Saturday, March 31, 2007
Don't pretend.
I think you know
I'm damn precious
And hell yeah,
I'm the motherfucking princess.
today was a random day.
i realise that the three phrases i have a crippling dependency on are:
1) out of point
2) random
3) fucked up
it's like if my entire dialogue were a cloze passage, i could fill in all the blanks with them three.
"that's damn out of point la."
"so random!!!"
"that's just fucked up."
like, basically that's all i say everyday ha ha ha.
i'm so boring.
(:
somebody reads my blog and i knowwwww....... hi loser.
(ps i don't even read your blog why do you read mine?)
watched stomp the yard with my sister.
it's basically orlang cheerleading.
we got a bit dizzy because of the mtv-esque cinematography but it was quite funny
AND, the leader of the black (good guys) team is super hot, waaaaa.
mmmf, really wanna cut off all my hair.
i'm sure i will regret it like crazy, but like.
i don't wanna try to be a fucking female anymore.
失恋
):
aiya fucker la. it's not his fault but i hate him...............................................
uh.
haha, i don't wanna end my daily post on such a sad little note but i really don't know what else to say.
we had dimsum for lunch today.
i hate dimsum. i could never live in hongkong.
or marry a hongkonger, which is a good thing because they all scare me anyway.
nobody understands how i could possibly hate dimsum, but i truly do.
it's the genre of food i hate the most out of all genres.
i hate it even more than seafood even though if i were the Ruler of the Universe i would ban seafood, but i wouldn't ban dimsum. does that make sense?
because i think seafood is disgusting (and i will make sushi illegal because raw fish is just
wrong) but i just hate dimsum.
it's not purely visceral, though. it's because dimsum uses a lot of prawns (which is seafood and therefore disgusting) but it disguises it in all matters of ways and i do not like all these funny business with wrapping up food to make them pretty. it's very hypocritical, i think.
and dimsum makes me nauseous.
today, my mom ordered dimsum which was prawn wrapped in orange stuff and made to look like goldfish.
i found it very creepy.
haha, okay sorry i've been a very grouchy person today.
my face is puffed up because of all the medicine i've been taking.
):
my daddy was telling me about his ginseng, hee hee.
he giggled and told me,"this ginseng business is my new toy! i've been so excited over it! let me play with it for the next few months, ha ha ha!"
and then he illustrated his excitement by sharing how he examines his babies with a magnifying glass everyday.
hurr, priceless la my father :D
i have this damn random, damn out of point, super retro chinese song as my current favourite song. it... 说出我心中的痛, that's why. ha ha.
oh, it's all quite fucked up.
i don't think the chinese words will show.
and that's a good thing.
so yesterday when i was having lunch with my sister, i told her about my andro plan.
me: i think i'm gonna go androgynous this summer!
sister: (gives a
what's that look)
me: i'm going to shave my head, get a tattoo. and i'm gonna get braces too. i'm gonna do androgynous!
sister: (pause) so basically, you're gonna do
ugly.me: ... yes.
don't you just hate sisters sometimes..... zz
and ooh we saw grace martin at calvin klein.
completely didn't recognise her, she even sounds different zomggg.
really. she said hi to my sister and i just blanked her thinking she's some friend my sister made in the time i was away and then she went,"lee yuan!" and i was like ?!
and i looked back and suddenly it was like ZOMGGG!!
clasped my face and died on the spot.
anyway, my sister likes her hair.
haha, my mom heard about my plans to put in braces and she was very sceptical.
until i flashed my rogue tooth to her. it's like at some angle which i do not like.
and it's very obvious because the rest of my teeth are in their proper positions.
see, i hate anything which doesn't know its place in life, grr.
so my mom saw the tooth and immediately agreed that as soon as her dentist gets back from his honeymoon, she's booking an appointment.
my entire family's fanatical over teeth.
i think both my mom and dad brush their teeth like 6 times a day and they bitch about anyone who has crooked or yellow teeth.
mother had a field day when they went to china, ha ha ha.
and my brother was carted off to have his entire mouth wired in p5 because my mother was convinced she saw a bit of a buck toothiness showing itself.
and since we're on the topic of teeth, zhengyuanchang has ugly teeth.
he shouldn't smile too widely because there was one scene where the girl was having another of her pervy daydreams about the guy and in this particular one, he's waking up next to her.
so in the first few moments, i'm thinking this guy looks positively angelic asleep.
and then he peeps open one eye and gives a tiny smile and i'm drooling all over the floor.
THEN, he gives a full out beam and i see his teeth and suddenly all the violins stop playing and the angels fall out of their clouds and die.
this zhengyuanchang. he needs a mother like mine.
he needs braces.
anyway, because i am a bored person this morning, i googled him.
in some forum, a girl said this: "i love him! he's my all time fav actor now!"
i think that sentence in itself is inherently wrong. it doesn't make sense.
but maybe i'm just being over-sensitive.
also, turns out his name is joe.
short for joseph. and the surname, as we all know, is anglicized as cheng.
joseph cheng.
That. i tell you. is a very inauspicious name.
(insert disapproving look)
zhengyuanchang needs a name change and good orthodontia.
his teeth and english name does not deserve him.
truly.
argh, all choked up now.
not with emotions, no. just a lot of mucus, mostly.
):
sorry you didn't need to know that.
haha OMG! zhengyuanchang is so my type of guy :D
i think he grew. like, i don't know. just grew.
because when i saw him in some random news show in '04, i thought- nice looking guy but a bit weird somewhere.
and now he's like PHWOARRR!!!
waaa, super my type maann.
just smsed my sister lamenting why this guy SO my type, i don't like.
that mr lin so not my type, then i go and like.
idiot.
wa i like his hands.
second only to mr lin's.
ha ha ha ha!
hurr. hurrrrrrrrrrr :D quite high now.
my sister told me i'll get over it in a day and go crawling back to mr lin like the pathetic lovelorn soul i am.
which i would agree with, except i never left mr lin.
oh btw, i am so the poster child for healthy living.
i sleep at 9pm and wake up at 4am everyday.
how's that for sleeping and waking early, haha.
but i am also displeased.
someone (could be the same person) googled saul lemer(!) again and got to my blog.
@#$%^&*! my blog feels violated.
like, harrassed and raped.
angry.
and i know typing out that full name again is kinda inviting another google.
which is kinda dumb.
but seriously. it's not like i'm going to change my opinion of the guy.
and neither am i retracting anything. even if its the guy himself seeing this.
i'm sticking to everything i said. gan zhuo gan dang, hrrrmpf!
i don't like the guy. and that is (mainly) because he makes a lot of scornful remarks about denning which i think is very uncalled for. and very unprofessional. RAWR!
whateverrrrr.
anyway, i think i want to do androgynous after this summer.
dunno. just.
:/ haiya, some things................
you xing shi.
HAIYA,
gonna shave my head and get a tattoo.
):
breakthrough of today!
i ate carrot cake for the first time in my 18 year existence!
i mean the chinese one with egg and black stuff and chilli (not that i've touched the english cake, but anyway..)
found to my surprise that there's hardly any carrot and it's actually not bad.
like char kway teow (except i dont really know what that tastes like haha)
hurr i flipped through my mother's wardrobe archive and found gems.
1) white chanel 2.55 (!!!)
2) black gucci from 20 years back
3) white patent ferragamo
4) beige chanel from 2004
wa, my mother too much.
so many cool stuff also don't know how to take out and share with her daughter.
okay sorry, that was a very lian thing to say.
but i cannot get over the shock of finding out that i've been pining over a 2.55 for nothing.
turns out i've one sitting pretty in my very own home, unused (gift from taitai client- my mother doesn't think much of it)
given, the handle is leather and not chain. but still!!!
aye, anyway what the hell since don't know how to carry a chanel.
):
oh did i mention my mother saw me hyperventilating over the bags and gave them to me with a very nonchalant wave of her hand saying,"take it, take it... bring them over to your room. don't clutter up my room."
so, !!! :D :D :D
why am i such a brand whore nowadays...
i'm supposed to have been enlightened and all that already.
hai, back to square one = lousy wife x 100
(don't know how to cook, cannot be bothered to clean and everyday still spend so much money)
butbutbut, i think it's exam stress because most other days, i scorn brand names and have the makings of a stepford wife.
therefore, this is but a small glitch. anyway, when i'm married, there won't be exams marring the landscape............ haha md dont scared ok, marry me pls :)
aiyerr, i don't like good people they stress me out.
okay ive been trying to rein myself in but i cannot take it anymore because he is so super cute la i love him!! hahaha. i'm going crazy because i know he's not much to look at but now when i see him i actually sincerely think he's damn hot. going mad going mad haha. but omfg lurrrrrrrrve <3 !!
ignore me.
anyway, i've been trying to study (even though i am a poor sick cat. cough cough) and yesterday i did criminal law.
will some kind soul please tell me what does 'take the viction as they come' mean?! somewhere in the back of my mind, i know it has something to do with the eggshell skull thing. but the case talks about a jehovah's witness guy refusing a blood transfusion.
and my mother told me it's been too long and she's forgotten the finer details of crim law ): haiya why like that.
been listening to black&blue all over again.
reminds me of sec 1, and a little bit of aaron tan because (hahaha!) i used to sing yes, i will on the way to tuition to cheer me up. and that is nothing to do with aaron tan but
black&blue = yes, i will = hum to math tuition = aaron tan in tuition (on different day, but whatever la)
i have decided.
the theme for today is Pussy and Paddy kissing in the tree.
haha just now when i was picking at my chaitowkuay and watching tv, the phone inside rang and i got a start. cannot believe it.
3 years since i've graduated from secondary school and i still get that
ohshit-teacher!! feeling when the phone rings in the morning on a weekday.
such are the repercussions of ponning too much school.
not that i'm complaining- too many brilliant memories from ponning haha.
haha irritating my sister with my ahlian speak.
i feel like such an ahlian this morning.
and i get that i'm saying a lot of things which don't really make sense, but that's because i'm an ahlian who's full of insider jokes this morning.
-cackles.
okay next on planner: get well and find charlotte! :)
Labels: ahlianxz
can i move back to old blogger? this whole google thing is getting very old.
): nuh.
josephine is being funny on MSN.
and in other news, i am sick. again.
it's very annoying. and worrying, besides.
i think i have HIV.
.....saddeningxz
some random quotes to illustrate the past few days :)
saturday night saw us sitting around the dining table chilling-
dad: ah, come come let's sit down and eat and drink wine and be happy.
me: yaaaaaa, sit down, take a drink, have a fag....
dad: YAAAAA!
bro: what's a fag?
dad: cigarette la idiot.
bro: oh....(thinking he's so clever) i thought you meant fuck. have a fuck.
dad: HA HA HA HA!
yesterday,
mom: have you been studying or not?
me: (hysterically) maaaaaaaaaa, lee peng's friend said i am ugly!!!
mom: you said you were coming back to study, have you touched your books yet?
me: omg mom is ignoring me. MOM, LEEPENG'S FRIEND SAID I AM UGLY. SHE SAID I AM UGLYYYYYYYYY. what have you to say to that?!
mom: you said your european law... you better catch up on your work okay.
me: MOMMY LEEPENG'S FRIEND SAID I AM UGLY. CAN YOU DONT IGNORE ME. SHE SAID I AM UGLY LEH!
mom: (finally looking in my general direction) SO?
and then my sister and i collapsed against the wall in laughter.
in between, my sister snorted out, "so? so.... IT'S YOUR GENES WHAT."
wtf.
my family is so seriously... out of point.
but anyway right.
it is not a joke, the thing about my brother's friend saying i am ugly.
insolent little girl. haha.
i think i am not going to forgive her and when my brother sees her, i will sneak up behind him, grab her ponytail and snip it off.
say i'm ugly.... HUR. i will mess up her hair!
haha but don't you think the kids these days are damn direct?
this is the same girl who also told my brother point blank that she wanted him to make out with her. our people could do with taking a leaf out of their books and stop being so damned fake.
it's so sad how we are surrounded by so many fake people that we have to reward the cool people for being direct and real.
case in point: jos gave mervyn a balloon for being direct and in your face.
josie is saying a lot of funny things now on MSN.
and i realise how 'josie' is suddenly so widely used by everybody now when before it was something that... eh, actually it was what i called jos when j was calling her "CHENYIRUI!" everyday. because i was so amused when i first heard kenta call her that.
haha now everybody calls jos 'josie'. it's damn cute :) josie and the pussycats.
argh haven't started studying yet.
and i've got the sniffles and a sorethroat and i want the ahma drink from chachanteng.
):
i wanted to re-read animal farm.
but everytime i see anything to do with boxer, i get all these painful twinges and i just cannot continue.
it's like pity and hatred.
i hate weakness because it makes me feel so sad and sorry and i hate it.
cannot articulate it but it starts out making me feel very sad and like i should do something and in a split second, it becomes contempt. i hate feeling that way and i will hate anyone or anything which causes me to feel that way. i don't know, it's all very uncomfortable.
that's why i hate old people who have been abandoned by everyone.
or children. in general.
or stories about dogs who keep going back to the owner who beats them all the time
or 'the nightingale and the rose' by oscar wilde.
they just make me sad. like, so sad that i can never complete a thought with them inside because it actually starts to hurt like physically.
hurr so pussy.
and why am i talking about that?
okay die need to study bye.
hi to all my peaperzzz :)
hee hee, i forgot all about my laptop in my happiness to be home and wasn't going to blog. till about now. luffs.
got some pretty bad news.
and something else, though a lesser one on the relative scale.
that one i can tell you:
someone googled my contract tutor's name and came to my blog.
and you know all the things i wrote about him la.
zzz. not a good thing.
because i haven't got my name anywhere here. but i got pictures.
not good huhhz. but i thought, nevermind. because i am brave :)
anyway, flight(s) was bad.
i sat next to a big black rugby player from an unknown land (because i didn't really hear what he said. it sounded like: fizzia and i didn't dare question him)
he was huge and took up one and a half seats. one seat (his) and half a seat (mine)
and that is a very horrible thing to have when you're on a 12 hr flight in one of the lousier planes cathay pacific's got. (he kept jabbing me)
but i was kind and magnanimous (because he was big and black), and anyway! i taught him how to use chopsticks, ha ha ha.
of course, i don't actually know how to use the chopsticks.
but who's gonna doubt the girl with the flat, white chinaface? HARRR.
oh, and should mention this.
saw super my-type guy a few seats away. longish hair, smallish eyes and super nice nose. kept eyeing him. i think he knew.
later on, i realised he had a lip piercing and i almost fell to my knees and kissed his feet.
ooh, and he plaited bits of his hair so it was all messy and damn funny. i like.
giggles. love chinese boys <3!
transit was quite a disaster (as i'd expected) but the cathay pacific people were seriously... damn. damn. damn. good.
kudos to cathay pacific- i quite happily concede SQ's best airline accolade to 'em.
only in civilised asia do you get efficiency levels london can only dream of.
(insert sneering face)
but anyway, my fitness level is non existent.
i almost blacked out and died after the run to the plane (i got in through the first class door) and i only felt more alive when the plane was over jakarta.
which, i tell you, really says something.
): somebody needs to start jogging.
it's all balmy here and it gets quite annoying.
but it's better than the cold any day (i'm such an angmoh)
i still need a good bag to flash around but on saturday, my sister got a super fetch calvin klein tea dress.
i'm so sad because even if i ever get thin enough (size 2) to wear it, i will never be tall enough. hate my chest.
haha charlotte's personal statement is so cute.
my brother is such a whore.
he betrayed me last night to his new girly from rg.
but anyway, whatever la. since he has always been such a slut and rg is
such an improvement from clementi town. so at least now he's a slut with brains.
am so fat and face is a white mask of fat and water retention.
groanssssssss.
i'm quite irritated nowzzzzzzzz.
hilary is such a smelly cheebye.
i just heard that she told people i was a smoker in sec. school and i totally take offense to that because that is possibly the most untrue thing anybody can say about me. fucking slanderous bitch.
anything else and i'll probably laugh but something that is so patently untrue just offends me. ask anybody. i never touched a fag in sec. school and i would've killed your mother before i smoked one.
i mean, i bloody never said anything untrue about her.
things i've mentioned include:
a)she has an irritating nervous rat blink (true)
b)she says,"elo!" like she's a bloody tellytubby (you know it's true)
c)she acts cute (subjective, but corroborated truth)
seriously quite angry. i will not be accused of something i am not guilty of.
i have so many other flaws to bitch about that seriously, i just don't get it.
but whatever la................. just shows that i hail from a higher foodchain rung because hey, i never bloody sat around and discussed her behaviour in sec. school (namely because i didn't know she existed. but still.)
anyway, other than that, today was a happy day.
but then i lost jos' ticket and i'm still very sad over it.
dui bu qi jos pls forgive me ):
selfridges shopping.
dinner(s) again. teoh and brendan are very horny people and their sexual innuendos traumatize me. anthony played with brendan.
a lot of funny things today. but i cannot remember them suddenly.
anyway, why should i right, if you weren't there then too bad :)
super cold.
my toes are still frozen.
aiya! and did i mention that the other day i went to shell to buy water and the cashier was so strange.
cashier: where are you from?
me: singapore
cashier: you speak tamil?
me: (looks oddly at him)... no
cashier: do you have a boyfriend?
me: wtf no
and then i turned tail and ran (in a very cool hi-i-am-important-and-in-a-rush way).
but seriously man.
WHICH PART OF MY CHINA VILLAGER FACE SAYS I SPEAK TAMIL?!
anyway, i'm used to it.
people have funny reactions to my face.
it's because i look like a mongolian warrior.
okay, latest news.
the j and the jos are back.
j tried to bluff me that they got deported because weizhi and mervyn got drunk on the streets of greece but she is a lousy liar.
and it was a super lousy reason somemore. i would've been more convinced if i didn't see firsthand how horrified europeans get when they heard that in singapore, the police can grab you when you are making too much noise in your own home or drunk and kerfuffling on the streets.
haha feeling vaguely dissatisfied with life.
i think got to do with that brendan and teoh, everyday living the life of the rich and fabulous.
but then i was also thinking, what happened to my pauper dreams? ): so lousy. cannot even keep to being poor.
i have all these lines swimming around in my head that starts with 'I want..' and they're making me feel like a superficial, materialistic bitch.
which is what i am. butbutbut ):
mmmf, don't really feel like blogging.
just waiting for josie to reach GDS and call me.
okay.... apparently the girl just decided that she wasn't going to call me afterall.
pleh im bored bye
haha yay today is a happy day.
i did the unexpected and finished my coursework. one day ahead of schedule!
i don't think i've done such a thing since my first month in CTC.
it's so funny.
i started on it, whined and moaned and bitched and slowly picked my way through it word by word.
and suddenly it was 4AM and i had a 1300-word essay in front of me.
haven't slept but so high on life now that i don't want to anyway.
going to print my thing out and bring the hard copy to school.
then go to eurostar to change jos' ticket.
she hasn't gotten back to me so i shall just have to pick a date which favours my eye.
just pranced around my (tiny) room,
had a brief msn conversation with bri,
and flirted with teoh/brendan via sms.
so random.
okay thanks teoh :)
anyway OMG I WANT THE PRADA LG PHONE, PLS!
it's super nice.
okay yay gonna do all my business now and tmr i will embark on a new tribulation of life (transitting at HK)! whooperdoos.
i have no friends leh.
and that anthony tan is daoing me la.
bet he's getting high on lording over little chavvy blonde boys in his whiteboytown footlocker shop (he's not in croydon with the rest of his species anymore)
hee i still dont understand what these label things are for.
but so funny. did you see my last post?
Label: big fat cat
HAHAHA.
sorry very high now because don't have coursework to do anymore.
and i realise i vary my writing style according to mood.
today is chaoahlian with simplistic english.
yesterday was chaoahlian on drugs.
and the post before that was.. wait lemme see, oh haha angmoh wannabe.
farni.
hokays bye.
omg, i am so angry!!!
google just tricked me into switching my blogger account!
i cannot believe it! the conniving thing.
and the printer downstairs isn't working.
so i have to go to school (25mins by feet or 5 mins by bus with 20 min wait for bus) to print out the stupid judgement.
it's going to ruin my momentum and kill me.
killmekillmekillme.
anyway, i want a fat white cat and i'm going to call it prada.
or maybe miu miu (because it sounds like mew mew, hahaha)
or a goldfish and i'm going to call it sashimi.
but i don't like fishes so i'm going to feed sashimi to prada.
ahhhhh! i am so angry now i'm getting high! ):
and i have to go to school or else my coursework will never be done and i will fail my exams.
wails. so scared.
omg omg here's a thought!
i'm going to have an entire range of cats and i'm gonna name them after bags (because i want bags but i cannot afford all of them) and i will have
kelly,
birkin,
twiggy,
2.55,
paddington,
and rudolph (haha i know not a bag but if santa can have one, i also want)
how come smells of food keep wafting to and fro in front of my nose.
omg, waft.
hahahah. clare! :D
sorry insider joke.
and do you know that the new most happening place to get your clothes and stuff from is hervelvetvase.livejournal.com
apparently, all the hipz&happening people go there now so i go there to act cool too hee hee.
oh and you know what is the phrase of the century?
(okay maybe not century, just our sec school years)
chinese traditional.
haha, you must pronounce it chaaaaaaai-neeeeeese tra-deee-shen-nal.
so many laugh out loud moments because of it.
classic man, love it love it.
thank you ________ for giving us that phrase.
say too much.
omg it's going to be two.
i am so angry la, if the printer downstairs worked, i'd probably have written two paragraphs of crap about williams v roffey already.
wa i can smell food again.
somebody is taunting me.
argh and jos is daoing me, how to change ticket if like that?
don't like that la jos faster answer so i can get at least one thing done and not feel so fucked up and useless.
eh what is this label thing at the end huh.
lemme try.
Labels: big fat cat
i am a sad person today.
and tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.
sigh.
mr. williams and mr. roffey are proving very enigmatic and hard to understand.
they also don't want to be my friends.
which is made sadder by the fact that the people who actually are my friends are now in athens.
these people haven't shown me any care or concern which an attention deficit loser like me needs at times such as this.
i think my good friend in melb. clare chan looks very nice.
she also has a bag which i really want (black balenciaga motorcycle) although i am now willing to settle for a twiggy/lariat after seeing teoh's latest arm candy (it has gold studs)
i need a nice bag because i don't want to put my loewe coin pouch (not the darling) in my gap sling bag which used to be my love but just isn't fetch anymore.
i am thinking of a nice cream chanel which is sitting in my singapore home now even though it should be hanging on my (fat) arm.
and i know this is really superficial, but i really think that a new nose could really be the key to my happiness right now.
):
today was st. patrick's
i bought a green junkfood tee from urban outfitters to commemorate the national day of our favourite celtic country.
terrific dinner(s) with brilliant company of which the only thing i've been given permission to quote is,"bye... i'll tie the three of you up soon!" - to be taken fully with sado-masochistic connotations. crazy people, ha ha ha.
yesterday saw us trying to bond with the king's people at pizza express.
we played with the centrepiece rose and enlightened the king's ones to the fact that josephine is in fact half-irish.
the couple at the next table were necking so longingly they made me blush- no, not really but i kept hissing,"they're gonna have sex, i tell you."
the reply i got was,"with their clothes on?"
clever.
we've been eating too much.
thursday, we were at UCL for a talk hosted by the UCL christian society.
as speakers go, the christian society couldn't have gotten themselves a worst one.
being normally agnostic with lapses towards theism of the christian persuasion (it's my mother, i tell you), i can tell you honestly that i went to the talk with more belief than when i left.
it gets me worked up thinking about it because:-
a) he was arguing for agnosticism, not theism as he so thought and claimed.
eg. atheists say the existence of God cannot be proven and therefore there is no God, but the non-existence of God is similarly unproven and therefore, atheists are wrong in saying there is no God. conclusion: God exists.
ie. A says: A › B because B is unproven
B says: A ‹ B because A is unproven
problem: doesn't that go both ways, any way at all?
b) he argued for theism and assumed it to only encompass christianity, being both distastefully presumptuous and parochial. i was also very dissatisfied with the way he dealt with questions as such.
observe-
A: you argued for theism and presuming you are convinced as such, why christianity? why not hinduism, why not buddhism? why aren't you a muslim?
B: (spends 5 minutes putting down A on extemporaneous matters mentioned leading up to the main question and basically being very rude) i have no time, do we have another question before we leave?
A: (cuts in forcefully) you haven't answered my question. why aren't you a muslim?
B: why aren't i a muslim? (smiles condescendingly) well, because jesus died on the cross and was resurrected.
A: (argues- and rightfully- on the authority of the statement)
B: LOOK. jesus was resurrected, and this is a historically proven fact. next question, please!
-
i was indignant to say the least. he calls it a historically proven fact!
what jos and i would like to see is some evidence and corroboration.
all they have as far as i know (and believe me, i've always made it my business to know) is a plaque which mentions pontius pilateand a site some miles away in the hills which has a grave with a huge stone in front of it.
that is simply not concrete enough and i am stunned that an academic of such stellar qualifications (says on the notice he is the head of historical theology in oxford) can actually utter those very words.
historically proven fact... Pah! if nothing else, i'll have to say those three words offended me the most in the entire talk.
c) he was inconsistent in delivering his arguments.
eg. saying something during the talk and then completely contradicting himself when defending himself against a question.
it almost seemed as though it was arguing for the sake of it. for the goddamn sake of winning.
such a tiresome and argumentative person.
makes you wonder why he didn't read law instead.
d) he was very pompous, had a whole air of being right pleased with himself and he had a complete lack of respect for any opposition. he dealt with the questions against his arguments by belittling the person and i find such behaviour unworthy of a man so (supposedly) distinguished.
-
truth be told, i was quite disillusioned by the talk.
a simple christian woman from a village would've probably been more convincing for me because i have a great deal of respect for staunch, unwavering faith.
and i couldn't be more disgusted by how the man deals with his claims by saying he is backed my science and reason when under that poor disguise, any discerning listener will see that all he has is blind, self-righteous pomp.
josephine has been so motivated by the talk that she has since set out to acquire all the books the man mentioned in his efforts to debunk the atheist movement and jos has found one that is right to her taste with very good arguments.
we both decided that richard dawkins would probably be a tad too hard-hitting and i actually think the book which has found favour with jos is a little too hard core for me too.
but i will read it for enrichment.
now, i still think jesus is a cool guy and the odds are for him once being a real life person walking on this sad earth. and i also believe the bible to be a history book, though a history book with padding. like a sort of semi-autobiography, with a lot of aesop fables in between. and some abstract art things (to date, i'm still confused by solomon's song. and revelations has never revealed anything to me)
but i'm thoroughly annoyed by the talk and that has, as always, an effect of me moving more towards atheism again.
maybe after some rehabilitation at home, things will go back to centreground for me again.
still,
kudos to UCL for having some fine specimen of men.
the scientist sorts who have time for theology and are discerning and brave enough to question a very pompous academic with questionable arguments.
after our visit to UCL, our ranking of student population beauty (male) is as such:
1) UCL
2) King's
3) Imperial
4) LSE
it's 3:00AM, the others are off to Greece in a few hours.
i have a coursework due this wednesday which i have yet to be acquainted with yet and i am going to be most desolate for the following few days.
goodbye.
/edit
want proof that God exists? i've been trying to publish this entry for half an hour to no avail. there's obviously a lot of godly anger here. I'm a believer, I tell you.
"And this is good old Boston,
The home of the bean and the cod,
Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots,
And the Cabots talk only to God."in honour of Kane.
because we love him so much, he's William to us.
went to harrods with jos today where she got the same darling loewe purse except in gold suede and it's, if possible, even darling-er than mine in cream leather.
became thoroughly disillusioned with king's and the people day before yesterday and escaped to the british museum where i fell in love with the head of a 4000-year-old egyptian king and that's really saying something about my thing for older men.
quote of the week i'm still loving gathered from crashing an LSE public law lecture where the zany man tried to recall a certain bit of propety law saying,"Now, what's that thing in property law called... You know, where your grandmother's locked in the attic and you want to sell the house? What's it called?..(glancing to see everybody gaping at him).. Oh, you're all just as bad as me."
he kept taking jibes at lord nicholls' title.
it got a bit old but i was loving it anyway. as long as he doesn't desecrate denning's name.
which, speaking of it, i'm skipping contract tomorrow because saul lemer is a bastard who thinks himself worthy of jeering at the great man's judgements and i don't hold much salt in the educational value of his words.
saying you don't agree is one thing, telling a class of undergrads who may never have heard of him and might therefore form a negative opinion and unbased prejudice that "denning, as always, (laughs condescendingly) was basically saying that he doesn't really know what the law's about and he doesn't really care, either." is really much, much something else.
might i also add that saul lemer isn't some distinguished professor but a half-baked young chap who
took his bar exam just this monday. (which explains why i have a class tomorrow, pshaw)
i do think Alexander Pope's An Essay on Man makes for a fun little read.
Monday, March 12, 2007
hi,
i got the most darling little purse from loewe today. impulse buy but i still don't feel any regrets.
if you are my friend i will definitely show it to you because its cuteness says i must show it off shamelessly.
clare called me "a slut with no $ concept."
living my life from meal to meal which means i basically ate non-stop from noon to midnight, thank you very much.
we were at marylebone yesterday and i took the cutest picture of josephine which i've been expressly forbidden to post so too bad.
and i met my father's associate mr. zhaotan who turned out not to be a sixty year old chinaman as i'd expected but a twentyish singaporean who i think was woken up by my phonecall at noon and who in a confused hungover haze told me after i'd enquired about the ginseng that "...Oh, it's in my fridge now.."
tomorrow might be a very special day for our good friend anthony. fingers crossed for him, girls.
and my face hates me because i have acquired three new exploding pimples the size of jamaica.
i'm really starting to panic about the exams.
like really really really, omg ):
why am i so fucked up... zzzzz.
i so do not belong here la, with all these overachieving smart cows from all their don't know what- top5 JCs etc etc, tmd.
anyway, i really have a lot of shit to deal with at the moment.
like the module choices for next year.
and collecting mr. ginseng
fuckernadden.
all thaaaaat, in addition to just realising how close the exams are now.
why is it that i had no clue whatsoever that the exams start just two weeks after easter?
WHY.
zomggggg ): i'm so seriously fucked.
why am i in uni? why am i doing law? whywhywhy.
why aren't i building little mechanical toys in Bishan ITE like i thought in sec 4, pre o-levels.
i swear people underestimate the cleverness of their youthful selves.
): i should've listened to my inner voice and screwed myself up and gone to ITE and maybe now i'll be living in a one-room flat feeding my cats from the remnants of food from my factory job in jurong canning food.
go what london la, ta ma de.
idiot child.
i do not belong here.
these clever uni people with their hardworkingness and thousand point IQs and i, we don't mix.
no, we do not.
rafflesians? PAH. hwach-ers? PAH. victorians? PAH... and what are the other two? nationalists (what do they call them, huh- i mean NJ right) and whatever the last one is.
i belong with the other slackers of the world (who are probably now in singapore resigned to their EEFU a-level grades and wondering which aussie uni will accept their bribes)
haiya, why like that.
): sad la.
i want md now. wanna make his babies.
....
okay, i should stop with the whining. for now.
anyway, there is more to come for sure (if i can even bring myself to blog anymore)
normalish friday today. he did not give us back our essays.
that is two weeks i've been cheated now.
but nevermind because i love the way that our criminal seminars seem so dry and sad from a superficial point of view but if you actually pay attention to his monotonous drone, you really will pick up some brilliant soundbites.
like today,
he started off talking about complicity, boring stuff. then he seamlessly flowed into discussion of a case where a husband terrorized his wife into having sex with a dog.
that first bit shocked some people out of their reverie but people started nodding off again when he started rambling about the principles of the case and all that.
but the best was yet to come.
at the end of the case, he started sort of reminiscing to himself about the judge who presided over this case and in the same monotone (though with a faint sardonic smile),
my tutor said,"does anybody know of lord G? he was very interested in the case. he's quite a pervert. he was a hanging judge, he would sit in cases and sentence people to hang. now, it was quite known that before those cases, his secretary would pack him an extra pair of trousers.... and i'll leave the rest of it to your imaginations..."
it was like... OHMYFUCK.
especially when he then went right on to the next case as if he hadn't just insinuated to an entire room of us that this distinguished judge is some psychopath who gets sexually excited at sending people to the gallows.
ha ha ha ha.
that actually brightened up my day.
(which just shows you how sad my days are)
been escaping reality by re-reading harry potter.
am so excited about the seventh book arriving in july now!
i really need to know whether snape is good or bad.
he needs to be good because i've been counting on that since the first book.
i don't like my feelings cheated and should he turn out to be a bad voldemort minion, my feelings would've been abused most hideously indeed.
also, it finally hit me which house i would belong to if hogwarts existed and i were a student.
slytherin.
i don't know why it took me so long to come to this realisation (though it might've been been because i was too occupied with alternating thoughts of secretly wishing i qualified for ravenclaw and being terrified that i might be a hufflepuff-er)
obviously, i'm not really a hardcore slytherin.
but my life principles are very slytherin themed, being principally centred on the doctrine of self-preservation. ha ha.
and i think i found a kindred spirit in horace slughorn-
"He has never wanted to occupy the throne himself; he prefers the back seat- more room to spread out, you see."my god, that could've been written for me.
i don't know how weird this might sound, but i really cannot stand harry.
in fact, a lot of the principal good characters, i don't have very nice feelings for.
josephine and i concluded that it must be because JKrowling is the sort of person we wouldn't agree with.
i think that-
harry is a loser. period.
ron is a rude child whose comments border on cruel and are not witty at all.
cho chang is a despo and an act cool buay cool wannabe.
and dumbledore is a fool (i liked him a lot, but the respect started ebbing when i realised he had this unnatural biased love for harry potter and an inflated view of harry's abilities when harry is just a loser who isn't all that great at anything in particular)
i think that snape got it SO right with his assessment of harry.
"... he (harry) had no extraordinary talent at all. He has fought his way out of a number of tight corners by a simple combination of sheer luck and more talented friends. he is mediocre to the last degree..."now, sirius black and james potter were the real cool kids. (even though james potter was quite act cool, at least he act cool can make it.) harry potter is just like, you know.. cool by association.
but sirius like completely pwns everyone in being cool. he is like, the dao ming si of hogwarts. (even though when you think about it, dao ming si was quite act cool and james potter went for a muggle born which is kinda like dao ming si going for dirt poor shancai. BUT, aiya that is niggling with details. i say dao ming si in the broad sense, as in- epitome of cool. ha ha)
so sad he's dead.
and i was so disappointed with the sight of lavender and parvati in the movies! they were my only hope of the requisite pair of bitchy chiobu BFFs. in the end, parvati is some ugly tamil village girl and lavender is fat and black. puii, cheat my feelings like crazy la.
okay, but jos and i agreed that hermione is alright. she's clever and we can understand her motivations.
really into the harry potter thing at the moment... i'm sorry i subjected you to such a big load of babbling about the characters, hahaha. i've been ranting and ranting in my head for days. there's really a lot more, but i am making a conscious effort to curb my cakehole :D
oh wellymelly :)
my life is going down the drains.
but this happens quite regularly and i'm sure to live through it.
though not without a barrage of suicidal thoughts or bitter postulations of 'if only'.
damn, it's tertiary education now.
that's scaring the fuck out of me.
the song on repeat on my itunes is currently Advertising Space by Robbie Williams.
They poisoned you with compromise At what point did you realise Everybody loves your life But youjos mentioned it sometime ago and it struck us.
of course, jos also recently found out that the song was dedicated to elvis presley
which made everything in the song click. (instead of just being inexplicably lugubrious)
but that doesn't mean that it cannot strike us personally because i really think that everybody, no matter how insignificant, has something about their lives which other people might want and don't have. something which they themselves find no pleasure in, for reasons even they might not be able to understand.
the grass is always greener, innit? sigh.
it's actually harder when you seem to have everything because then it just makes you ungrateful for not being happy. and you know that; but sometimes even reason can't talk one through such things.
i'm quite infatuated with merdeka.
makes me miss LD a little.
i mean, productions used to really freak me out because i was always so scared that i would fuck up and besides all that, i hated committing so much of my time to such things when i could while it away doing something else. but it's a love-hate thing and i miss the camaraderie.
the feeling of being part of a team, a successful team, is crazy good.
and LD was always successful.
we had our meal at slug&lettuce today and after, we were supposed to walk around because we were stuffed to the brim.
but we decided to drop by home first so jos could get her glasses.
ended up meeting two hours later, though still quite resolute to walk.
we failed.
see, we did walk.
but we walked to mac donald's.
:/
we're hopeless.
later, we went to the playground.
it was completely dark and the multitude of stars in the sky were just amazing.
it would've been a very peaceful and introspective time, except amongst the stars was an orb.
a whitish orb, sort of shaded mostly but with tinges of orange at the edge of the shadows.
i was sure it was the moon.
josephine was sure that it was an orbiting planet.
there started a long argument with both of us snapping at each other with our faces parallel to the sky. for a while, she managed to convince me that maybe it wasn't the moon.
that was the point where we both became convinced that the orb was spinning madly and looked to be descending upon us.
stupidly, i said,"omg, maybe it's an asteroid and it's going to kill us all."
jos gave an alarmed shriek, grabbed me and said,"RUN!!!!"
thankfully, we calmed down after that.
and we started staring at the stars instead.
they were really very pretty and i fancied it as a constellation of sorts.
just a bit of girlish whimsy.
you don't really realise how brilliant and big the world is most of the time.
and it's only when you quieten for a moment and stop whining about life when you notice the little things that are always there but never fail to amaze you at that split-second when you really see.
most days, people look and they don't see.
it's sad how our lives take us away from the little miracles of life.
like jos said, it makes you realise how little so many of the things you fuss about matter.
and how insignificant you really are.
if anything, jos was even more amazed by the stars.
but then again, she always was very affected by the universe and all the wonders it has.
and she started rhapsodizing about what could be out there and the endless possibilities.
i swear we were gazing at the stars and she was practically having a monologue talking about all the thoughts looking at the stars gave her.
one thing she mentioned was, "i don't understand- how can anybody see all these and still not believe in aliens?"
she almost bit me when i replied that she was talking to one such person.
i think that's the biggest difference between us.
jos is always concerned about things that are so far away from her, us and everybody.
about things so far removed from reality that most people don't think about.
whereas i have always maintained a very parochial outlook in life.
josephine is a philospher.
i am just a selfish bitch.
anyway, that aside, the stars were numerous and very pretty.
everybody could do with a bit of marvel in their lives.
(:
can't wait for the weather to get warmer.
then i can go out to the playground to look at the stars some nights, haha.
and think all the random thoughts that comes to mind.
today, i randomly clicked onto my sister's friend's blog.
i was really impressed.
you know how you just read some stuff and you know that the person's meant to be a writer,
whether they themselves know it or not.
people like that don't just write, they paint pictures with their words.
i adore it when i find them, rare as they are to come by.
i don't know... maybe i'm overreacting.
but i was ready to fall on my knees and worship her.
because writing that way in mandarin is really something else.
OMFG!
jos just sent me a link.
they're going to fingerprint children from age 11 to 16 from 2010 when they apply for passports and store it in a national database.
i mean, i know that is nothing to the singaporeans and malaysians, civil liberties not being a part of our vocabularies back home.
but to this heathen land of human rights, ohmyfuck is that a tragedy!
i have a sudden image of mr. norman trembling in rage.
a lot of people are not going to be very happy with the government, i tell you...
enroachment on civil liberties has been so much a part of what i know of this government recently that i can't say i'm not indignant either.
i mean, really! this is wrong.
this blair really should know his boundaries and not force this country into something that is so against their beliefs, their everything.
you know something is deeply wrong when even the tories say this "borders on the sinister".
amazing, you know, that man.
jos sums it up succintly-
waiting for the world to end says:
tony blair hai.. so shit
waiting for the world to end says:
labour is really shitified this time
i couldn't agree more.
anymore infringements and we could really have a revolt on our hands.
seriously.hrumpf, i don't get it.
maybe blair is doing all this to kill labour's popularity and brown's chances of finally being PM.
vicious prat.
this is so sad.
i'm staunchly conservative politically, but i think brown would make a much better PM than cameron.
david cameron is a dingdong.
):
oh sadness.
and i think i just blogged a lot haha.
okay byebye :D
yayness!
(:
am determined to be a happy person even if that mightn't be true.
i really want to go out now!
but nobody is up.
this reaaaaaaaally sucks.
thurs was a bad day.
yesterday was coolio-ness :D
i went for my criminal seminar, for one.
lesson was damned boring and out of point but it's still probably my favourite class of all the classes i have to go to. and anyway, the main thing is that i went and i don't have to live with another fuck-pon-class-again fit.
and after that, we went for Merdeka!
which was damn cute! haha, sorry but it's seriously a lot better than excess baggage.
even if excess baggage had better singing.
haa, i actually liked merdeka.
mayling was so cute, seriously.
haha everybody was in love with her and jos almost fell off her seat in surprise when i told her that our tickets were from mayling.
if i was in a more hyper-normal mood, i would've been all, 'ehhh, she my classmate lehhhhhhh.' to everyone because she was really damn cute.
ha, and there were like seriously a lot of CTC people there.
of course, i didn't know everybody because i live in my own world.
but i found out that there was an AC boy in CTC who i didn't know existed. at all.
will you believe that?
haha, and joel was in it and it was damn weird seeing him act as some hooligan because he's like the definition of kindness. anyway, more of that on jos' because my blog is sadly very much public domain :)
we found out that the main character guy is from brunei.
he's damn funny. i think he's so tall that his brain doesn't have full control over his legs because he kinda slides all over the place in this damn little retarded kid way.
and the main girl character looks like an inverted muffin.
jos was being mean without knowing it again because she murmured to me in the middle of the play," wa, actually the girl really looks like the sort of girl that guys in that time would want to marry right..." and then we all simultaneously looked at her child-bearing hips knowingly.
and ohmigad, they kissed! on-stage!
waaaa, cannot. my delicate sensibilities...
i yelped when they connected because i couldn't believe it was happening.
gaspgaspgasp.
and mayling died from that random riot i didn't understand because of her boyfriend the pinko commie from a chinese school.
i really don't like communists.
HA! and i didn't know pre-marital sex existed in those days.
mm, a level results out.
not much of an excitement for me because i don't know of anybody who takes the a levels except charlotte but she daoed my goodluck sms so i thought okay maybe she's meditating and i will not disturb her.
so j was emo.
so after the play, we walked around all over the place before we decided to go meet a big bunch of people at this jazz bar which was damn nice.
this is the first time i'm seeing liai since ctc and the irony of it is that she actually stays damn near us. ewan's hair is damn long now and she looked so woman and pretty ha ha ha.
ooh, and we also saw the couple of the moment beatrix and aikseng :D they were wrapped all around each other.....
acks, and JT! cambridge law, please!! clever or not? :D
haha, can't say i don't feel a bit of pity as well... but then there's a reason why she's the first person in about 20 years from ctc who made it to cambridge law. and that's because she obviously has the capacity to survive through cambridge.
anyway, i really liked the jazz bar.
it was super pretty.
i'm going there again next time :)
dammit man, i wish i knew people who took the a levels.
as in, obviously i do, this being my year and all... but i wish there were people whose well-being i'm actually interested in enough to be excited about their results.
grr.
so estranged from life.
am depressedxz
fuck la, where is everybody.
haha this is damn lame (and a bit embarrassing)
i know i was gonna take a hike and all thatzzzzz, butbutbut
i'm back because something really BIG happened today!
i found my zara purple top hahaha :D
mission accomplished.
okay, but then it's like a bit out of point so i still have to figure out a way to do it up right.
i think i just made a very singlish sentence.
hurr, suddenly wished ahlian speak came naturally to me.
i actually think i'm already half there, haha. ahlian leeeeeeeeeee.
we went to chinatown for lunch and on the way, we collided with a bunch of kids on some school excursion and all of them were wearing red dwarvish hats.
it was like seeing a troop of garden gnomes.
SO CUTE!
wanted to string all the darling little creatures up one by one and hang them on a christmas tree.
mygod, i want a garden gnome too.
here's a business idea for the entrepreneurs out there.
why not start up a rent-a-child business?
so people like me who hate kids but really like looking at catalogue children in nice clothes can rent them, dress them up, take some pictures...
and then at the end of the day when they start to need feeding, we return them.
i mean, i'm not that great at returning stuff.
(therefore buying books instead of going to libraries because with the latter i usually end up with a fine big enough to pay for two brand new books)
but i'm sure i'll remember to the return a kid.
haha okay la, i'm not that... uh, un-maternal instinct-y (if that makes sense)
i can half tolerate children from age 5
when they can walk and articulate themselves adequately.
any age before that and they're just glorified creepy-crawlies.
yuh, i'll be a damn lousy mother.
i probably won't even want to touch them till they're old enough for us to engage in meaningful conversation.
fortunate then, that i don't intend to procreate :)
haha why am i rambling so much about all these random stuff.
slept from 9:00PM and am quite high now.
think am sleeping after this too, yay.
i think i really like the sort of liberation i get from not touching MSN and not remaining near the computer long enough to start to wonder if i should go online to check on emails and other crap.
josephine was MIA the entire day.
and for once, i wasn't being an attention deficit cow pestering her to give me some attention.
(because i had my purple top to distract me)
and i bet she missed my neediness, ha!
i'm not a good person, right.
):
i don't know why i am sad about that.
but then again, i always wanted to be a good, kind person.
maybe i should start to care what other people think of me and then because i want people to like me and think i am kind and good, then i will actually be kind and good.
you think?
hah i don't think it's gonna work either.
but it's an option.
i don't know... i don't even
like people who are kind.
why like thattttt.
wow actually really tired now.
my head is spinning. tomorrow will be a fucked up day.
sadness.
thursdays were always my favourite day to pon school in st. nicks
and i usually did just that until it started to feel weird and tiring when i found myself actually in school on thursdays
it meant that i could have a 24-hr extension to my favourite day of the week.
and it was also logic, because ponning monday is out of the question- too cliched.
tuesday still feels too near the start of the week to be able to pon comfortably.
wednesday being my favourite day meant that i would be extremely agreeable and therefore willing to go to school.
and ponning on friday is to threaten my life and well-being in school because it's LD day and nobody pons LD unless they're tired of living or dropping out of school before the next monday rolls by.
damn, i really had ponning school down to a science.
(even though that is nothing compared to clare who practically has a phD in ponning school)
i really think that my favourite thing about school was ponning school.
the kind of happiness it gives is just... unbelievable.
it's like a drug.
so sad that this concept is no more.
no wonder i have no more joy left in life.
):
omg! i almost forgot. you know whaaaat,
i'm damn angry at britney spears for shaving her head bald!
first my brother steals my mohawk idea and gets a mohawk before me.
and now. fucking britney spears goes and shaves her head.
it's so pissin' irritating!
now if i shave my hair off, everyone will think i'm copying britney spears.
!!! omg la. why that britney spears like that ):
i mean, couldn't she have just gone for a bikini wax and be done with it?
i'm never ever going to be able to get my stupid mohawk and then shave my head after with all these people cutting my queue, rarrrrr!
not happy la ):
tired. bye fuckers.
