um i couldn't resist.
check out his obliques
check out his obliquesSaturday, April 11, 2009
am slightly scandalized at how sensitive i am to caffeine. a caramel macchiato at 4pm keeps me up the entire night. which i find puzzling. seven bottles of my friend Jack Daniels and there was still enough sobriety in me to walk home, alone. it doesn't add up. or maybe my system compensates. it's a lousy trade-off, if i may say so. this means i can never inject myself with amphetamines. crystal meth will make sojourns to lala-land few and far between. which is a problem because i've yet to figure out if sleep or being thin is more important to me. if only there were sedatives that burned fat. perfect world.
it's nearing summer, which means i'm starting to panic about my weight again. the thing about being here is that everybody is so fat that against my will, my subconscious starts to recalibrate. suddenly, the need to starve is not quite so crucial. then i go back to singapore, and there are thin women everywhere. it's a constant, pervasive assault on your senses. and i spend the next one month holing up at home, feeling sorry for myself.
still, at least london isn't like australia. there must be something in the air there. my sister reached melbourne and immediately grew a double-chin. going back to singapore is going to be a rude awakening for her.
here's a thing i learnt from looking at my brother's ex girlfriend though- a fringe going halfway down your face hides a multitude of sins. it did not please me that my brother was duped. this comes from making hasty decisions. it's like deciding a girl is angelina jolie when she's got on monster vintage shades. rule of thumb: anybody with a halfway decent chin looks good in oversized shades. same with forest-style fringes. they cover the same bits (or percentage) of a face.
word of advice to men out there. if your girlfriend came to you with a huge fringe, it would be wise to give that fringe a flip just to see what resides beneath it. this prevents any unhappy endings later on due to fraudulent misrepresentation.
this is also true where they tan themselves to within an inch of their lives.
FACT: all fully browned girls with big hair look like rachel zoe's little harem of crystal-meth'ed hotties.
that's a valuable lesson learnt for my brother and i. he is going to start being more inquisitive about his ladies' hairstyle choices and i'm going to spend summer acquiring a fringe and baking myself into a crisp.
it's nearing summer, which means i'm starting to panic about my weight again. the thing about being here is that everybody is so fat that against my will, my subconscious starts to recalibrate. suddenly, the need to starve is not quite so crucial. then i go back to singapore, and there are thin women everywhere. it's a constant, pervasive assault on your senses. and i spend the next one month holing up at home, feeling sorry for myself.
still, at least london isn't like australia. there must be something in the air there. my sister reached melbourne and immediately grew a double-chin. going back to singapore is going to be a rude awakening for her.
here's a thing i learnt from looking at my brother's ex girlfriend though- a fringe going halfway down your face hides a multitude of sins. it did not please me that my brother was duped. this comes from making hasty decisions. it's like deciding a girl is angelina jolie when she's got on monster vintage shades. rule of thumb: anybody with a halfway decent chin looks good in oversized shades. same with forest-style fringes. they cover the same bits (or percentage) of a face.
word of advice to men out there. if your girlfriend came to you with a huge fringe, it would be wise to give that fringe a flip just to see what resides beneath it. this prevents any unhappy endings later on due to fraudulent misrepresentation.
this is also true where they tan themselves to within an inch of their lives.
FACT: all fully browned girls with big hair look like rachel zoe's little harem of crystal-meth'ed hotties.
that's a valuable lesson learnt for my brother and i. he is going to start being more inquisitive about his ladies' hairstyle choices and i'm going to spend summer acquiring a fringe and baking myself into a crisp.