Sunday, June 11, 2006
Theo Walcott has the most exquisite face, ever.
i have such a crush on him.
(:
Jos J and i think that Melanie Slade does not deserve him.
anyway, Jos' blog is so funny.
she is so bitchy and drama these days.
J is abandoning us for her Mister again.
as Jos said in her blog, we have to bloody act like retarded circus clowns just to get a second of her attention.
and when even that fails, we turn nasty.
please sample some of our attention pleading lines:-
"J, all you're made up of is bones and fats." -Jos.
"Jayyyyyy, your hair is so thick. and coarse... Like a dog." -Lee.
"J you're so small when you lose weight, you will completely disappear." -Jos.
"You don't have a bone structure. When you grow old, your face will sink into your neck." -Lee.
there are more, but Jos and i cannot think of them now because it is late and we are tired and J is MIA again.
OH OH OH, just now when we were walking to Blockbuster, we saw this couple outside Fairfield's halls in the open. and the guy's hand was up the girl's skirt.
like, we were behind them.
and his hands were up her skirt from behind.
and her skirt was totally riding up and his hand was fidgeting like crazy.
i tell you, he. was. fingering. her.
bloody english sickos.
not even bothering to find like, some bush to hide in while they play with each other's genitalia.
like, they were even trying to be discreet!
right smack in an open area, not even a bench inside.
and there they are, standing in the middle of the area, nothing blocking them while his fingers had sex with her.
omg omg omg.
Jos' brother just called and he is drunk.
AND HE SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE JOS WHEN SHE'S DRUNK.
!! like, giggling the same way and gurgling around.
so cute.
:D
now Jos is trying to convince him to call their mom.
ha ha.
-
"Did i scare you, mommy?"
hi Phoon, i just remembered a poem i wrote to you in p5:
There was once a girl called Amanda Phoon,
whose breasts were shaped like a spoon.
She lived on the moon,
and looked like a baboon,
and was altogether a total goon.
remember?
hee hee.
(:
-
oh, and check this song lyric out!
"the pound is stronger than the dollar, holler!"
ha ha ha, must've taken some inspiration drain for the songwriter to come out with such a crap line.
the other day, we had a very politically incorrect argument with Anthony about poor people not deserving benefits.
of course, the Anthony was all RobinHood, sticking up for the poor and getting very worked up over Josephine and Sid saying that the poor and unemployed who get benefits are lazy and don't deserve any of the money which rich people work so hard for.
i loved all that tension.
me, i thrive on conflict.
favourite part of the argument would be:
Jos: "All our parents started poor, and they worked themselves up, made their own money. That's the way it should be."
Anthony: (getting very agitated) But not all people are that smart what."
Jos:"THEN TOO BAD FOR THEM!"
Sid and i laughed so hard while Anthony sulked in irritation.
aiya, BigBrother just ended ):
Pete is so weird, man.
ha ha.
OMG The Omen was such a traumatizing show.
the anti christ is still alive out there, somewhere.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT.
i think it's in the Kennedy clan.
all those misfortunes, and the whole political prominence and influence thing.
i tell you, it must be them.
must be.
AND DID YOU KNOW THAT A KENNEDY SENATOR JUST DIED LAST YEAR.
waaa, must be must be.
please someone go to all the Kennedys and take all the little boys and put all those knives in them.
PLEASE.
J has Damien eyes.
i am scared of her.
okay let's walk.
okay, am convinced have thyroid.
or at least, i hope i do.
that would explain the obesity, the acne, the anxiety, the depression, the insomnia, the lack of more hair, the ugly hair, the fatigue, the irritation fits, the non-existent concentration and the fat face.
... and if i don't have thyroid, that would just make me a very screwed up individual.
which is sad.
i found a damn pretty house on Vogue.
so nice.
(:
wish had money for property.
Jos decided that Marble Arch wouldn't be that safe a place because the the american embassy is there and everybody hates the americans, especially the scary men who make bombs.
ah, econs unit3 today.
i better get full marks man, or i can forget about passing unit6.
woke up thinking of accounting.
not just thinking. obsessing.
):
am sad because i officially went into my government exam without studying.
complacency, damn you!
the one and only topic i studied didn't come out.
and i was so sure it would that i spent the first 5 mins of the paper sincerely wondering if they'd given me the wrong paper.
when i finally realised what was happening, it was like, "oh ha ha very funny, tell me this is a joke... okay, not funny anymore."
anyway, i'm sure i flopped it.
didn't stop me from emerging from the hall beaming, ponytail bouncing and going, "FULL MARKS, FULL MARKS!"
but sank into depression later on because dammit, govt is supposed to be my favourite subject.
and i fucked it.
BUT, i still think i'm going to get an A.
:D
i know my self-confidence is nauseating.
but as Anthony very helpfully pointed out to me whilst i was in depths of depression, i would have to get a low C or D for that paper to not get an overall A.
when you have statistics backing you up, it's hard not to be smug.
okay, i give you permission to slit my throat because i am an annoying goat.
to make up for all the above shit, had accounting yesterday and ohmygad it was so baaad.
):
forget it la, don't need to go to King's.
i'll just go back to Singapore to clean toilets or be the coffee auntie for my mom's firm.
except my mom already has a coffee auntie and she likely makes better coffee than me, so i'm not getting that job either.
shall have to go Jurong JTC and work in the flatted factories (if they still exist) and be a sad sad failure.
oh, why am i so untalented?
):
on a happier note, Josephine recently went to MarbleArch in London and was so dazzled by the houses there she has already convinced her mom that buying property in London would be a brilliant idea.
so that means that Josephine will get a huge house in a nice place and i can happily leech off her costanian fortune.
and i want a cat and i'm going to call it FIZZ.
(:
okay, so here's the plan:
Josephine buys the house and J buys me the cat for christmas and i can stay in the house and play with the cat.
YAY.
of course, this is all subject to me getting into King's and that is not going to happen.
so... pah.
Jos is MIA and J is supposed to come now but she is nowhere to be found.
am all alone.
i must point out also that J is damn bimbotic when she is with Joel.
so act cute, ha ha ha.
with us, she's like waaaa Quantum Physics theories, Chemical Equations, how to make a computer. etc. etc. everything also know.
then in front of Joel it's like, what's the difference between a cat and a pig ah? eh, why is the sky blue ah? eh eh, what's this thing i'm breathing in that's keeping me alive ah?
boiboi like stupid galx, issit?
:
but anyway, quite funny.
Josephine and i were very amused.
and now the whole world can be amused with us.
thankgod i have no man in my life.
and i don't plan on having one, ever.
i mean, my whole life revolves around acting smarter than i really am.
how to suddenly act stupid?
cannot cannot.
hee hee, i want a cat.
(:
and btw, i feel backstabbed.
but you know what?
you.
and you.
i don't fucking care because hey, i've got better.
and as it turns out, i guess i didn't know you both that well anyway.
blogging pisses me off, but i cannot stop.
kill me.
anyway, the stupid ball is coming up.
and i so. do. not. want. to. go
such frivolity, waste of my bloody time.
BUT, because of many other little factors, i am jolly well going to crash the stupid thing in my jeans (think i will ultimately bow down to your stupid little rules and adhere to mere conventionality? Fuck You.)
and my half-date is going to make himself very useful and talk talk talk, maybe throw a few punches if he wants, but he jolly well better get my fat ass in because if not, i am going to be very severely pissed off and go teach a few people a good lesson
(for misrepresenting facts, for coercion and thinking they can cheat me- nobody cheats me, buster)
oh, and i think i'll set the place on fire too.
screw you.
accounting is stressing me out.
i'm such a monster when i'm doing accounting because everything starts to hop on my nerves.
(:
ah, i played with this magazine sample self-tanner/moisturizer thing the other day.
Baaaaad idea.
smelled like a biscuit the whole damn night,
and i now have orange ankles.
... damn, the last two sentences just conjured up images of Mcvities chocolate orange digestives.
very weird.
the whole smelling like a biscuit thing is really getting to me.
):
do not self-tan!
people are so complicated.
ah, and have decided that for the near future at least, the only relationships i am having are with plants.
no man, no woman, no children ... just a nice pot of fern, thank you very much.
(i really have something about ferns, it's that shade of green i tell you)
all i need in this life of sin is me and my little pot of non-moving, non-talking, non-attention needing pot of fern.
(:
sometimes i wonder what it's like to write a blog that mostly consists of:
"i lub u so veri much,
y dun u lub mii~~?"
and that would be my random thought of the day.
off to accounting. again.
):
