there is this fat female out there called bLur bAobEi who sees herself in love with hjx.
ugh BITCH BITCH BITCH.
SO FAT (fatter than me okay)
and damn act cute.
like, how old already?
she's like what, twenty fuckin' three?
which actually makes her older than him.
so
wrong.
bitch.

also find myself indignant about the existence of a certain jessica from pioneer jc.
the fact that she actually has an adequate grasp of the english language unlike abovementioned blurbaobei just rankles more.
and she is the bloody same age as me.
to sum it up simply,
i feel threatened.

OH.
and then josephine's friend rebecca liked (or likes, but hopefully liked) him too.
and that does not make me veru happy as jessica from pjc was from clementitown, and that's a far cry from crescent which is a good school which means that she is probably smarter than me, or at least more academically able, which still doesn't bode well.
i mean, obviously stnicks is cooler than crescent.
and better also.
but i owe my ability to lord it over others only because of the brilliant fortune of being an affiliated student.
but no more about that.
point is, said rebecca has pretty eyes.
and i can bet my head she is thinner than me.
and even though josephine assures me she is shorter, that is not the point.
anyway, height really doesn't matter.
henceforth, do not like this at all.

also saw own blog and sister's upon impromtu google search.
v v bad.
also, v v loser.
will therefore cease to mention the name.
will instead use hjx.
HAH, bet no other person will use that.

hello to xiangting, btw!

anyway, I HATE THOSE GIRLS.
though have no right to, really don't much care.
am afterall, a highly territorial person.
and have officially marked him as mine.

and know that lack of discretion can lead to unhappy legal repercussions,
but fuck off, i don't care.

want to sue is it?
SUE LA!
think i scared ah.
arrrrr!
-growls.

have learnt new word: 'wor'
still don't know proper context to use it.
but am going to sample it wor.
hee hee wor.
i hate blur baobei wor.
wor wor wor.
puii la.
fuck you vivian.

OMG, almost forgot.
also went to this blog (the layout was mighty lousy, as noted by v helpful j) and she was all .. loser.
have nothing much to say.
they're actually all the same.
and after awhile, my poor heart couldn't take it anymore.
but damn me, think this is all ridiculous.
aye ):

stupid hjx.
the last time i fancied him, he wasn't even that famous.
and now, whaaaat the fuck man.
he even has a hejunxiang.com
!!
SO BIG SHOT.
j just gave a brilliant piece of advice.
"if you want to kidnap him, better do it now."
(to one of the ahlians whose blog i furtively viewed with a jealous, bitchy eye, i can't remember which exactly, it's KIDNAP, not KIPNAP, YOU PLEBEIAN)

well, looks like i'd better stock up on some good quality, heavy duty rope now.
):
they leave me no choice.

oh merry christmas people, btw.
(but not to you ah lians who want my hjx, please instead rot away and get infested by maggots you stupid christmas trees)

at wan's, thet's and zin's now.
wan cooked us eggs in like ten thousand ways.
he is so motherly.
ha ha.

oh, and there's a bomb threat to croydon.
imagine that, they actually want to harm the croydoners instead of the londoners.
so innovative, these terrorists.
(oh oops, the terrorism bill will not yet be enacted or i will be proscecuted for glorifying terrorism. that blair is too much. have full right to say that, freedom of speech. europeans v into civil liberties. very weird. i digress)

am still sick.
maybe must heed charlotte's advice and start making my fengshui better.

okay everybody is talking about exams and unis again.
i am stressed.

bye.

LEE 2:47 AM
|

omg, the sister is so cute!
her email just made me so giggly.
that is, if i can giggle now with my sorethroat and god knows what else.
swollen lymph nodes, i think.
that's why the sides of my neck are all painful and .. painful.
):

phoonty's sick too.
poor dear.
except i think i'm the poorer dear because i have to study for stupid jan exams (of which, am failing miserably. shoot me yiyang)
and my mother is a billion miles away.
having your mother around just makes being sick a whole lot pleasanter.
it's just the way things are, ain't it?

waiting to sanny and my paracetamol.
yesterday, jos poured lingzhi powder into my throat.
it was foul.
i'm never touching no chinese fungi ever again.

ugh, the back of my head hurts.
i want my mother.
):

in other news, j has finally decided to hang with us and yesterday she came to jos's house to watch my vcds.
do think that am v generous.
ha ha.
as although highly territorial, still let j admire my man from afar.
okay, i know.
whatever, shut up lee.

my sister's email mentioned hjx's weight.
bloody hell, so thin.
and i thought he put on weight in this show.
lordy me.

oh and cut my hair yesterday, but desperately trying not to think about it as sincerely see no difference, and the stylist straight ironed my hair. sick.
oh well.

saw v v pretty girl at pizza hut yesterday.
jos and j didn't agree.
said she looked damn qian bian and a bit like a maid.
but whatever, i still think she's v pretty.
was so attracted to her.
(:

head hurts ):

god, wish didn't need to have exams in jan.
got panic attack yesterday about it.
):

maybe this is birdflu,
and maybe it'll kill me.

LEE 10:18 AM
|

have been very bored recently.
that is, when i forget for a moment to be terrified about the exams.

anyhoots, new house is small.
but have jos as housemate.
think that jos's mind works in funny ways.

yesterday, we were wrapping presents in her room.
v v pathetic image we made, i tell you.
but anyway, as i had a weirdly shaped present to wrap, i begged jos to help.
and she agreed.
and came up with wonderful ideas about shaping the present to look like an atap house.
and then a shopping bag.
but surprise surprise, she failed.
and the present just looked like a lump of crumpled wrapping paper.
so i wailed to her,"do something to save it!"
and that was greeted by a diligent silence as jos looked down at the present sincerely and showed her assent ever so slightly.
so i respectfully keep quiet to let the genius work her magic.
5mins passed.
and then:

"lee, how do you make xiang behave like a normal human being?"

and that confused me greatly as i never knew of an instance when xiang behaved like a normal human being.

so i said,".. i don't know. i've never done that."

and she replied," THAT'S WHY! how can i make this weird present look normal?"

i tell you, i was like ... amazed.
like, how the fuck did she connect wrapping christmas presents to xiang's abnormality?
HOW?!
so i just sat there staring at jos as she contentedly went on trying to save the present just reeling from her comment.

amazing, that girl.
and as a point of interest, she did manage to make that present look jolly good.
so if things are as she says,
there may be hope for xiang yet.
ha ha ha.

and speaking of xiang, he sucks.
that day he smsed saying if i was watching him on tv.
which is obviously a highly inaccurate way of saying hejunxiang.
and i refuse to acknowledge the unfortunate and inconsequential coincidence that lies in the name and so i anyhow send something back.
but that's not the point.
you know, just because his name is tanxiangjun which is kinda the subversion of hejunxiang doesn't mean anything.
if anything, it just means that everything hejunxiang is, he is not.
(and hejunxiang is hot, and sexy, and perfect)
so xj can get over it and stop confusing (and irritating) me.
-grumbles

note to self: get xiang to read this.

oh oh oh, and anyway, speaking of the show, have scrutinized it all over again.
and have decided that the timeline is all wrong.
and everything happened in too short a time.
i mean, how can you know that someone is your one true love in say .. 4 months?
tch, i disapprove.
though of course, this is the world of idol dramas, so reality really doesn't play a part.

another random thought would be that does hejunxiang's younger sister watch idol dramas?
and if so, does she watch his?
AND, if so, does she absolutely die of embarrassment seeing her brother say all those cheesed up love lines in the show?
or worse, see him cavorting around with a chiobu, dressed only in boxers, on a bed?
i know if i saw my brother do anything of the sort, i will disown him.
for my own sake, i hope i never get acquainted with an actor.
particularly the sort which smooches around and acts the tall dark and handsome hero.
so sick.

regardless, still adore hejunxiang.
(:

jos has a picture of him in her comp and she didn't even know.
when i saw it, i hyperventilated in shock.
it was so bad, it was practically progressing into an epileptic fit of sorts.

miss being in singapore, where can watch tv as much as i want and find out more things about hejunxiang.
have assigned sister to find stuff out.
but have this little gut feeling that she doesn't much care about him.
she is only interested in her pussy 5566 man.
grr.

ah well, wonder though, why do i constantly adore people whose first language isn't english?
must be because i consequently don't know much about them because of communication breakdown.
i am never getting married, being that i cannot like people i know.
damn.

will someone please email me?
or sign my bleedin' guestbook?

i feel forgotten.

LEE 11:45 AM
|

ooh, -jiggles.
have finished watching er mo zai shen bian.
adore, adore, adore hejunxiang.
that sexehh thang.
tee hee.

ah, he kisses bloody nicely.
i want to shag him.
(:

hotness! -fans.

still cannot bloody believe they shagged though.
i mean, when my sister promised that there'll be action at the end, i didn't think it would be quite so much action.
so ha ha, quite a surprise, that.
was salivating through it, think hejunxiang is too sexy.
my sister thinks he's nothing special.
but her opinion doesn't matter.
she likes a 5566 man.
what does that say about her taste?
tch.

his fake double eye lids look better in this show.
must go meet his makeup artist.
ha ha.

ooh ooh, and must go taiwan to kidnap him.
and bring him back for breeding.
:D

oh, except the offspring will have small eyes.
but at least the nose will look good. (hopefully)
and will have fun in the process.
HA HA.

god, i sound like such a nympho.
ignore me, please.
too high about hejunxiang.

talking to my brother on msn.
he doesn't make sense.
so fulla shit.
ha ha.
my sister isnt talking to him again because he put her vcds in peril.
that, i can understand.

excerpt of conversation with brother:

Prozac Nation says:
fucking cold
Prozac Nation says:
its like the ice age is coming
peng. says:
hahaha
peng. says:
dont live ur chesnut out in the open
peng. says:
or else it will get frozen i na ice cube
peng. says:
like the ice age squirrels

joker.

ANYWAY, everyone else is gone and i am desolated.
but i'm temporarily staying with jos.
and j is coming back on tues,
and i fully plan to harass xiang later on in the holidays when we get too bored.
so all is not lost.

am v screwed for exams.
must make it to King's ):
don't know how i'm going to, though.
gah.

oh well.
hejunxiang (:

LEE 1:43 PM
|

omg, i'm so emo now.
it's all clare's fault.

it started when i went to check my mail.
and then i see one from friendster saying that clare's written me a testimonial.
and i think, hmmph, finally she deigns to write me one, let's see what she has to say shall we.
and so i sign in to friendster and read it.

the testimonial's nice.
and i think, well i'm not gonna return one because i want to act cool and anyway i've written her more testimonials than she's written me
think. but i'm always correct anyway)
but then out of courtesy, and habit, i went to her profile to check her out.
and i go to the pictures.
and it's picture after picture of chan beaming like a loon.
with xw, with bri, with phoon, with mag, with bert, with huffy, with .. well, the whole world typically.

and it hits me like a thunderbolt that i haven't actually seen her for almost a year.
A YEAR.
will you look at that?
is that even possible?
has the entire year just passed without clare?
one whole year, and i haven't seen her bitch
haven't seen her cackle
haven't seen her fish hook nose
haven't seen her move.
that is not normal, surely.

after 7 years, damn, it sure as hell isn't normal.

and i don't really know why, but at that moment, i just wanted to cry.
it just seemed to foreign looking at her beaming face and having it suddenly hit me that .. i wasn't there.
it's like bloody well being a mother looking at her 18 year old child and thinking, "is that really my baby?"
gad, that makes me think of clare's mom.
poor clare's mom.
i'm thinking if i can get all emo about seeing clare smile, her mother must be well ... really really emo.

oh anyway, out of point.

it's funny how you know that time is constantly passing you by and that it ain't coming back, but then suddenly you really KNOW.
ugh, i do not like my emo-ness now.
v v bad.
i cannot bloody believe i'm never going back to stnicks.
never again hanging and bitching with that one bunch of people who are the nastiest rich bitches in the world, but you know that unlike every other girl clique in out small bitchy girl school politics world, there won't be backstabbing and we've got each other's back.
simply said, i miss hanging out with people i don't get sick of.

and a bitch of the same level.
given, xiang is one such bitch.
but it is not the same.
he has a penis

bleargh.

back to clare.
OH I MISS HER LIKE FUCK.
i miss her fish hook nose.
her bony shoulders
her crooked back.
her sticking out spine.
her turnip legs (only slightly, calm down clare)
her screech
her evil glares

damn me, i am such an emo.
but clare is the only one i know who can top me in being vicious.
):

who can i count on but clare to say something nastier when i say something nasty?
it's all very well to have people say, "omg, you're such a bitch!"
when i say, "tch, ** is a diseased rat/pointless lump."
but it's jolly well another to have clare say back, "omg yes. ** looks like God gave up on her halfway."
i so miss clare.

okay, anyway, xiang that cow distracted me and i went to watch informal concert which was kinda lousy, so i'm not emo any longer and therefore unable to continue waxing lyrical my immense sadness about not seeing clare and missing my old life.

but anyway yeah, ooh, i just saw the guy eyeing the ginger russian girl whose name i roughly know but cannot spell.

watched 7 cds of my show last night.
whee.
so hot.
but x ruined things again as he called to bother me during one kissing scene.
and then he hung up on me or whatever.
and i made everyone rewind the thing so i could watch it again.
and all was good and happy and the scene was getting hotter and hotter and THEN just before they kissed, tan xiang irritating jun called again.
i only have one thing to say.
waaaaaaa laaaaaooooo ehhhhh,
tch.

ha ha, charlotte, i'll like it in all mediums.
(:

LEE 11:25 AM
|

hello i am going to blog about faisal and as i have about 5 mins, i'd better make it snappy.
he wants to marry a chinese girl.
GIRLS, WATCH OUT.
just be careful, you know.
just in case you actually fall susceptible to faisal's ... brown charms (beautiful eyes, he says) and .. ya.
you know, your parents may not particularly fancy kopi guni grandkids.
fucker, he is irritating me.

anyway anyway, xiang that skinny bitch daoed me and ya, now i get v pissed thinking that he daoed me.
nobody daos me for goodness sake.
fucktard, fucktard.

oh, i have to go.
faisal says bye.
and just because im in a good mood,
faisal is nicer than xiang.
but thats not much actually, because xiang is a bastard.

anthony is the best.

BYE.

ooh, i just started a civil war.
-giggles.

LEE 4:55 PM
|

my lover has come to me.
thank you muchly to the sister for purchasing those vcds.
and to j's sister for the courier service.
(:
very grateful, i am.

was rhapsodizing to faisal about sexeh lover.
he said, "oh, your mao ze dong."
i know right,
what the hell.
he uses that because it's the only chinese name he knows.
stupid indian man.

on a brighter note, have managed to persuade him into watching meteor garden.
something about understanding the psyche of about 50% of the population of chinese girls.
(if you are the cool OC-watching sort, pause before you explode and note that china has A LOT of people and female child killing aside, they still do have quite a substantial number of females. and besides, if you haven't watched meteor garden, i assure you, you are a minority)

oh, and this is highly unnecessary (and a bit petty),
but,
charlotte, might i remind you that you wished me happy birthday on the 6th of dec.
which effectively makes you 3 days late.
start making your excuses.

... (: has left.

so i guess it's more like ... ):

(har har, j & jos. har har)

ooh, eavesdropping i am.
hmmmm.

bridget jones makes me so so sad.
she's the epitome of failure.
and i think i'm gonna be just like that.
minus the mark darcy bit, because i'm just never gonna get that lucky.
oh woe.

oh btw, hello clare!
-waves.
you need to make your presence felt more.
but i'm thinking it'll be months before you see this.

oh why am i so depressed.





... ):

LEE 2:06 PM
|

i have been tagged.
and so, here goes:

"Rules of the game: post 5 weird and random facts about yourself, then at the end list 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read yours."

#1. i suffer from what is known as the 'peter pan syndrome' -- not wanting to grow up. in recent weeks, this illness has exacerbated into what i now christen the 'emily syndrome' -- seeing where i'll be in 20 years time, but not knowing how to get there. and being scared shitless about it. growing up and all. the factors are all there. the only thing i lack is an obedient boyfriend to shoot me in the head. (refer The Pact by Jodie Picoult) which actually, when you think about it, is quite fortunate. or unfortunate, depending on how much you like me as a person.

#2. despite my almost daily postulations of being the Ruler of the Universe in the future, leading the high life, skinning xiang and all, my true mission in life is to simply be a normal human being. marry a normal human being, have 2 normal kids, live a normal life, and die a normal human being. That. Is. All.

#3. i have a slightly irrational (but very real) fear that i will one day really marry a fellow singaporean. this is not so much the fear of marrying a chinese and therefore having our holy matrimony resulting in children who look like various forms of man-made disasters, but the fear that he will have the surname Tan, and i, poor poor me, from the day of marriage, will join the ranks of the millions(!) of Mrs. Tans in the the world. you might wonder why i did not mention malaysians. that is because, in my list of eligible males, malaysians are disqualified. too close to home, but not even as good as home. you know how it is.

#4. i have recently discovered to my great horror, that when it comes to objects of my affection, looks do not matter. note, i said 'do not matter', not 'are not important'. it is true! i am really quite amazed (not to mention shocked) at how un-superficial i am. trends from the past certainly corroborates with my claim. indeed, clare described the last person i fancied as looking like 'a chunk of ham'. i kid you not. a moment of silence to absorb the seriousness of the situation. understand the negative implications of this: i will fall in love with one after another of people who resemble foodstuff. what next, broccoli? i will then have ugly children, which is another fear. (refer fact #3)

and last but not least, and especially since the trend so far suggests remarkable acquiescence towards charlotte's demands;

#5. i have a stuffed toy lion. full name Lionel William Zachary. affectionately known as Leo. five years of age next April. he is my baby. i absolutely adore him, and treat him as if a real child. clare will cheerfully recount how when phoon and her were over at my house to watch Naked Weapon and phoon that pervert kept re-playing the rape scene, i lovingly took Leo and placed him gently behind my pillow to shield my young boy from evil sights. detractors may laugh, but only because they do not comprehend the complex concept of true love. plebians.


the next 5 shall be:
lee yi
xiangjun
wanjing
josephine
faisal

LEE 10:14 AM
|