her.
i have adored her since even before i knew of his existence and to hate her now because she has him seems... wrong.
anyway, i just like her a lot and it's messing me up.
randomly, i don't know why i was lamenting about missing the past habit of clare's to make some bitchy comment about my flavour of the month.
today, i got a text message from clare doubting my love for her because 'you (i) like moley man.'
ha ha ha.
OMG they even have their own collective noun!
Mingen, they are called.
like Brangelina or Tomkat or Bennifer.
):
aiya, forget it lah.
he's somebody else's man.
no more, no more.
clamouring after a taken person is very wrong.
OH, you know he like, had a thing for a nepalese girl?
like when he was still hosting this TV thing where he went to every country in the world doing crazy stunts (with very short, no-nonsense hair and ratty-ish clothes. i tell you, @#$%^&* so hawwwwt)
so they went to nepal.
AND HE FELL IN LOVE WITH SOME LOCAL NEPALESE GIRL.
):
yarr basically he is from the market and he prefers females who come from third world conditions.
really.
he said that.
okay, i know i sound damn bitchy talking about it now.
but when i was listening to the interview about all his stuff, like family and experiences and all, i seriously felt very small and unworthy.
yes, i actually felt unworthy of someone who dropped out of school and grew up in a market.
it's like, they're all so much better and bigger people than me with my stuff and all.
maybe that's why i am so drawn to the person.
not that it matters now since he is like, totally her's.
BUT what the heck la, i will persevere and watch the goddamn show and try not to die whenever he appears in non-gay clothes and makes everybody's lives miserable being bitchy and horrible.
i was so grateful for his accented english-speaking in the show because if not for that bringing me back from the brink, i swear i would've fallen to the floor wailing helplessly.
why wailing, i have no idea either.
i just kept wanting to cry, or throw a fit or run into a wall.
i don't knowwwwwwwww.
keep wanting to say i don't know.
don't know, don't know, i don't know la.
very irritating right.
grr.
i have to drug this away, and tomorrow i will wake up pleased and happy that they are collectively known as mingen.
not be getting all weird and... YOU KNOW I FEEL SO SUPPRESSED.
i don't know what this is!
): ): ):
forget it la, where is my cough mixture.
i am going to fully overdose and die since the attempts to overdose on him just ended with me musing to self in the shower that people who died of drug overdose must've died happy at least.
this is very wrong and twisted.
i still have stuff to worry about you knowwww.
): visaaaaaa
okay lah bye i want to commit suicide.
stupid miserable market moley man.
(i cannot believe i can still alliterate at this point, rawr!)
and if their chemistry is as good as i presume it must be,
(because if the kissing is so lame, and the plot so sketchy, then it's gotta be the chemistry that got them such a huge following)
then i will be infatuated with the couple instead of being singularly obsessed with the male.
i mean, it's really sweet and all that i like him so unconditionally.
but seriously, all those feminine theatrics about vague hints of jealousy are getting to me.
jealousy is such a worthless emotion.
the tricky part is that i am drawn to the humble real guy thing.
okay, overdose now.
overdose is key.
overdose.
alright, no more. i promise.
:D
(because if the kissing is so lame, and the plot so sketchy, then it's gotta be the chemistry that got them such a huge following)
then i will be infatuated with the couple instead of being singularly obsessed with the male.
i mean, it's really sweet and all that i like him so unconditionally.
but seriously, all those feminine theatrics about vague hints of jealousy are getting to me.
jealousy is such a worthless emotion.
the tricky part is that i am drawn to the humble real guy thing.
okay, overdose now.
overdose is key.
overdose.
alright, no more. i promise.
:D
OKAY, I'M GOING TO WATCH THE SHOW.
because the key to getting over someone is to overdose.
hey ho.
(:
because the key to getting over someone is to overdose.
hey ho.
(:
ain't nobody ever make me feel so small.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
it's 2:30AM and my whole family is awake.
not natural, surely.
only a week left and i still have a million things i haven't done which need to be done.
ugh i hate this feeling of being pushed to a deadline.
i blog compulsively when i get hyped.
it really gets annoying.
topic of debate for today was whether i should waste somemore of my already limited time to do things that i have to do watching the stupid show.
i still don't want to.
but i want to.
you get?
i am so strangely attracted to the man that it's starting to feel like i'm sec2 again and there are such things as attraction without reason.
feels kinda gooooood.
methinks i've had it with analysing and making lists of qualities worthy of my attention.
i mean, as long as i like right, who cares if he ain't anything i usually want?
want to sleep now because i don't want to sleep till late afternoon again and waste all that precious time where i could do some quality vegging out in front of the TV.
still so high, though.
it's starting to get ridiculous, this.
ohwell :)
also trying to quit habit of compulsively starting lines with 'and' as well as the overusage of 'totally'.
it's been so long that i've forgotten what i once had.
and when a memory is jolted, it suddenly makes me realise how much i want those time to come back again.
and wonder if i will ever have them again.
when every moment can be spent laughing hysterically over silly ideas juggled and there is never really a dull moment.
never a point when it starts to feel like it's a one-man conversation.
knowing that for everything i say, there will be something said in return to equal or better it.
clare, will i ever see you again?
):
i don't mean to get sentimental.
but there are moments when i get jolted by how different things are, no matter how comfortable the current situation.
the funny thing is, while i never doubted the importance of it all (that is, clare and our nine years of friendship), i've only just figured that everything isn't just important,
it's irreplaceable.
i don't want to lose it because it's the one friendship i never got sick of.
and now i am both a little emo about what just hit me as well as still being strangely high with thoughts of the adorable market boy with the sexy eyebrow mole.
i'm so confused and conflicted that i'm better off sleeping.
ONE MORE WEEK!
):
i don't wanna go.
not natural, surely.
only a week left and i still have a million things i haven't done which need to be done.
ugh i hate this feeling of being pushed to a deadline.
i blog compulsively when i get hyped.
it really gets annoying.
topic of debate for today was whether i should waste somemore of my already limited time to do things that i have to do watching the stupid show.
i still don't want to.
but i want to.
you get?
i am so strangely attracted to the man that it's starting to feel like i'm sec2 again and there are such things as attraction without reason.
feels kinda gooooood.
methinks i've had it with analysing and making lists of qualities worthy of my attention.
i mean, as long as i like right, who cares if he ain't anything i usually want?
want to sleep now because i don't want to sleep till late afternoon again and waste all that precious time where i could do some quality vegging out in front of the TV.
still so high, though.
it's starting to get ridiculous, this.
ohwell :)
also trying to quit habit of compulsively starting lines with 'and' as well as the overusage of 'totally'.
it's been so long that i've forgotten what i once had.
and when a memory is jolted, it suddenly makes me realise how much i want those time to come back again.
and wonder if i will ever have them again.
when every moment can be spent laughing hysterically over silly ideas juggled and there is never really a dull moment.
never a point when it starts to feel like it's a one-man conversation.
knowing that for everything i say, there will be something said in return to equal or better it.
clare, will i ever see you again?
):
i don't mean to get sentimental.
but there are moments when i get jolted by how different things are, no matter how comfortable the current situation.
the funny thing is, while i never doubted the importance of it all (that is, clare and our nine years of friendship), i've only just figured that everything isn't just important,
it's irreplaceable.
i don't want to lose it because it's the one friendship i never got sick of.
and now i am both a little emo about what just hit me as well as still being strangely high with thoughts of the adorable market boy with the sexy eyebrow mole.
i'm so confused and conflicted that i'm better off sleeping.
ONE MORE WEEK!
):
i don't wanna go.
omg die mingdao officially commands heart-pounding status.
):
anyway, saw Westlife last night courtesy of aunt & family.
always did like Westlife seeing they mentioned Backstreet in their credits for the first album.
and there can never be anything to fault their singing with.
crowd energy was seriously sad at first, though.
and i felt so embarrassed especially when they sang Senorita and the crowd was supposed to sing the ' i don't know what i'm thinkin' about, really leaving with you.' part
it'll be like, silence.
and someone, Mark i think, has to sing the line.
in addition to that, there was still that imbecile seated directly behind me who was doing a lot of unconstructive shrieking.
she'd be giving out these shrill yelps at the most inappropriate moments.
when she should be singing some part of some song, dead silence.
and then when they are singing and the crowd in general quietens down to listen, suddenly she screeches.
and it's not even like she's screeching out anything.
merely just emitting a very loud, very high 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'
SERIOUSLY.
and the sad thing was that her obliging boyfriend was the one who would yell 'Nickyyyy!'
man, i swear i've sustained some major injury enduring all her high-pitched screams.
she has ruined my eardrums extensively.
but anyway, the fans' antics towards the end were priceless.
i had good fun looking at what they were doing.
Westlife's You Raise Me Up at the end was electrifying.
i frankly am no good critic for this because i don't go to concerts and i'm a Backstreet fan.
but Jos is so right.
Shane really bloody sings like an angel.
ha ha.
was painful at some points seeing the unenthusiastic responses from the crowd.
but yeah well, whatever.
Mark looked chubby from where i was sitting.
okay, i was quite blase throughout the concert because everybody around me were sitting quietly (except for the brainless cow at the back randomly emitting mating calls)
almost made me wish i was up front with Jos and all the other crazy fans, just so i could get into the spirit of things too.
WHY DIDN'T THEY SING UNBREAKABLE?
):
my sister wants me to watch the other mingdao show which i was very very against from the day she first described its plot to me.
i mean, i've hated the amnesia plot ever since daomingsi lost his memory and became the whiny loser who cleaned tables in MGII.
so don't you think double amnesia is a little too much?
the guy loses his memory.
then he loses his memory again.
like, are you kidding me?
and you know, i totally am convinced he has something going with the lead actress.
really, really ):
and my sister's still like, "watch wangzi, watch wangzi! your mingdao!"
so i'll be all, "cannot lah. jealous ): ): ): "
really, i think i will die if i see the sparks fly in the show because totally swear to god they totally have something going on.
so i cannot watch the show because seeing the person you wanna shag kiss the person he wants to shag is just wrong, YOU KNOW?
okay so im very sad because i want to see him because so shaggedelic in weird way but i dont want to see him happening with the woman who i actually really like too and besides all that i really dont want to get myself tied down to that taiwanese opera with lousy plot and lousy acting (exclude mingdao because i think he should be mine)
i dont even know why i want to shag him laaaaa.
but i just want to.
actually i think it's because i am also convinced that he is bisexual and i love the way he talks about stuff like it happens everyday.
and he knows all the six contraceptive methods for a woman (of which i totally only knew two) and how they work and all the mechanisms involved which i find strangely stimulating.... but okay something tells me that was a serious overshare.
off to jos' now!
):
anyway, saw Westlife last night courtesy of aunt & family.
always did like Westlife seeing they mentioned Backstreet in their credits for the first album.
and there can never be anything to fault their singing with.
crowd energy was seriously sad at first, though.
and i felt so embarrassed especially when they sang Senorita and the crowd was supposed to sing the ' i don't know what i'm thinkin' about, really leaving with you.' part
it'll be like, silence.
and someone, Mark i think, has to sing the line.
in addition to that, there was still that imbecile seated directly behind me who was doing a lot of unconstructive shrieking.
she'd be giving out these shrill yelps at the most inappropriate moments.
when she should be singing some part of some song, dead silence.
and then when they are singing and the crowd in general quietens down to listen, suddenly she screeches.
and it's not even like she's screeching out anything.
merely just emitting a very loud, very high 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'
SERIOUSLY.
and the sad thing was that her obliging boyfriend was the one who would yell 'Nickyyyy!'
man, i swear i've sustained some major injury enduring all her high-pitched screams.
she has ruined my eardrums extensively.
but anyway, the fans' antics towards the end were priceless.
i had good fun looking at what they were doing.
Westlife's You Raise Me Up at the end was electrifying.
i frankly am no good critic for this because i don't go to concerts and i'm a Backstreet fan.
but Jos is so right.
Shane really bloody sings like an angel.
ha ha.
was painful at some points seeing the unenthusiastic responses from the crowd.
but yeah well, whatever.
Mark looked chubby from where i was sitting.
okay, i was quite blase throughout the concert because everybody around me were sitting quietly (except for the brainless cow at the back randomly emitting mating calls)
almost made me wish i was up front with Jos and all the other crazy fans, just so i could get into the spirit of things too.
WHY DIDN'T THEY SING UNBREAKABLE?
):
my sister wants me to watch the other mingdao show which i was very very against from the day she first described its plot to me.
i mean, i've hated the amnesia plot ever since daomingsi lost his memory and became the whiny loser who cleaned tables in MGII.
so don't you think double amnesia is a little too much?
the guy loses his memory.
then he loses his memory again.
like, are you kidding me?
and you know, i totally am convinced he has something going with the lead actress.
really, really ):
and my sister's still like, "watch wangzi, watch wangzi! your mingdao!"
so i'll be all, "cannot lah. jealous ): ): ): "
really, i think i will die if i see the sparks fly in the show because totally swear to god they totally have something going on.
so i cannot watch the show because seeing the person you wanna shag kiss the person he wants to shag is just wrong, YOU KNOW?
okay so im very sad because i want to see him because so shaggedelic in weird way but i dont want to see him happening with the woman who i actually really like too and besides all that i really dont want to get myself tied down to that taiwanese opera with lousy plot and lousy acting (exclude mingdao because i think he should be mine)
i dont even know why i want to shag him laaaaa.
but i just want to.
actually i think it's because i am also convinced that he is bisexual and i love the way he talks about stuff like it happens everyday.
and he knows all the six contraceptive methods for a woman (of which i totally only knew two) and how they work and all the mechanisms involved which i find strangely stimulating.... but okay something tells me that was a serious overshare.
off to jos' now!
Friday, September 08, 2006
hello, anybody into parties?
check out zuxtt.com, please!
(i don't know how to link stuff, but do me a favour and check it out, thanks)
:D
last night i met j and jos and their little friend from harvard at the Fullerton Lighthouse.
it was okaaaaaaaay.
(looks around shiftily)
guys, i miss Fullerton and the times we had at their chocolate buffet.
ANYWAY, later on i had a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
i tagged along with josephine when she went off to the airport to meet Westlife.
i've never before done something as... hysterical.
there were only a small number of fans, but ohlord were they loony.
josephine, i tell you, went absolutely insane.
off her rocker.
and i was standing at the very back with two cameras in my hand, feeling very confused and lost.
not to mention, humiliated out of my brains.
i never thought that i would one day be at the airport specially to get a split-second glimpse of some celebrity.
and the maxi-cab uncles were all laughing at me.
):
they kept giggling and jostling about, happily chattering in chinese, telling me that it was futile and i should just take a picture of them instead.
and then this uncle started posing in front of me.
was already so nervous with the two cameras in hand poised to take videos of Westlife being led away to their cars for jos and her fellow Westlife fan, and here the man goes prancing in front of me in various ridiculous poses.
so i wailed in chinese and pleaded for mercy.
truth be told, i never knew i could be so fluent in chinese.
ha ha.
but then i guess, desperate times called for desperate measures and my brain kicked into emergency gear when the man started blocking my view of the crowd along with my chances of getting at least one shot of the irish group for the rabid fans.
anyway, i was desperately trying to play it cool and all.
but seriously, with two cameras in hand and a nervous disposition, there really wasn't much i could do to redeem my image in front of the jeering old cabbies and the two indian women who were manning the counter.
then we even chased them to their hotel.
and the guards wouldn't let them in because they were hopping and screeching.
i was so drained by then that i just slumped onto one of the pillars and when suitable time had passed, quietly let myself into the hotel.
so that was my crazy night.
and i think i am supposed to go to the Westlife concert tonight.
but i suddenly just want to stay home and watch video clips on youtube.com
so recently, i decided that i was desperate enough to succumb to my sister's taiwanese dramas.
like, the totally uncool kinds.
not the cool ones i used to watch back when i actually had a life.
heh, anyway i decided that in a really really strange way, i am very attracted to MingDao.
and if you will believe it, the thing that really got me at first (you know my tendency to obsess) was his mole near his eyebrow.
okay i know it sounds ridiculous.
DON'T LAUGH.
i just like it a lot.
):
but anyway, i also think he is bisexual ( <3 !! ) and i like the way he speaks because he sounds so commoner and not all lead actor in idol drama saying lines to get all the girls.
okay, that somehow didn't sound like i was complimenting him.
i have this problem where my compliments never come out sounding sincere.
what i meant was, he is very natural.
and he never makes me cringe.
there!
(:
you know, i tried to cut back on the smileys and sad faces because they look so unprofessional and immature.
but when i am hyper (like now), if i don't put them, something just feels all wrong.
so i decided, to hell with trying to look cool and i'm just gonna put my smileys whenever and wherever the hell i want them.
:D
okay, last night i thought i was just a little bit into him.
but just a second ago, as i envisioned his funny looking face, i got some serious heart twinge.
and i like it when he laughs as well because he looks so happy.
his eyes get all crinkled up and no matter what he always looks like he is howling in happiness.
in this very everyday-guy kinda way.
and i like that he isn't all uppity and high class.
and i also get the impression from video clips i've seen as well as stuff my sister has told me that he grew up in a market.
as in, you know, his humble parents owns a humble store in a humble food market.
AIYA, SO CUTE!
ha ha ha ha.
so different from the normal kinds i get weepy over.
like, the happy laughing face and the non putting on airs.
plus the way he talks about everything like it's the most normal thing on earth.
aiyerr, wo xi huan la!
(:
i am raving.
yes, i know.
why is it that some people can look so happy when they laugh?
and some other people (ie. me) cannot even appear vaguely likeable even when they giggle?
i think my face is out to get me.
people just hate me on sight.
and that is before i start to talk!
(where, after, they hate me even more because there is never a nice, normal word coming out of my mouth)
woe.
you know last night, the waitress at the Lighthouse totally wanted to stab me with my cutlery.
and i swear i didn't do anything!
i didn't refuse her escargot.
or snub her foie gras.
and i was there for only, what, 10 minutes!
people just discriminate against my ugly face.
it is not fair.
like, some ugly people still look kind.
but i just happen to have the unfortunate sort of ugly, unkind face.
grarr.
oh but whatever!
i am going to see Westlife.
heh.
and then i can come home and see my sexy mole.
(:
yarr i want to shag him because he is so not my kind and i am really into the not my kind kinda guys now because it is just so deviant harharhar.
i will stop now because am so hyper that will soon start sounding superbly x-rated when i don't really mean it actually.
going back UK in a week oh god i dont want to!
whenever its time to go back, i feel like i'm strapped to a timebomb and everything is going to end and i have so many things left to do and i really dont want to go but i have to and i am so so so sad.
ahwell off to see the laddies from Ireland now.
check out zuxtt.com, please!
(i don't know how to link stuff, but do me a favour and check it out, thanks)
:D
last night i met j and jos and their little friend from harvard at the Fullerton Lighthouse.
it was okaaaaaaaay.
(looks around shiftily)
guys, i miss Fullerton and the times we had at their chocolate buffet.
ANYWAY, later on i had a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
i tagged along with josephine when she went off to the airport to meet Westlife.
i've never before done something as... hysterical.
there were only a small number of fans, but ohlord were they loony.
josephine, i tell you, went absolutely insane.
off her rocker.
and i was standing at the very back with two cameras in my hand, feeling very confused and lost.
not to mention, humiliated out of my brains.
i never thought that i would one day be at the airport specially to get a split-second glimpse of some celebrity.
and the maxi-cab uncles were all laughing at me.
):
they kept giggling and jostling about, happily chattering in chinese, telling me that it was futile and i should just take a picture of them instead.
and then this uncle started posing in front of me.
was already so nervous with the two cameras in hand poised to take videos of Westlife being led away to their cars for jos and her fellow Westlife fan, and here the man goes prancing in front of me in various ridiculous poses.
so i wailed in chinese and pleaded for mercy.
truth be told, i never knew i could be so fluent in chinese.
ha ha.
but then i guess, desperate times called for desperate measures and my brain kicked into emergency gear when the man started blocking my view of the crowd along with my chances of getting at least one shot of the irish group for the rabid fans.
anyway, i was desperately trying to play it cool and all.
but seriously, with two cameras in hand and a nervous disposition, there really wasn't much i could do to redeem my image in front of the jeering old cabbies and the two indian women who were manning the counter.
then we even chased them to their hotel.
and the guards wouldn't let them in because they were hopping and screeching.
i was so drained by then that i just slumped onto one of the pillars and when suitable time had passed, quietly let myself into the hotel.
so that was my crazy night.
and i think i am supposed to go to the Westlife concert tonight.
but i suddenly just want to stay home and watch video clips on youtube.com
so recently, i decided that i was desperate enough to succumb to my sister's taiwanese dramas.
like, the totally uncool kinds.
not the cool ones i used to watch back when i actually had a life.
heh, anyway i decided that in a really really strange way, i am very attracted to MingDao.
and if you will believe it, the thing that really got me at first (you know my tendency to obsess) was his mole near his eyebrow.
okay i know it sounds ridiculous.
DON'T LAUGH.
i just like it a lot.
):
but anyway, i also think he is bisexual ( <3 !! ) and i like the way he speaks because he sounds so commoner and not all lead actor in idol drama saying lines to get all the girls.
okay, that somehow didn't sound like i was complimenting him.
i have this problem where my compliments never come out sounding sincere.
what i meant was, he is very natural.
and he never makes me cringe.
there!
(:
you know, i tried to cut back on the smileys and sad faces because they look so unprofessional and immature.
but when i am hyper (like now), if i don't put them, something just feels all wrong.
so i decided, to hell with trying to look cool and i'm just gonna put my smileys whenever and wherever the hell i want them.
:D
okay, last night i thought i was just a little bit into him.
but just a second ago, as i envisioned his funny looking face, i got some serious heart twinge.
and i like it when he laughs as well because he looks so happy.
his eyes get all crinkled up and no matter what he always looks like he is howling in happiness.
in this very everyday-guy kinda way.
and i like that he isn't all uppity and high class.
and i also get the impression from video clips i've seen as well as stuff my sister has told me that he grew up in a market.
as in, you know, his humble parents owns a humble store in a humble food market.
AIYA, SO CUTE!
ha ha ha ha.
so different from the normal kinds i get weepy over.
like, the happy laughing face and the non putting on airs.
plus the way he talks about everything like it's the most normal thing on earth.
aiyerr, wo xi huan la!
(:
i am raving.
yes, i know.
why is it that some people can look so happy when they laugh?
and some other people (ie. me) cannot even appear vaguely likeable even when they giggle?
i think my face is out to get me.
people just hate me on sight.
and that is before i start to talk!
(where, after, they hate me even more because there is never a nice, normal word coming out of my mouth)
woe.
you know last night, the waitress at the Lighthouse totally wanted to stab me with my cutlery.
and i swear i didn't do anything!
i didn't refuse her escargot.
or snub her foie gras.
and i was there for only, what, 10 minutes!
people just discriminate against my ugly face.
it is not fair.
like, some ugly people still look kind.
but i just happen to have the unfortunate sort of ugly, unkind face.
grarr.
oh but whatever!
i am going to see Westlife.
heh.
and then i can come home and see my sexy mole.
(:
yarr i want to shag him because he is so not my kind and i am really into the not my kind kinda guys now because it is just so deviant harharhar.
i will stop now because am so hyper that will soon start sounding superbly x-rated when i don't really mean it actually.
going back UK in a week oh god i dont want to!
whenever its time to go back, i feel like i'm strapped to a timebomb and everything is going to end and i have so many things left to do and i really dont want to go but i have to and i am so so so sad.
ahwell off to see the laddies from Ireland now.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
ha ha, we finally found out which day Singapore Idol played and today, i watched it for the first time.
yay :D
there are only four left, though.
the malay guy's the best, i think.
i don't even know why chinese people bother.
chinese people aren't genetically made for performing.
chinese people are made for doing mathematical equations.
i was so irritated when that jasmine sang Foolish Games.
that is like, totally my song, HELLO.
grr.
okay lah, i'm just sore because even though i didn't like her rendition much, there really isn't anything i can complain about her singing.
plus there's the thing about me suffering from permanent vocal damage.
so i am forever condemned to silence now as opposed to that woman belting it out on national TV.
so, grr grr grrrrrrr.
because you know, like, i totally can sing it better.
(flutters bitchily)
ha ha ha, okay whatever man.
i am still very bitter over my voice's defection.
anybody who can talk pisses me off now.
but anywayyyyy, i had a damn awesome date today!
oh, beams.
come to think of it, am actually quite cheery despite loss of voice.
i woke up at 4 this morning and hypered around the house till 6.
was reading my sec two diary (it's fuckin' hilarious, omg)
and texting Clare and Charlotte when i saw some random bit of my past i'd forgotten but just read in my diary.
i much much prefer my sec two self to my sec one self.
at least i was normal in sec two.
me at age 13 = intolerably cringe-worthy.
i read the sec one diary, died, and proceeded to spend the next three hours writing in my current diary apologising to my future self for the behaviour of my past self.
another random thing to talk about is that i was reminded of my great, unexplained love for A.T
(omg, NOT Anthony Tan okay!)
i think of the millions of penises i used to find myself in love with, this was the one that caused Clare the most grief.
ha ha ha :D
because i knew like, this much (hand gesture to illustrate very very little) about him.
but i could spend days just obsessing about his first name, or his puppydog eyes or whatever.
heh, so stupid.
and the pain it put me through, omg.
BUT, i never learn and i never fail to get nostalgic about the past.
so now i want to find him.
like, search him out to see how he looks like now.
and... i guess, giggle like a baboon whilst obsessing about the way his eyelashes flutter.
yes, i definitely miss those crazy sec two days and the mad phases i went through.
i even miss the way Clare invariably came up with a creative bitch phrase to go with whatever nutty scheme i was into at that point.
OH I AM GOING TO FIND YOU, BOY WHO ZINGED ME!
(gleeful)
i think it's the amazement that being zinged can actually be a physical reaction and not just an expression that's causing such fond remembrance even after four years.
but enough about that.
on to important stuff.
DON'T EVER GO TO CALIFORNIA FITNESS!
god, the people there are such bitches.
i'm going to hold a grudge till the day i destroy the entire establishment and see to it personally that the sorry asses of Sulynn and Julie Tan are history.
Julie Tan because she is was the one who i contracted with, though i must stress that in fact, she had made the contract with my sister and therefore the contract is wrong because my sister is a fucking minor.
actually, i'm a minor too so there is no contract in actual fact.
you know that fat bitch pulled my sister into the office while i was talking to this other person and got my sister to sign the contract without my knowledge?!
i mean, we all know how stupid (and not to mention, filthy rich) my sister is right.
so the woman tell her to sign the paper, she sign.
ask her to give her visa card number, she also give.
by the time i found my sister again, they'd already debited the fucking money from her account.
and i was so fucking annoyed but what the hell, didn't want to make too much trouble.
so i just pointedly told the woman that she should know that my sister is a minor and rightfully, there is no contract and therefore no debiting of money till we get parental consent.
it's even right there written in the fucking terms and conditions and the devious, mercenary bitch just went right ahead anyway.
but she had to agree with me right.
so fuck it, we left that alone.
then because i was already so suspicious of the place, i made damn sure with the woman that all the money was paid up front and there will be no further payment to be made.
she replied affimative.
THEN GUESS WHAT I SAW DEBITED FROM MY SISTER'S ACCOUNT THIS MONTH?!
fucking bitches at California Fitness debited a hundred odd from her account.
i swear i got so incensed i wanted to set the place on fire.
so then i stormed into the godforsaken place in full bitchy mode demanding an explanation.
was actually damn tired and feeling extremely benign right before i walked into the place, but god did i want to give them some attitude.
so i gathered all my acting sprit and stalked into the place.
stood there for awhile just glaring at all the california gym underlings looking for the fat slab of malaysian ass Julie Tan.
and at the very moment i looked back at the counter after surveying the area, she bounced into the reception area.
i was so into the attitude thing, i couldn't even speak (i tell you, i'm going down. dowwwwn)
so i pointed my index finger right in her direction and said,"YOU."
then a pause as she reacted before i uttered another guttural,"HERE."
she walked up and was in nonchalant can-i-help-you mode.
until i turned on the bitchy snob act and started speaking with long english words i usually don't even know i have in my vocabulary.
and then the climax.
i whipped out the bank statement (with the offending transfer circled viciously in green),
slapped it on the counter and went, "I want an explanation."
i think the rich bitch act rang a few bells because immediately, Julie Tan remembered even the fact that i am returning to the UK in September.
and she specifically said to come back on the 5th of September to get the refund.
so i went back on the 5th and GUESS WHO WAS ON FUCKING OFF DAY.
i was damn irritated.
and i acted even more so, because damn me, i wanted to make a fucking scene to show my displeasure.
AND THEN THIS SULYNN CAME INTO THE PICTURE.
manager, you say?
you know, i cannot even be bothered to bitch about her.
i'm saving it all for more important documents.
her with that dimunitive figure, staring up at me with those stray-bitch eyes and trying to frighten me off with that condescending tone.
sorry lady, but i ain't my sister.
and nobody talks to me in that tone.
Julie Tan is just stupid and irresponsible.
a minor irritation at best.
negligible.
but this Sulynn was rude.
and she tried to patronize me.
that is unforgivable.
you see, i believe that everything in life is a part of an hierarchy.
and if you're from a lower rung, then you jolly well shut up and take shit and not even try to act like you're better.
(damn right, i am not into equality and human rights. bite me)
see, in California Fitness, she is in the service sector.
a mere wage-earner, getting her monthly pay from the money earned from people who go to the place.
and i am a paying customer.
therefore, in the sad little land of California Fitness, Sulynn, I am king.
and you are nothing.
and i do not tolerate people who try to go against the natural order of things.
even if i cannot get her ass fired now, i bloody goddamn swear that when i get the necessary power (and believe me, i will.) that pitiful excuse of a lifeform will be completely and irretrievably ruined.
because i will crush her.
you see the thing is, i might seem like just another frivolous, spiteful banshee.
but the thing that sets me apart from all other frivolous, spiteful banshees is the fact that i am a frivolous, spiteful banshee who really knows how to hold grudges.
i have never forgiven anybody once i've condemned them.
and i don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
so whatever it takes, i will destroy her.
bitch.
okay, i didn't put my heart into that.
(seeing the fact that i really am not in the angsty, angry kind of mood these days)
so it really isn't top-rate, but i try.
i just had to broadcast the pathetic, deplorable standard of customer service in California Fitness.
god, i want power so bad.
i've only just realised that the main reason why i am so obsessed with money is because of the power it can buy me.
so, materialistic, i think, was a wrong description of me.
more accurate would be power-hungry.
(:
oh, the new HeJunXiang show is supposed to be a flop.
now i don't know if i want to get it.
because the concept of the show appeals to me.
but then again, his shows only work when he's acting with ArielLin because their on-screen chemistry is crazy.
ha, whatever.
i'm still actually feeling very merry.
(okay, i know nobody is going to believe that seeing i just devoted an awful lot of words discussing the annihilation of an offending working class peasant. but it's true okay.)
and i think i'm getting used to this non-singing like a bird thing.
ha ha.
oh, starting to get pangs about leaving again.
so that's a sad thing.
but it really is the only sad thing about my life now so it's all cool.
yay :D
there are only four left, though.
the malay guy's the best, i think.
i don't even know why chinese people bother.
chinese people aren't genetically made for performing.
chinese people are made for doing mathematical equations.
i was so irritated when that jasmine sang Foolish Games.
that is like, totally my song, HELLO.
grr.
okay lah, i'm just sore because even though i didn't like her rendition much, there really isn't anything i can complain about her singing.
plus there's the thing about me suffering from permanent vocal damage.
so i am forever condemned to silence now as opposed to that woman belting it out on national TV.
so, grr grr grrrrrrr.
because you know, like, i totally can sing it better.
(flutters bitchily)
ha ha ha, okay whatever man.
i am still very bitter over my voice's defection.
anybody who can talk pisses me off now.
but anywayyyyy, i had a damn awesome date today!
oh, beams.
come to think of it, am actually quite cheery despite loss of voice.
i woke up at 4 this morning and hypered around the house till 6.
was reading my sec two diary (it's fuckin' hilarious, omg)
and texting Clare and Charlotte when i saw some random bit of my past i'd forgotten but just read in my diary.
i much much prefer my sec two self to my sec one self.
at least i was normal in sec two.
me at age 13 = intolerably cringe-worthy.
i read the sec one diary, died, and proceeded to spend the next three hours writing in my current diary apologising to my future self for the behaviour of my past self.
another random thing to talk about is that i was reminded of my great, unexplained love for A.T
(omg, NOT Anthony Tan okay!)
i think of the millions of penises i used to find myself in love with, this was the one that caused Clare the most grief.
ha ha ha :D
because i knew like, this much (hand gesture to illustrate very very little) about him.
but i could spend days just obsessing about his first name, or his puppydog eyes or whatever.
heh, so stupid.
and the pain it put me through, omg.
BUT, i never learn and i never fail to get nostalgic about the past.
so now i want to find him.
like, search him out to see how he looks like now.
and... i guess, giggle like a baboon whilst obsessing about the way his eyelashes flutter.
yes, i definitely miss those crazy sec two days and the mad phases i went through.
i even miss the way Clare invariably came up with a creative bitch phrase to go with whatever nutty scheme i was into at that point.
OH I AM GOING TO FIND YOU, BOY WHO ZINGED ME!
(gleeful)
i think it's the amazement that being zinged can actually be a physical reaction and not just an expression that's causing such fond remembrance even after four years.
but enough about that.
on to important stuff.
DON'T EVER GO TO CALIFORNIA FITNESS!
god, the people there are such bitches.
i'm going to hold a grudge till the day i destroy the entire establishment and see to it personally that the sorry asses of Sulynn and Julie Tan are history.
Julie Tan because she is was the one who i contracted with, though i must stress that in fact, she had made the contract with my sister and therefore the contract is wrong because my sister is a fucking minor.
actually, i'm a minor too so there is no contract in actual fact.
you know that fat bitch pulled my sister into the office while i was talking to this other person and got my sister to sign the contract without my knowledge?!
i mean, we all know how stupid (and not to mention, filthy rich) my sister is right.
so the woman tell her to sign the paper, she sign.
ask her to give her visa card number, she also give.
by the time i found my sister again, they'd already debited the fucking money from her account.
and i was so fucking annoyed but what the hell, didn't want to make too much trouble.
so i just pointedly told the woman that she should know that my sister is a minor and rightfully, there is no contract and therefore no debiting of money till we get parental consent.
it's even right there written in the fucking terms and conditions and the devious, mercenary bitch just went right ahead anyway.
but she had to agree with me right.
so fuck it, we left that alone.
then because i was already so suspicious of the place, i made damn sure with the woman that all the money was paid up front and there will be no further payment to be made.
she replied affimative.
THEN GUESS WHAT I SAW DEBITED FROM MY SISTER'S ACCOUNT THIS MONTH?!
fucking bitches at California Fitness debited a hundred odd from her account.
i swear i got so incensed i wanted to set the place on fire.
so then i stormed into the godforsaken place in full bitchy mode demanding an explanation.
was actually damn tired and feeling extremely benign right before i walked into the place, but god did i want to give them some attitude.
so i gathered all my acting sprit and stalked into the place.
stood there for awhile just glaring at all the california gym underlings looking for the fat slab of malaysian ass Julie Tan.
and at the very moment i looked back at the counter after surveying the area, she bounced into the reception area.
i was so into the attitude thing, i couldn't even speak (i tell you, i'm going down. dowwwwn)
so i pointed my index finger right in her direction and said,"YOU."
then a pause as she reacted before i uttered another guttural,"HERE."
she walked up and was in nonchalant can-i-help-you mode.
until i turned on the bitchy snob act and started speaking with long english words i usually don't even know i have in my vocabulary.
and then the climax.
i whipped out the bank statement (with the offending transfer circled viciously in green),
slapped it on the counter and went, "I want an explanation."
i think the rich bitch act rang a few bells because immediately, Julie Tan remembered even the fact that i am returning to the UK in September.
and she specifically said to come back on the 5th of September to get the refund.
so i went back on the 5th and GUESS WHO WAS ON FUCKING OFF DAY.
i was damn irritated.
and i acted even more so, because damn me, i wanted to make a fucking scene to show my displeasure.
AND THEN THIS SULYNN CAME INTO THE PICTURE.
manager, you say?
you know, i cannot even be bothered to bitch about her.
i'm saving it all for more important documents.
her with that dimunitive figure, staring up at me with those stray-bitch eyes and trying to frighten me off with that condescending tone.
sorry lady, but i ain't my sister.
and nobody talks to me in that tone.
Julie Tan is just stupid and irresponsible.
a minor irritation at best.
negligible.
but this Sulynn was rude.
and she tried to patronize me.
that is unforgivable.
you see, i believe that everything in life is a part of an hierarchy.
and if you're from a lower rung, then you jolly well shut up and take shit and not even try to act like you're better.
(damn right, i am not into equality and human rights. bite me)
see, in California Fitness, she is in the service sector.
a mere wage-earner, getting her monthly pay from the money earned from people who go to the place.
and i am a paying customer.
therefore, in the sad little land of California Fitness, Sulynn, I am king.
and you are nothing.
and i do not tolerate people who try to go against the natural order of things.
even if i cannot get her ass fired now, i bloody goddamn swear that when i get the necessary power (and believe me, i will.) that pitiful excuse of a lifeform will be completely and irretrievably ruined.
because i will crush her.
you see the thing is, i might seem like just another frivolous, spiteful banshee.
but the thing that sets me apart from all other frivolous, spiteful banshees is the fact that i am a frivolous, spiteful banshee who really knows how to hold grudges.
i have never forgiven anybody once i've condemned them.
and i don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
so whatever it takes, i will destroy her.
bitch.
okay, i didn't put my heart into that.
(seeing the fact that i really am not in the angsty, angry kind of mood these days)
so it really isn't top-rate, but i try.
i just had to broadcast the pathetic, deplorable standard of customer service in California Fitness.
god, i want power so bad.
i've only just realised that the main reason why i am so obsessed with money is because of the power it can buy me.
so, materialistic, i think, was a wrong description of me.
more accurate would be power-hungry.
(:
oh, the new HeJunXiang show is supposed to be a flop.
now i don't know if i want to get it.
because the concept of the show appeals to me.
but then again, his shows only work when he's acting with ArielLin because their on-screen chemistry is crazy.
ha, whatever.
i'm still actually feeling very merry.
(okay, i know nobody is going to believe that seeing i just devoted an awful lot of words discussing the annihilation of an offending working class peasant. but it's true okay.)
and i think i'm getting used to this non-singing like a bird thing.
ha ha.
oh, starting to get pangs about leaving again.
so that's a sad thing.
but it really is the only sad thing about my life now so it's all cool.
Monday, September 04, 2006
you know how everybody's vain about something of theirs?
like how some people are vain about their shiny hair.
or their flawless complexion;
killer legs, strength, intelligence, handwriting, whatever.
me, i'm kinda vain about my voice.
and it's going.
i think maybe i've caused some permanent vocal damage with my insistence on sleeping with the aircon van blowing right straight at me even though i know it'll make me cough and sniffle and die of allergies; further, there'll be my habit of popping antihistamines like candy- made all the more necessary by allergies exacerbated by freezing my face each night.
and then there's the constant screeching to go with my daily melodrama.
plus the inexplicable, addictive need to sing the last verse of Mariah Carey's We Belong Together repeatedly.
speaking of the song, i have never met a song with a note i couldn't reach till now.
but it's Mariah Carey.
with a five-octave vocal range, you just can't compete.
there is one word of that last verse i am still quite unable to squeak out properly.
such a humbling experience.
i think i need such occurences in my life occasionally to remind me that i am not the Ruler of the Universe.
Yet.
ha ha.
the voice going thing still pains me deeply, though.
i really think i should stop singing for awhile so the cords get a rest.
but you know what, i never knew it would be so hard just to shut up for a bit.
i have never realised till now just how much warbling i do every day.
it's almost as if i'm living in a bloody musical.
every two, three words and i'm breaking out in song.
bloody ridiculous, that.
no wonder Clare always said i sang like a fucking bird and prayed for the day when "a little bone in your throat will finally snap and you (i) can never sing again."
i think that day has come because suddenly i cannot even sing normally without my throat getting all choked up.
okay, i will stop singing.
in fact, i should just stop talking altogether and communicate solely by paper and pen.
afterall, another thing i'm vain about is my handwriting.
(:
like how some people are vain about their shiny hair.
or their flawless complexion;
killer legs, strength, intelligence, handwriting, whatever.
me, i'm kinda vain about my voice.
and it's going.
i think maybe i've caused some permanent vocal damage with my insistence on sleeping with the aircon van blowing right straight at me even though i know it'll make me cough and sniffle and die of allergies; further, there'll be my habit of popping antihistamines like candy- made all the more necessary by allergies exacerbated by freezing my face each night.
and then there's the constant screeching to go with my daily melodrama.
plus the inexplicable, addictive need to sing the last verse of Mariah Carey's We Belong Together repeatedly.
speaking of the song, i have never met a song with a note i couldn't reach till now.
but it's Mariah Carey.
with a five-octave vocal range, you just can't compete.
there is one word of that last verse i am still quite unable to squeak out properly.
such a humbling experience.
i think i need such occurences in my life occasionally to remind me that i am not the Ruler of the Universe.
Yet.
ha ha.
the voice going thing still pains me deeply, though.
i really think i should stop singing for awhile so the cords get a rest.
but you know what, i never knew it would be so hard just to shut up for a bit.
i have never realised till now just how much warbling i do every day.
it's almost as if i'm living in a bloody musical.
every two, three words and i'm breaking out in song.
bloody ridiculous, that.
no wonder Clare always said i sang like a fucking bird and prayed for the day when "a little bone in your throat will finally snap and you (i) can never sing again."
i think that day has come because suddenly i cannot even sing normally without my throat getting all choked up.
okay, i will stop singing.
in fact, i should just stop talking altogether and communicate solely by paper and pen.
afterall, another thing i'm vain about is my handwriting.
(:
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Wentworth Miller is pure sex.